“In England when you make a movie even the weather is against you. In Hollywood the weatherman gets a shooting schedule from all the major studios and then figures out where he can fit in a little rain without upsetting Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer too much.” LittlesFunnyToo MuchFiguresFitMajorsRainHollywoodEnglandStudiosWeatherShootingCaliforniaUpsetSchedulesMetroWeathermenMayer Author:Bob Hope
“Food, love, career, and mothers, the four major guilt groups.” LoveFunnyMotherCareersFourGroupsMajorsHumorousGuiltWittySecret LoveFood Love Author:Cathy Guisewite
“Now, most of the time you couldn't be too sure of the quality of the drug. Although, in my experience the stuff was always of a very high quality, because back then we didn't have business majors peddling lower-quality stuff in an effort to increase profits.” HumorFunnyStuffEffortQualityDrugMajorsIncreaseProfitHigh QualityPeddling Book:Nothing's Sacred Source: Nothing's Sacred
“Inanimate objects can be classified scientifically into three major categories: those that don't work, those that break down and those that get lost.” FunnyScienceThreeLostWorkBreakObjectsComputerMajorsDown AndCategoriesBreaking DownBreak UpLost FriendshipInanimate Objects Author:Russell Baker
“A friend of mine, now retired, was then a major exec at a major bank, and one of her jobs, the last four years, was the farewell interview.” YearsFunnyJobsLastsFourMinesMajorsInterviewsFour YearsFarewellRetiredGoodbye FarewellFarewell FriendFarewell Love Author:Donald E. Westlake
“It's much easier for me to make major life, multi-million dollar decisions, than it is to decide on a carpet for my front porch. That's the truth.” LifeFunnySuccessChoicesDecisionBusinessMillionsFrontsEasierMajorsDollarsCarpetPresentationMillion DollarsPorchFront Porches Author:Oprah Winfrey