“According to the Rand McNally Places-Rated Almanac, the best place to live in America is the city of Pittsburgh. The city of New York came in twenty-fifth. Here in New York we really don't care too much. Because we know that we could beat up their city anytime.” KnowsHumorCareFunnyAmericaCitiesToo MuchNew YorkBeatsTwentiesDon't CareFifthPlaces To LiveBest PlacePittsburghCaring Too Much Author:David Letterman
“I make it a rule never to weigh or measure a fish I've caught, but simply to estimate its dimensions as accurately as possible, and then, when telling about it, to improve these figures by roughly a fifth, or twenty percent. I do this mainly because most people believe all fishermen exaggerate by at least twenty percent, and so I allow for the discounting my audience is almost certain to apply.” PeopleBelieveCertainAudienceSeaFiguresPercentRiversTwentiesCaughtFishesBoatDimensionsLakesFishingFifthFisherman Author:Ed Zern
“Coincidentally, a good age for a Japanese girl is younger than twenty five, because that's when she turns into a 'Christmas Cake'. Christmas cakes, as everyone knows, are desirable before the twenty fifth but afterward quickly become stale and are put on the shelf.” KnowsAgeTurnsGirlFiveTwentiesCakeShelvesDesirableFifthTwenty FiveStale Book:The Gargoyle Source: The Gargoyle
“History in the making is a very uncertain thing. It might be better to wait till the South American republic has got through withits twenty-fifth revolution before reading much about it. When it is over, some one whose business it is, will be sure to give you in a digested form all that it concerns you to know, and save you trouble, confusion, and time. If you will follow this plan, you will be surprised to find how new and fresh your interest in what you read will become.” IfsKnowsGivingMightFormReadingWaitingInterestHistoryPlansTroubleRevolutionNewsConcernTwentiesSouthConfusionRepublicUncertainFifth Author:Anna Brackett
“The Rolling Stones reunited for a twenty-fifth anniversary tour last week. Keith Richards said that he's happy to continue to do what he's been doing for the past twenty-five years: cheating death.” YearsSaidLastsPastDeathFiveWeekStonesTwentiesFive YearsCheatingRollingFifthTwenty FiveRolling StonesKeithReunitedFifth Anniversary Author:Norm MacDonald
“Fail not to call to mind, in the course of the twenty-fifth of this month, that the Divinest Heart that ever walked the earth was born on that day; and then smile and enjoy yourselves for the rest of it; for mirth is also of Heaven's making.” MindHeartEarthCoursesHeavenEnjoyBornFailingMonthsTwentiesChristmasFifthMirthMerry ChristmasChristmas ThoughtsChristmas LoveShort ChristmasReligious ChristmasMeaning Of Christmas Author:Leigh Hunt
“Who's that new guy with the snooty accent who came out and talked to the police?" Evan persisted. "He looks like some kind of male model." "That's just my cousin Ian," Amy explained. "Not much of a family resemblance," Evan noted sourly. "He's like a twenty-fifth cousin, ten times removed." Evan was not satisfied.” LooksKindGuyTenModelsTwentiesPoliceMalesSatisfiedAccentsCousinFifthAmyResemblanceMy Cousin Author:Gordon Korman