Best taxes & writing Quotes | Short & Famous Sayings

“All I'm doing is I'm filling out my tax returns - or my accountants are, and I'm paying whatever I'm supposed to pay, though I'm giving away a large amount of the money and that probably lowers my tax rate because I'm giving away so much money. But change the law, but don't blame me for the law. I'm not writing the law. I didn't write the law.”

Giving Writing Law Pay Return Amount Taxes Blame Rate Filling Accountants Blame Me Tax Returns Don't Blame Me

Author:David Rubenstein

“Writing checks to the IRS that include strings of zeros does not bother me ... Overall, we feel extraordinarily lucky to have been dealt a hand in life that enables us to write large checks to the government rather than one requiring the government to regularly write checks to us-say, because we are disabled or unemployed.”

Feels Writing Doe Has Beens Hands Government Business Lucky Taxes Checks Finance Bother Strings Disabled Unemployed Irs

Author:Warren Buffett

“Two things you need to know about taxes. They've extended the deadline to April 18, and when you write your check, just make it out to China.”

Knows Needs Writing Two Taxes China Checks Two Things April Deadline

Author:David Letterman

“If you could extend the elective franchise to all persons of color who can read the Constitution of the United States in English and write their names and to all persons of color who own real estate valued at not less than two hundred and fifty dollars and pay taxes thereon, and would completely disarm the adversary. This you can do with perfect safety. And as a consequence, the radicals, who are wild upon negro franchise, will be completely foiled in their attempts to keep the Southern States from renewing their relations to the Union.”

Source: The Papers of Andrew Johnson: May-August 1865

“coincident with the explosive growth of research, the art of writing science suffered a grave setback, and the stultifying convention descended that the best scientific prose should sound like a non-human author addressing a mechanical reader. ... We injure ourselves when we fail to make our discipline as clear and vibrant as we can to students - prospective scientists - and to the public who pay the taxes.”

Source: Boojums All the Way Through: Communicating Science in a Prosaic Age

“Tax day was yesterday. And marijuana growers are complaining that they can't write off a single expense thanks to federal laws. Well, apparently someone tried to claim the Phish tour as his home office and that's not going to happen.”

Writing Wells Home Happens Law Taxes Office Claims Complaining Yesterday Thanks Expenses Marijuana Tax Day Home Office Phish

Author:Conan O'Brien

“President Bush released his tax returns yesterday. He listed the economy as a liability. He gets to write that off.”

Writing President Economy Return Taxes Yesterday President Bush Liability Tax Returns

Author:Jay Leno

“Every year I write a tax advice column and I used to always make fun of that. One year, one of my favorite IRS commissioners, I think his name was Roscoe somebody, wrote that one of the most often-asked questions by taxpayers was, "How can I contribute more?" Well, I tell ya, ol' Roscoe's really been doing situps under parked cars again. I've heard a lot of people ask a lot of questions about taxes, but I never heard anybody say, "How can I, the ordinary person, send more money for no reason?"”

“When I write my annual tax column, some ex-IRS agent will complain, "There you go IRS bashing again." They're always saying that they're just doing their job. Someone I know once said, "You could get another job."”

Knows Writing Said Jobs Taxes Complaining Agents Exes Columns Annuals Irs

Author:Dave Barry

“When my mother makes out her income tax return every year, under occupation she writes, eroding my daughter's self-esteem.”

Writing Years Self Mother Self Esteem Return Taxes Daughter Income Esteem My Daughter Occupation Scorn Income Tax Make Out Tax Returns

Author:Robin Roberts

“How would you like your child in kindergarten through 12th grade attending classes with kids who can't read, write, speak or understand English -- or American education values? Furthermore, how would you feel if those students felt zero investment in education, in English and the American way? How would you like your child's education dumbed down to that of a classroom from the Third World? Guess what? Today, if you're a parent of a child in thousands of classrooms across America, that's what's happening to your children with your tax dollars.”

“When preparing your return, you should be sure to avoid common mistakes. The two most common taxpayer mistakes, states the IRS booklet, are (1) "failure to include a current address," and (2) "failure to be a large industry that gives humongous contributions to key tax-law-writing congresspersons."”

Giving Should Writing Two States Law Common Mistake Keys Industry Return Taxes Currents Contribution Addresses Preparing Taxpayers Irs

Book:The World According to Dave Barry

Source: The World According to Dave Barry

“Writers should be able to fully deduct from their taxes all writing-related expenses, including alcohol, parking tickets, court judgments, fines for lewd public behavior, Zoloft, and cigarettes.”

Should Writing Able Fine Taxes Behavior Judgment Court Including Alcohol Related Expenses Cigarette Tickets Parking

Author:Chuck Palahniuk

“Right now I think I'm the smartest I've ever been. I'm doing everything great now and everything perfect. Like with this taxes stuff. I'm getting better at that. I'm making sure everything is a write-off. Every single thing.”

Thinking Writing Stuff Perfect Right Now Taxes Get Better

Author:Kendra Wilkinson

“While I am not a scientist, and write primarily on economics, tax policy and budget issues, I have been fascinated over the years by Heartland's work on climate change.”

Writing Years Has Beens Issues Policy Taxes Economics Scientist Climate Climate Change Budgets Fascinated

Author:Peter Ferrara

“Some people do rely too much on technology. Look, technology is wonderful and I love it. When I was in the UK and I had hit records I would also have a high tax bill at the end of the year, and that would be the time to buy up all the technology - it was write offs.”

People Writing Years Looks Ends Would Be Technology Records Too Much Wonderful Taxes Bills Rely High Taxes

Author:Tony Visconti

“When I'm writing in long hand, it just goes on and on and on. When I was in the saloon business, I would just greet people and talk to them and avoid taxes, and getting behind the bar. What else.”

People Writing Long Hands Behinds Goes On Taxes Bars Saloons

Author:Malachy McCourt

“Suppose that throughout your childhood you were good with numbers. Other kids used to copy your homework. You figured store discounts faster than your parents. People came to you for help with such things. So you took accounting and eventually became a tax auditor for the IRS. What an embarrassing job, right? You feel you should be writing poetry or doing aviation mechanics or whatever. But then you realize that tax collecting can be a calling too.”

“Except for the usual house chores, doing income tax, etc., I am free to write whenever I want.”

Want Writing House Taxes Income Etc Usual Income Tax Chores

Author:Yuriy Tarnawsky

“I don't know a lot of writers, even writers who have been on the bestseller list for a few weeks, or writers who have gotten movie options, who can live on just their writing income. Once you break it down to the years it took to write the book, place it, promote it, and you pay the agent, pay the taxes, the annual income is not enough to live on comfortably. I do not have a starving artist inclination. I'm from the working class. I don't feel creative unless I feel like my house is going to be there and I'm going to be fed. I can't worry about money and write. Maybe some people can.”

People Writing Book Enough Artist House Break Worry Creative Week Taxes Working Class Starving Artist

Author:Debra Monroe

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