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Wife Quotes

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Wife Quotes

“Wives, girlfriends, fiancees - clean out your closets. I'm cleaning out my old bell bottoms. We can touch millions.”

Millions Wife Clean Bottom Girlfriend Bells Closets Cleaning Cleanliness Fiancee

Author:Deion Sanders

“Brother Cannon remarked that people wondered how many wives and children I had. He may inform them that I shall have wives and children by the million, and glory, and riches, and power, and dominion, and kingdom after kingdom, and reign triumphantly”

People May Children Millions Wife Brother Glory Riches Kingdoms Reign Dominion Polygamy Cannons

Book:Journal of Discourses

Source: Journal of Discourses

“What we know about Osama Bin Laden is this: he's worth $300 million, he has five wives and twenty-six kids -- and he hates Americans for their "excessive" lifestyle.”

Knows Kids Hate Millions Five Wife Six Twenties Lifestyle Bin Laden Osama Bin Laden

Author:David Letterman

“Since I learned the secret and started applying it to my life, my life has truly become magical. I think the kind of life that everybody dreams of is one I live on a day to day basis. I live in a four-and-a-half-million-dollar mansion. I have a wife to die for. I get to vacation in all the fabulous spots of the world. I've climbed mountains. I've explored. I've been on safaris. And all of this happened and continues to happen, because of knowing how to apply The Secret.”

Thinking World Kind Dream Happens Dies Secret Half Millions Knowing Four Wife Happened Mountain Bases Dollars Spots Vacation Day To Day Fabulous Million Dollars Mansions

Author:Jack Canfield

“As millions of women have done before me, I pulled domesticity over my head like a blanket and found I was still cold.”

Stills Done Found Millions Wife Cold Blanket Housework Domesticity

Book:A Window Over the Sink

Source: A Window Over the Sink

“John Kerry's wife Teresa Heinz is on the cover of Newsweek magazine this week and they said that if he is elected president, she will be the oldest first lady in American history. But that doesn't bother John Kerry, he said, 'To me, she looks like a million bucks'”

Ifs Firsts Looks Said President Millions Wife Week Magazines Bother American History They Said Bucks First Lady John Kerry Teresa

Author:Jay Leno

“John Kerry is busy trying to raise money right now for his campaign. It was reported today that Kerry's hoping to raise $80 million before the Democratic convention. That's a lot of money. Yeah, Kerry has two ways to raise the $80 million: soliciting Democratic donors and going through his wife's purse.”

Way Trying Two Today Millions Wife Right Now Raises Yeah Democratic Busy Campaigns Conventions Lots Of Money Two Ways Purses John Kerry Donors

Author:Conan O'Brien

“They had a profile of John Kerry on the news and they said his first wife was worth around $300 million and his second wife, his current wife, is worth around $700 million. So when John Kerry says he's going after the wealthy in this country, he's not just talking. He's doing it!”

Firsts Said Country Talking Millions Wife News Currents Wealthy They Said Profile John Kerry

Author:Jay Leno

“In his big victory speech last night, Senator Kerry said that he wanted to defeat George Bush and the 'economy of privilege.' Then he hugged his wife, Teresa, heir to the multi-million dollar Heinz food fortune.”

Said Bigs Wanted Lasts Night Millions Economy Wife Victory Speech Dollars Fortune Defeat Privilege Senators Last Night Million Dollars Heirs Teresa

Author:Jay Leno

“I used to be jealous; I'm not jealous anymore. And a miracle happened to me, because if you're jealous, it's a cancer, it's a plague on your spirit, it really is. And I actually cured jealousy in a very weird way - I cured it with mathematics. And I'm not a math person at all, but I've been with my wife for about seven years, so we have had sex probably, I'd like to think, like, 9 million times or, at least, 1,500. So, the way I figured it, if she goes out and screws some other guy once - I'm still winning.”

“Scientists believe that monkeys can be taught to think, lie and even play politics within their community. If we can just teach them to cheat on their wives we can save millions on congressional salaries.”

Ifs Thinking Believe Play Lying Community Teach Millions Wife Taught Scientist Cheat Monkeys Salary

Author:Jay Leno

“Johnny Carson is a comedian who is seen every night in millions of bedrooms all over America...and that's why his last wife left him.”

Lasts America Night Left Millions Wife Comedian Every Night Bedroom

Author:Dean Martin

“When we got married my wife told me I was one in a million. I found out she was right.”

Found Millions Wife Married My Wife One In A Million

Author:Rodney Dangerfield

“The most likely person to kill you is your wife, but that probably won't happen. What probably will happen is a million little betrayals of varying degrees of pain, brought on by people you love, the only ones who really can hurt you.”

People Littles Persons Happens Pain Hurt Millions Wife Degrees Betrayal

Book:Bitch: In Praise of Difficult Women

Source: Bitch: In Praise of Difficult Women