“If you decide on having an alcoholic at your party, make sure it's a large gathering. This way, until the alcoholic begins removing their clothes or dangling the cat out the window, they can sort of blend in. An alcoholic at a small gathering is called an intervention.” IfsWayPartyClothesCatWindowDrinkingGatheringInterventionAlcoholismAlcoholics Author:Amy Sedaris
“Fire had an almost magical quality that suggested anything was possible. Early on, man even believed that fire was a god that had to be fed with animal sacrifices in order to burn brightly. Today we have evolved a long way from this ridiculous notion of a 'fire god' and now rightfully understand God to be a bearded being who lives amongst the clouds and hates Jews and homosexuals.” MenWayLongGodTodayHateOrderAnimalQualityFireSacrificeNotionCloudsJewRidiculousFedsHomosexualLong Way Author:Amy Sedaris
“As my guests leave even my most simple parties, I consistently hear the same thing: 'That was the best time I ever had,' and it's always me saying it. But I do know in my heart they all feel the same way, probably.” KnowsWayFeelsHeartSimplePartyMy HeartGuestsConsistentlyHospitalityBest Times Author:Amy Sedaris
“I'm not ambitious when it comes to my acting career. I'm not breaking down my agency's doors or sending out headshots. Even when I'm offered work, I always want small parts. When it comes to things that other people have written, I just don't know what I'm doing. I'm terrible at memorizing a script and reading lines. I get confused and I don't understand and it just looks fake to me. It's more difficult for me to be creative that way.” PeopleKnowsWayWantLooksReadingDifficultLinesActingCareersCreativeWrittenDoorsTerribleScriptsFakeAgencyConfusedAmbitiousBe CreativeBreaking DownSmall PartsMemorizingHeadshots Author:Amy Sedaris
“I love old cookbooks. I just got such a kick out of them, how the color would be way off or fake looking. The cook books now look so much like magazines, you'll never make food that looks like that. I'd rather see it the ugly way than they way they do it now.” WayLooksBookWould BeColorUglyMagazinesCooksFakeKicksCookbook Author:Amy Sedaris
“I like to be around entertaining people. Even if they're bored, and you're in a convalescent home, there's something entertaining about that, in a way.” PeopleIfsWayHomeBoredEntertaining Author:Amy Sedaris
“You think in a different way when you don't have any money. The joy of poverty is that you use your imagination to come up with stuff.” ThinkingWayDifferentUseJoyStuffImaginationPovertyCome UpDifferent Ways Author:Amy Sedaris
“They just expected it to you know... Paul, Steve and I could have hired our own publicist, if we wanted to, but I kind of liked the way it was more of a cult thing and those that liked it, liked it, you know what I mean?” IfsKnowsWayKindMeanWantedExpectedCultPublicists Author:Amy Sedaris
“If I know I have to memorize lines, I'm really gonna try to memorize lines. It's hard for me sometimes, because somebody wrote these words and you're trying really hard to get them the way they said it.” IfsKnowsWayTryingSaidSometimesHardLinesThey SaidTrying Really Hard Author:Amy Sedaris
