“I have a terrible problem with procrastination. A friend told me, "Well, you should go to therapy." And I thought about it, but then I said, "Wait a minute. Why should I pay a stranger to listen to me talk when I can get strangers to pay to listen to me talk?" And that's when I got the idea of touring.” ShouldWellsSaidI CanIdeasProblemWaitingPayMinutesTerribleStrangerTherapyProcrastinationShould ITouringListen To Me Author:Ellen DeGeneres
“Even with clothing naked animals, there were people who wanted to send in money. A woman in Santa Barbara, California, sent a $40,000 check. I fondled it for about five minutes and then sent it back. I told her I couldn't accept money from strangers.” PeopleWantedAnimalAcceptingFiveMinutesStrangerChecksNakedCaliforniaClothingsFive MinutesSantaBarbaraSanta Barbara Author:Alan Abel
“Everybody's playing the game but nobody's rules are the same... Never make a promise or plan. Take a little love where you can... Never stay too long in your bed. Never lose your heart, use your head... Never take a stranger's advice. Never let a friend fool you twice... Never be the first to believe. Never be the last to deceive... Never leave a moment too soon. Never waste a hot afternoon... Never stay a minute too long. Don't forget the best will go wrong... Better learn to go it alone. Recognise you're out on your own. Nobody's on nobody's side.” FirstsBelieveHeartLittlesLongMomentsUseLastsGamesSidesLosesForgetPlansMinutesAdviceFoolPromiseBedWasteHotStrangerAfternoonDeceivingRecogniseLittle LoveRecognise YouHot Afternoon Author:Tim Rice
“So much of a stand-up's life is doing live radio and having to be funny and quick on the spot with these strangers, and sort of surgical in terms of how funny I can be in three minutes.” I CanLife IsThreeTermMinutesRadioStrangerSpots Author:Aisha Tyler