“When the child is twelve, your wife buys her a splendidly silly article of clothing called a training bra. To train what? I never had a training jock. And believe me, when I played football, I could have used a training jock more than any twelve-year-old needs a training bra.” NeedsYearsBelieveChildrenUsedWifeFootballTrainingTrainSillyArticlesClothingsTwelveBelieve In MeUnderwearPubertyBrasJocks Author:Bill Cosby
“Women's magazines continue to print 'helpful' articles on How to Hang on to Your Husband while thousands of wives write to me and complain that 'hanging is too good for 'em.” WritingWifeHusbandComplainingMagazinesEmsHelpfulPrintArticlesYour Husband Book:Ann Lander's Encyclopedia, A to Z: Improve Your Life Emotionally, Medically, Sexually, Socially, Spiritually Source: Ann Lander's Encyclopedia, A to Z: Improve Your Life Emotionally, Medically, Sexually, Socially, Spiritually
“[writing to Stirling in 1740] ... an unlucky accident happened to some of the French mathematicians in Peru. It seems that they were shewing French gallantry to the natives' wives, who have murdered their servants destroyed their instruments and burnt their papers, the Gentlemen escaping narrowly themselves. What an ugly article this will make in a journal.” WritingSeemsWifeHappenedPaperInstrumentsUglyAccidentsDestroyedServantGentlemanArticlesMathematicianJournalPapersEscapingUnluckyPeruGallantry Author:Colin Maclaurin
“These articles subscribed, if I continue to endure you a little longer, I may by degrees dwindle into wife.” IfsMayLittlesWifeDegreesEndureArticles Author:William Congreve
“You wanna hurt me? Go right ahead if it makes you feel any better. I'm an easy target. Yeah, you're right. I talk too much. I also listen too much. I could be a cold-hearted cynic like you, but I don't like to hurt people's feelings. Well, you think what you want about me. I'm not changing. I like me. My wife likes me. My customers like me. 'Cause I'm the real article. What you see is what you get.” PeopleIfsThinkingWantFeelsWellsRealFeelingsCausesEasyHurtToo MuchWifeLike YouColdYeahCustomersMy WifeWhat You WantLikesLike MeTargetArticlesHeartedAutomobileHurt MeCynicYou Hurt MeCold Hearted Author:John Candy
“So my wife said she read this article in a magazine and she said: "You know, maybe you're suffering from premature ejaculation." Yeah, does it look like I'm suffering? Those aren't tears on your belly.” KnowsLooksDoeSaidSufferingWifeTearsYeahMy WifeMagazinesArticlesBellyPrematureEjaculationPremature Ejaculation Author:Robert Schimmel