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Russell Baker

Russell Baker Quotes

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Famous Russell Baker Quotes

“Being solemn has almost nothing to do with being serious, but on the other hand, you can't go on being adolescent forever, unless you are in the performing arts, and anyhow most people can't tell the difference. In fact, though Americans talk a great deal about the virtue of being serious, they generally prefer people who are solemn over people who are serious. In politics, the rare candidate who is serious is easily overwhelmed by one who is solemn. This is probably because it is hard for most people to recognize seriousness, which is rare, especially in politics, but comfortable to endorse solemnity, which is as commonplace as jogging. Jogging is solemn. Poker is serious. Once you grasp that distinction, you are on your way to enlightenment.”

PoliticsSeriousnessJoggingPerforming ArtsPoker
Book:So This Is Depravity and Other Observations
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“While it is very sturdy of comfortable men to point out that life is unfair, the people it is unfair to are not apt to be morally or philosophically elevated by the announcement. If you are going to preach that unfairness is inescapable for some, good sense suggests that you also accept the inevitability of beastly behavior by people who have to carry the burden.”

PeopleIfsMenLife IsAcceptingBehaviorComfortableBurdenUnfairGood SenseInevitabilityAnnouncementsUnfairnessSturdyBeastlyLife Is Unfair
Author:Russell Baker
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“Inanimate objects can be classified scientifically into three major categories: those that don't work, those that break down and those that get lost. The goal of all inanimate objects is to resist man and ultimately to defeat him, and the three major classifications are based on the method each object uses to achieve its purpose. As a general rule, any object capable of breaking down at the moment when it is most needed will do so.”

MenMomentsUsePurposeThreeLostGoalBreakAchieveObjectsNeededMajorsCapableDown AndMethodDefeatCategoriesBreaking DownClassificationInanimate Objects
Author:Russell Baker
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“Most English speakers do not have the writer's short fuse about seeing or hearing their language brutalized. This is the main reason, I suspect, that English is becoming the world's universal tongue: English-speaking natives don't care how badly others speak English as long as they speak it. French, once considered likely to become the world's lingua franca, has lost popularity because those who are born speaking it reject this liberal attitude and become depressed, insulted or insufferable when their language is ill used.”

WorldLongReasonCareUsedLostSpeakLanguageBornAttitudeSeeingBecomingUniversalIllDon't CareHearingTongueRejectsSuspectsSpeakersPopularityInsultedFuseSpeak EnglishInsufferableEnglish Speaking
Book:There's a Country in My Cellar
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“Goat cheese... produced a bizarre eating era when sensible people insisted that this miserable cheese produced by these miserable creatures reared on miserable hardscrabble earth was actually superior to the magnificent creamy cheeses of the noblest dairy animals bred in the richest green valleys of the earth.”

PeopleEarthAnimalFoodCreaturesEatingGreenCookingSuperiorsMiserableErasCulinaryValleysSensibleCheeseMagnificentBizarreGoatsDairy
Author:Russell Baker
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“How many more years will our educators continue to lecture us on the evils of whipping children until they bring home high grades? Year after year we listen to these fellows tell us that it is not the grade that counts but the development of the child's personality. After the lecture they go back to all the best schools and reject our children because they have C averages.”

YearsChildrenHomeSchoolEvilEducationPersonalityDevelopmentOur ChildrenFellowsAverageGradesRejectsLecturesEducatorAll The BestWhippingBest School
Book:Poor Russell's almanac
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“I worry about people who get born nowadays, because they get born into such tiny families--sometimes into no family at all. When you're the only pea in the pod, your parents are likely to get you confused with the Hope Diamond. And that encourages you to talk too much.”

PeopleChildrenSometimesParentBornFamilyWorryToo MuchTinyConfusedDiamondPeasPampering
Book:Inventing the Truth: The Art and Craft of Memoir
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“Though Americans talk a good deal about the virtue of being serious, they generally prefer people who are solemn over people who are serious. In politics, the rare candidate who is serious, like Adlai Stevenson, is easily overwhelmed by one who is solemn, like General Eisenhower. This is probably because it is hard for most people to recognize seriousness, which is rare, especially in politics, but comfortable to endorse solemnity, which is as commonplace as jogging.”

PeopleHardDealsVirtueSeriousComfortableCandidatesOverwhelmedSeriousnessSolemnCommonplaceJoggingSolemnity
Author:Russell Baker
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“Unpleasant questions are being raised about Mother's Day. Is this day necessary? . . . Isn't it bad public policy? . . . No politician with half his senses, which a majority of politicians have, is likely to vote for its abolition, however. As a class, mothers are tender and loving, but as a voting bloc they would not hesitate for an instant to pull the seat out from under any Congressman who suggests that Mother is not entitled to a box of chocolates each year in the middle of May.”

YearsMayMotherHalfClassMiddlePolicyPoliticianVoteMajorityRaisedBoxesSensesInstantSeatsVotingChocolateThis DayEntitledMothers DayAbolitionCongressmanPublic PolicyBox Of Chocolates
Author:Russell Baker
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“We honor ambition, we reward greed, we celebrate materialism, we worship acquisitiveness, we commercialize art, we cherish success and then we bark at the young about the gentle arts of the spirit. The kids know that if we really valued learning, we would pay our teachers what we pay our lawyers and stockbrokers. If we valued art, we would not measure it by its capacity to produce profits. If we regarded literature as important, we would remove it from the celebrity sweepstakes and spend a little money on our libraries.”

IfsKnowsLittlesArtImportantKidsYoungSpiritLiteraturePayTeacherProduceHonorAmbitionWorshipCapacityRewardsLibraryGreedProfitLawyerCelebrateGentleRemoveMaterialismCherishBarkLittle MoneyStockbrokersSweepstakes
Author:Russell Baker
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