“When I meet a new person, something has to be a little off for me to consider them beautiful. It could be crooked teeth, or veins in their skin that are a little too visible, or a really dramatic lazy eye. The first guy I ever kissed had a water head.” FirstsLittlesPersonsEyeBeautifulGuyWaterSkinsTeethDramaticVisibleLazyVeinsCrookedCrooked TeethLazy Eyes Author:Amy Sedaris
“I failed first grade, which is my biggest problem. You always feel like a failure, like you're stupid.” FeelsFirstsProblemStupidLike YouGradesYou Re Stupid Author:Amy Sedaris
“I stayed in New York City for the first time, I'd always wanted to do that.” FirstsWantedCitiesNew YorkFirst TimeNew York City Author:Amy Sedaris
“I’ve named everything that I’ve ever owned. Real or inanimate, I have to give it a first and last name. Everything in my apartment comes alive at night.” GivingFirstsRealLastsNightNamesAliveApartmentFirsts And Lasts Author:Amy Sedaris
