“As my family and I have worked through the grieving process, I've said all along ... that it may very well be that that process, by the time we get through, it, closes the window on mounting a realistic campaign for president that it might close.” WellsMaySaidMightProcessPresidentWindowMy FamilyCampaignsGrievingRealisticGrieving Process Author:Joe Biden
“You essentially have a human-relations database on millions of Americans. The administration said, "Well we're not listening to calls, we don't collect content." As [Vice President] Joe Biden said when he was a United States senator, you don't need to listen to those calls. If you have who somebody called, when and where, and you learned, for example, somebody called a psychiatrist three times in the last few days and twice after midnight, you know a lot about that person that they may not want people to know about them, especially the government.” PeopleIfsKnowsWantNeedsHumansWellsMayPersonsSaidStatesGovernmentLastsThreePresidentUnitedMillionsUnited StatesExampleListeningRelationVicesAdministrationSenatorsMidnightThree TimesPsychiatristHuman RelationsVice PresidentBidenDatabases Author:Ron Wyden
“In a recent interview, Hillary Clinton said that one of the jobs that prepared her to be president was sliming fish in Alaska. As opposed to Bill, who learned by catching crabs in Cancun.” SaidJobsPresidentBillsPreparedClintonFishesInterviewsCatchingAlaskaCrabsCancun Author:Jimmy Fallon
“Republican candidate George Pataki said his dogs would give him the best endorsement for becoming our next president. Until they hear Chris Christie always carries bacon in his pockets. (Joke's on them, though, he's never going to give them any of that pocket bacon. It's what gets him through long meetings!)” GivingLongSaidNextPresidentDogBecomingRepublicanJokesMeetingsCandidatesPocketsCarrieEndorsementsChristie Author:Jimmy Fallon
“Apparently President Obama's favorite cocktail is a martini. When asked how he likes it, he said, 'On the beach, in Hawaii, in 2017.'” SaidPresidentLikesBeachPresident ObamaHawaiiCocktailsMartini Author:Jimmy Fallon
“At a recent education summit, President Obama admitted that he can't rap. When they heard, Americans said, 'Good!'” SaidPresidentHeardRapPresident ObamaSummit Author:Jimmy Fallon
“Mark my words.It will not be six months before the world tests Barack Obama like they did John Kennedy. The world is looking. We're about to elect a brilliant 47-year-old senator president of the United States of America. Remember I said it standing here if you don't remember anything else I said. Watch, we're gonna have an international crisis, a generated crisis, to test the mettle of this guy.” IfsWorldYearsSaidStatesAmericaRememberGuyPresidentUnitedWatchesUnited StatesMonthsSixStandingTestsMarkCrisisInternationalBrilliantBarackSenatorsUnited States Of AmericaSix MonthsThis GuyMettleJohn Kennedy Author:Joe Biden
“I didn't vote for [President Bush]. But I've never said anything bad about the guy because I have respect for the office.” SaidGuyPresidentOfficeVotePresident Bush Author:Jon Bon Jovi
“Donald Trump said he still wants to look more closely at Obama's birth certificate to make sure that it's real. Incidentally, President Obama said the same exact thing about Donald Trump's hair.” WantLooksSaidStillsRealPresidentHairTrumpBirthPresident ObamaCertificatesBirth Certificate Author:Jimmy Fallon
“Gary Busey said on the Today Show yesterday that Donald Trump would make a great President. Now Trump just needs endorsements from Randy Quaid and Charlie Sheen.” NeedsSaidShowsTodayPresidentTrumpYesterdayCharlieGaryEndorsementsRandyGreat PresidentsQuaid Author:Conan O'Brien
“Donald Trump said that if President Obama releases his birth certificate, Trump will release his tax return. Obama said he won't run for a second term if Trump releases that thing on his head.” IfsSaidRunningPresidentTermReturnTrumpBirthTaxesReleasePresident ObamaCertificatesBirth CertificateTax Returns Author:Conan O'Brien
“I have said for a long time that I thought the president would be best served if the attorney general resigned so I think it's the right thing to do.” IfsThinkingLongSaidWould BePresidentLong TimeThings To DoRight ThingAttorneyResigned Author:John McCain