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Wife Quotes

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Wife Quotes

“I think my wife saw a picture of the rock group Journey, and they're kind of aging, and the one guy had dyed blonde hair with black roots, and... my idea was to get a little earring, I wanted to have a dangling earring.”

Thinking Kind Littles Ideas Wanted Guy Black Saws Wife Groups Journey Rocks Hair Roots Aging My Wife Blonde Earrings Blonde Hair

Author:Fred Willard

“When the soldier returns from the wars, even though he has white hair, he very soon finds a young wife. But a woman has only one summer; if she does not make hay while the sun shines, no one will afterwards have anything to say to her, and she spends her days consulting oracles that never send her a husband.”

Ifs Doe War Young White Sun Wife Hair Return Husband Summer Shining Soldier Consulting Oracles Hay Sun Shines White Hair Young Wife

Author:Aristophanes

“Because of the security reasons for one thing and, second, my wife doesn't like to have her hair blown about. Have you got another silly question?”

Reason Wife One Thing Security Hair My Wife Silly

Author:John Prescott

“I built a cannon out of ice, and wrapped myself in the funeral carpet which my husbands and wives had woven for me out of their own hair, and one of my wives was my gunner. I came back here, after many adventures, and once, when I'd been drinking, donated the funeral carpet to the national museum. When I was sober again, I asked for it back, but they claimed not to know what I was talking about.”

Knows Talking Wife Adventure Hair Husband Built Drinking My Wife Ice My Husband Museums Funeral Sober Carpet Woven Husband And Wife Cannons Gunners

Book:Magic for Beginners

Source: Magic for Beginners

“During an interview, former President George W. Bush discussed his painting hobby and said, 'Never paint your wife or your mother.' Then he added, 'Because it's almost impossible to get the paint out of their hair.'”

Said Mother President Wife Impossible Painting Hair Paint Former Interviews Hobbies President George W Bush

Author:Jimmy Fallon

“I'm around my kids every day. I'm regular. We're a regular family. My wife cooks, she washes clothes, I read books, I pump my own gas, I get my own hair cut.”

Book Kids My Own Cutting Wife Hair Clothes My Wife Cooks Gas Pumps Hair Cut

Author:Tracy Morgan

“Tis Lilith. Who? Adam's first wife is she. Beware the lure within her lovely tresses, The splendid sole adornment of her hair; When she succeeds therewith a youth to snare, Not soon again she frees him from her jesses.”

Firsts Women Wife Youth Hair Succeed Lovely Adam Sole Splendid Lure Snares Lilith Adornment Tresses

Book:Faust

Source: Faust

“When my hair is long enough to be cut, I go to my wife's hairdresser, and she generally pays for it.”

Long Enough Pay Cutting Wife Hair My Wife Hairdresser

Author:Richie Benaud

“Listen, if I heard shrieks and cries coming from a house and I ran in there and I found a great big broad shouldered whiskey soaked Joe weasel, dragging his wife about by the hair, and over here, two children are unconscious from his blows and kicks and another one screaming in terror, do you think I would apologize for being there? No! I'd knock 7 kinds of pork out of that old hog.”

Ifs Thinking Kind Children Two Bigs Found House Wife Heard Cry Hair Blow Terror Ran Kicks Unconscious Broads Apologizing Whiskey Being There Pork Hog Weasels

Author:Billy Sunday

“I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day. Now I can't get the cobwebs out of her hair.”

I Can Humor Funny Wife Hair Attics Cobwebs

Author:Tommy Cooper

“I've always had the hair of Lionel Ritchie since I was a boy, but the mullet sadly is a hairpiece. My wife won't let me rock that hairstyle.”

Boys Wife Rocks Hair Let Me My Wife Hairstyles Mullets

Author:Danny McBride

“As I never saw my father or my mother, and never saw any likeness of either of them (for their days were long before the days of photographs), my first fancies regarding what they were like, were unreasonably derived from their tombstones. The shape of the letters on my father's, gave me an odd idea that he was a square, stout, dark man, with curly black hair. From the character and turn of the inscription, "Also Georgiana Wife of the Above", I drew a childish conclusion that my mother was freckled and sickly.”

Source: Delphi Complete Works of Charles Dickens (Illustrated)

“Funny how a wife can spot a blonde hair at twenty yards, yet miss the garage doors.”

Wife Doors Missing Hair Twenties Spots Yards Blonde Garage Blonde Hair

Author:Corey Ford