“As a dad, you are the Vice President of the executive branch of parenting. It doesn't matter what your personality is like, you will always be Al Gore to your wife's Bill Clinton. She feels the pain and you are the annoying nerd telling them to turn off the lights.” FeelsMatterLightPainTurnsPresidentWifeLike YouPersonalityDadBillsClintonVicesBranchesExecutivesAlsAnnoyingNerdGoreVice PresidentTurn OffExecutive Branch Author:Jim Gaffigan
“I am tired of all these golfers who are happy with second place. The only one who will like you if you come in second place is your wife and your dog. And that is only if you have a good wife and a good dog.” IfsWifeDogLike YouTiredGolfGolfersGood WifeSecond PlaceGood Dog Author:Gary Player
“If I go out with a jacket and a pair of trousers that my wife doesn't like, you can bet your ass it ain't in my wardrobe the following day. I say that it gets lost in the sky.” IfsLostWifeSkyLike YouFollowingMy WifeAssPairsJacketsWardrobeTrousers Author:Ozzy Osbourne
“All moms need confidants who are in their shoes and can relate to what they're going through. You need a night out together to be who you are, and not feel like you have to be the career woman, wife and mommy--all at once. After all, we're not superwomen.” NeedsFeelsTogetherNightCareersWifeLike YouMomWho You AreShoesRelateBe Who You AreCareer WomenConfidantSuperwomanSuper Woman Author:Jessica Alba
“I remember during my lifetime I would meet women, and it was almost like God would say to me, 'Now, this woman here is not the one you are going to end up with, but she is going to be a lot like this woman; look at this woman, study this woman.' And when my wife showed up, He was like, 'You recognize her now?'” LooksEndsRememberStudyWifeLike YouLifetimeMy Wife Author:Alec Baldwin
“You meet people who say, "Oh, I'd like to do such-and-such, but I don't have the time." But it always seemed to me like you make the time. And if you have a wife or a job, if you have kids or whatever, you find a way. If you really want to do it, you make the time.” PeopleIfsWayWantKidsJobsWifeLike You Author:David Sedaris
“Home to me is when someone comes up to me and says, "Can I get a selfie?" No. It's where your wife and your family are. It's the emotional place where you feel like you're not away from it.” FeelsHomeWifeEmotionalLike YouCome UpOur Family Author:Steve Martin
“Daily there have to be many troubles and trials in every house, city, and country. No station in life is free of suffering and pain, both from your own, like your wife or children or household help or subjects, and from the outside, from your neighbors and all sorts of accidental trouble.” ChildrenCountryHelpingPainLife IsSufferingHouseCitiesWifeTroubleSubjectsLike YouNeighborTrialsStationsHouseholdSuffering And PainCity And Country Book:The sermon on the mount and the magnificat Source: The sermon on the mount and the magnificat
“You wanna hurt me? Go right ahead if it makes you feel any better. I'm an easy target. Yeah, you're right. I talk too much. I also listen too much. I could be a cold-hearted cynic like you, but I don't like to hurt people's feelings. Well, you think what you want about me. I'm not changing. I like me. My wife likes me. My customers like me. 'Cause I'm the real article. What you see is what you get.” PeopleIfsThinkingWantFeelsWellsRealFeelingsCausesEasyHurtToo MuchWifeLike YouColdYeahCustomersMy WifeWhat You WantLikesLike MeTargetArticlesHeartedAutomobileHurt MeCynicYou Hurt MeCold Hearted Author:John Candy
“My wife is like, You finally get your own TV show, you can have any kind of car you want and you get a darned truck. But my brother and I have the same kind of truck now.” WantKindShowsWifeCarBrotherTvsLike YouMy WifeMy BrotherTv ShowsTruck Author:Jeff Foxworthy
“One of the nicest compliments I would get very often on the street is people would say, 'I love you on 'The Good Wife.' I just can't tell whether I should like you or hate you!'” PeopleShouldHateWifeStreetsLove YouLike YouComplimentHate YouSay I Love YouGood Wife Author:Nathan Lane