“I was just interested in directing. So I just kept having a go at trying to write little scripts and get things together, and my wife just had a slip of the tongue and said, "Franz Kafka's It's A Wonderful Life" when she meant to say "Frank Capra's." There it is right there. That's a gag that we could make into something.” WritingTryingLittlesSaidTogetherWifeWonderfulScriptsMy WifeTongueSlipsFrankWonderful LifeGagsIt's A Wonderful Life Author:Peter Capaldi
“Trump is a little tone-deaf to the average American. He unveiled his slogan this week: 'Are you better off than you were four wives ago?'” LittlesFourWifeWeekTrumpAverageToneBetter OffDeafSlogans Author:Bill Maher
“Wives are good on paper, at least. until they turn into harpies with sharp claws and open check books. Then they're kind of frightening. And they put on all kinds of makeup and parade around the street with their shopping cart yelling "Sale on aisle seven!" at anyone who will listen. Their wooden clog sandals make a helluva racket on linoleum tile. Their plastic jewelry clatters like the bones of little children.” KindChildrenLittlesBookTurnsWifeStreetsPaperSevenBonesChecksAll KindsMakeupShoppingPlasticFrighteningJewelryParadesYellingClawsCartsAisleRacketSandalsTilesHarpiesShopping Carts Author:Rob Campbell
“Just short of my 40th birthday, I told my wife, Beth, I was going to build us a little weekend place in...well, in the uh, Southern Hemisphere. The deep Southern Hemisphere, actually. New Zealand, maybe. Or Argentina. Possibly Chile. She suggested medication.” WellsLittlesWifeMy WifeSouthernWeekendMedicationNew ZealandArgentinaChileHemisphereBeth40th Birthday Author:Patrick Symmes
“Doctors and lawyers must go to school for years and years, often with little sleep and with great sacrifice to their first wives.” YearsFirstsLittlesSchoolSleepWifeSacrificeDoctorsLawyerGreat Sacrifice Author:Roy Blount, Jr.
“God not only loves his people but delights in each one of us. He takes great pleasure in us. He's actually blessed in keeping and delivering us. I see this kind of parental pleasure in my wife, Gwen, whenever one of our grandchildren calls. Gwen lights up like a Christmas tree when she has one of our dear little ones on the line. Nothing can get her off the phone. Even if I told her the President was at our door, she'd shoo me away and keep talking. How could I ever accuse my heavenly Father of delighting in me less than I do in my own offspring?” PeopleIfsKindLittlesLightFatherPresidentLinesMy OwnPleasureTalkingWifeDoorsTreeBlessedDearPhonesDelightMy WifeHeavenlyGrandchildrenHeavenly FatherOnly LoveOffspringDeliveringParentalLight UpChristmas TreeKeep Talking Author:David Wilkerson
“There was a whole display set up of all the X-Men paraphernalia. My wife couldn't resist telling this 5-year-old boy that I was Wolverine. The little kid looked up at me and he was staring at me.” MenYearsLittlesWholeKidsBoysWifeMy WifeStaringDisplayLittle KidX Men Author:Hugh Jackman
“God, she's growing up, and I don't know when it happened, man. I used to buy her Minnie Mouse panties and little Winnie the Pooh underwear. I was helping my wife fold cloths. I picked up a pair of skimpy underwear. I looked at my wife and said: "When you gonna wear these for me?" She goes, "I can't. They're your daughter's." "Aaaaaaahhhhhh! No, No, No!" There was nothing to them! The how-to-wash tag was the biggest piece of cloth on there.” KnowsMenLittlesSaidI CanHelpingUsedGrowing UpPiecesWifeGrowingHappenedDaughterMy WifePairsMiceFoldsUnderwearTagYour DaughterPantiesMinnieMinnie Mouse Author:Bill Engvall
“Don't bring your sand toys to the park. That's another bad move. Because I go to the park, and I'm on the Vicodin and a little weed too - let's face it - and I go in there, and my wife's like, 'Bring the sand toys! Bring the sand toys!' And I know what happens every single time: I become sand toy repo man from the eight little kids that run off in nine different directions with my sand toys.” KnowsMenLittlesDifferentHappensRunningKidsFacesMovingWifeEightMy WifeNineParksSandWeedToysLittle KidDifferent DirectionsVicodinRepo Man Author:Al Madrigal
“Our whole intention was to make a record of songs that we grew up with and change them up a little bit, but we kind of stumbled on writing "Joseph's Lullaby." The irony is when I originally wrote the song, it was called "Mary's Lullaby." I wrote it from Mary's standpoint and it was in a higher key, a real falsetto, and it just wasn't right. One day, the producer's wife said, "Well, it's kind of odd that you're singing from Mary's perspective, being the guy. Why don't you do Joseph?” WritingWellsKindLittlesSaidRealWholeGuySongBitsRecordsWifePerspectiveKeysGrewHigherOne DayLittle BitGrew UpSingingIntentionProducersIronyOddMaryStandpointLullabyFalsetto Author:Bart Millard
“I had been in Chicago for 22 years, and my wife and I didn't want to see another Chicago winter. Its a wonderful town but the winters are brutal. My wife and I are both east coast people and we wanted to live someplace a little bit warmer but didn't want to live way down south. So Delaware seemed like a good compromise.” PeopleWayWantYearsLittlesWantedBitsWifeWonderfulLittle BitTownsSouthWinterMy WifeEastCompromiseChicagoBrutalCoastEast CoastDelaware Author:David Bromberg
“I used to turn to nature and animals a lot. And fishing. I spend time still with my Bible and the gospel music, and I still have to feed the animals! But my wife and daughter have brought me a world of perspective when I'm feeling just a little "extra important."” WorldLittlesStillsImportantFeelingsUsedTurnsAnimalWifePerspectiveDaughterMy WifeExtrasFishingEnd TimesSpend TimeGospel MusicNature And AnimalsWife And Daughter Author:Brandi Carlile
“The most likely person to kill you is your wife, but that probably won't happen. What probably will happen is a million little betrayals of varying degrees of pain, brought on by people you love, the only ones who really can hurt you.” PeopleLittlesPersonsHappensPainHurtMillionsWifeDegreesBetrayal Book:Bitch: In Praise of Difficult Women Source: Bitch: In Praise of Difficult Women
“My wife's brother has a little house on a small island in the Baltic Sea, and we go there at Christmas. The 30-minute crossing from the mainland to this island is the most terrifying cruise you'll ever take. They give you a barf bag when you walk on board.” GivingLittlesHouseWalksWifeSeaMinutesBrotherMy WifeBoardsIslandsBagsCrossingsCruise Author:Nick Frost
“McCain was introduced at the convention last night by his wife -- I won't say 'trophy wife' -- but she did $300,000 worth of clothes and jewelry on, no matter to the party of the little guy. But Cindy McCain talked about how his character, honor and integrity made him the exact kind of married man she was looking to pick up at a bar.” MenKindLittlesMadeMatterCharacterLastsNightGuyPartyWifeHonorIntegrityMarriedClothesPicksBarsConventionsLast NightJewelryTrophiesMccainMarried ManHonor And IntegrityCindyTrophy Wife Author:Bill Maher
“New York Mayor Rudy Giuliani fired his wife, Donna Hanover, as official hostess of the mayor's mansion last weekend. He's got his own idea of what a hostess should be. He wants a little cupcake.” WantShouldLittlesIdeasLastsWifeNew YorkOfficialsWeekendMayorsMansionsCupcakesHostessesRudy Author:Argus Hamilton