“The median family of four ... paid $4,722 in federal taxes last year. That's enough to pay for a new curtain for the secretary of commerce's office, to bribe a farmer not to plant 38 acres with corn ... seven weeks of salary for a Customs man assigned to save us from the terror of high-quality, low priced foreign TV sets, or the subsidy on 6,000 bushels of wheat to prop up the Soviet regime. Surely civilization would collapse without such essential services.” MenYearsEnoughLastsPayQualityFourWeekTvsCivilizationTaxesEssentialsOfficeLowsPaidPlantSevenTerrorCustomsFarmersSovietRegimesCollapseCommerceLast YearSecretaryCurtainsSalaryCornWheatPropsHigh QualityBribeAcresSubsidiesMedianFederal Taxes Author:Alan Bock
“A new report says that last year Colorado collected $44 million in marijuana taxes. Unfortunately, they can't remember where they put it.” YearsLastsRememberMillionsTaxesReportsMarijuanaLast YearColorado Author:Conan O'Brien
“It's tax season. When I woke this morning and realized it was tax season, I said, My God, didn't we just pay taxes last year?” YearsSaidLastsPayMorningTaxesSeasonsLast Year Author:David Letterman
“Last year I had difficulty with my income tax. I tried to take my analyst off as a business deduction. The Government said it was entertainment. We compromised finally and made it a religious contribution.” YearsMadeSaidGovernmentLastsReligiousTaxesDifficultyEntertainmentIncomeMade ItContributionLast YearIncome TaxAnalystsDeductions Author:Woody Allen
“Where's my tax form? Where's the file that's supposed to hold my W-2 form and interest statement? Where's the mileage log I specifically asked be kept last year?? Where's the monthly check summary? And who's been stuffing Visa receipts in the aluminum foil drawer??!! How embarrassing. I'm surrounded by idiots and I'm the only one in the office.” YearsLastsFormInterestTaxesOfficeChecksStatementsIdiotLast YearEmbarrassingFilesDrawersVisaSummaryReceiptsFoilsAluminumMileageAluminum Foil Author:Cathy Guisewite
“The last man to try to run for president advocating a tax increase was Walter Mondale. He lost 49 states in 1984, and the "I'll raise your taxes" reputation haunted him all the way to Minnesota last year, where he lost his 50th state in the Senate election.” MenWayTryingYearsStatesRunningLastsLostPresidentTaxesIncreaseRaisesElectionReputationSenateLast YearAdvocatingMinnesotaTax IncreasesWalter Mondale Author:Dick Morris
“f the government is going to put money into the automobile sector, it should break up GM and Chrysler as a condition of financial aid, and it should be even-handed in its treatment of start-up firms like Tesla, Miles, Fisker, and others. It would be terrible to kill the entrepreneurs who have taken great risks to bring new automotive technologies to market by pumping tax dollars into the behemoths that have done everything wrong for the last years.” ShouldYearsDoneGovernmentWould BeLastsBreakTechnologyTakenRiskConditionsTerribleTaxesDollarsEntrepreneurFinancialAidsMilesFirmTreatmentLast YearAutomobileGreat RiskTeslaTax DollarsChryslerBehemothFinancial Aid Author:Denis Hayes