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Wife Quotes

“As a dad, you are the Vice President of the executive branch of parenting. It doesn't matter what your personality is like, you will always be Al Gore to your wife's Bill Clinton. She feels the pain and you are the annoying nerd telling them to turn off the lights.”

Feels Matter Light Pain Turns President Wife Like You Personality Dad Bills Clinton Vices Branches Executives Als Annoying Nerd Gore Vice President Turn Off Executive Branch

Author:Jim Gaffigan

“I don't know if I've ever written anything that's not a bill! I do write stories but I don't put a stamp on them. I wrote a story for my wife over Christmas and gave it to her as a present because she asked me to, but I don't put a stamp on things and send them to people.”

People Ifs Knows Writing Stories Wife Written Bills My Wife Stamps

Author:Channing Tatum

“Bill Clinton, talking about the need to financially empower wives and mothers in regressive countries, once remarked that women have 'the responsibility gene.' No one has that gene more markedly than his wife.”

Needs Country Mother Responsibility Talking Wife Bills Clinton Empowering Genes Wives And Mothers

Author:Tina Brown

“Former President Bill Clinton is on the program tonight. He says that while his wife runs for president, he would like to stay out of the limelight. Well, he's certainly come to the right place. He'll be fine here.”

Wells Running President Wife Fine Program Bills Clinton Former Tonight Right Place Limelight President Bill Clinton

Author:David Letterman

“The great thing about starting golf in your forties is that you can start golf in your forties. You can start other things in your forties but generally your wife makes you stop them, as Bill Clinton found out.”

Found Wife Bills Golf Clinton Starting Great Things Forty

Book:Thrown Under the Omnibus

Source: Thrown Under the Omnibus

“The Second Way in which a wife can be separated from her husband, while he continues to be faithful to his God and his priesthood, I have not revealed, except to a few persons in this Church; and a few have received it from Joseph the prophet as well as myself. If a woman can find a man holding the keys of the priesthood with higher power and authority than her husband, and he is disposed to take her he can do so, otherwise she has got to remain where she is... there is no need for a bill of divorcement... To recapitulate.”

Ifs Men Way Needs Wells Persons Can Do Church Wife Keys Higher Husband Authority Bills Faithful Prophet Priesthood Polygamy Being Faithful Higher Power

Author:Brigham Young

“Sarah lied about me. I never made the offer which she said I did. I will not advise you to break up your family - unless it were asked of me. Then I would council you to get a bill from your wife and marry a virtuous woman - and a new family but if you do not do it I shall never throw it in your teeth.”

Ifs Made Said Break Wife Offers Bills Teeth Our Family Virtuous Council Advise Lied Polygamy Virtuous Woman New Family

Author:Joseph Smith, Jr.

“This specter of the female politician, who abandons her family to neglect for the sake of passing bills in parliament, is just as complete an illusion of the masculine brain, as the other specter whom Sydney Smith laid by a joke,--the woman who would forsake an infant for a quadratic equation.”

Brain Wife Politician Jokes Illusion Female Bills Sake Passing Passings Abandon Neglect Equations Infant Masculine Parliament Forsake Sydney Quadratics Quadratic Equation

Author:Frances Power Cobbe

“You can be the smartest person in the world - which Bill Clinton is, and if he's not, his wife is - and care more than anybody else in the world - which he does, I don't doubt that for a minute. And you can care so much that you're willing to be dishonest - you can tell people one thing but do another because you really know it's for their own good. And you'll still screw it all up. Because the whole premise of what you're doing is wrong!”

People Ifs Knows World Persons Doe Stills Whole Care Doubt Wife One Thing Minutes Willing Bills Clinton Screws Premises

Author:Dave Barry

“Vanity Fair magazine reports that former President Clinton and Al Gore haven't spoken to each other since George W. Bush's inauguration. Not only that, Bill and his wife, Hillary, haven't spoken since Richard Nixon's inauguration.”

President Wife Havens Fairs Bills Clinton Magazines Former Vanity Reports Als Gore Inauguration President Clinton Vanity Fair

Author:Conan O'Brien

“A salesman called on my wife the other day and tried to sell her a freezer. You'll save a fortune on your food bills, he promised. I can't tell you how much you'll save. It'll be tremendous. Said my wife: I'm sure you're right, but we're already saving a fortune with our new car by not taking the bus. We're saving a fortune with our new washing machine by not sending out the laundry. We're saving a fortune with our new dishwasher by giving up the maid. The plain truth is that right now we just can't afford to save any more!”

Giving Said I Can Wife Car Right Now Truth Is Giving Up Machines Bills Sells Fortune My Wife Saving Bus Washing Salesman Maids Laundry New Car Dishwashers Freezer Washing Machines

Author:Joey Bishop

“Anyone who is friends with Bill Clinton shouldn't be telling their wife about it.”

Wife Bills Clinton

Author:Chelsea Handler