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Christina Enevoldsen Books

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“If you are trading silence or compliance for love, you are being cheated. When acceptance or love is withheld if you reveal secrets, the value of the relationship is just an illusion. Love cannot be earned, bought or traded–only freely given. You are worthy of love that doesn’t require you to protect your abuser or sacrifice yourself.”

Love Silence Relationship Sacrifice Respect Secrets Self Sacrifice Compliance Abuse Acceptance

Author:Christina Enevoldsen

“It’s common to reject or punish yourself when you’ve been rejected by others. When you experience disappointment from the way your family or others treat you, that’s the time to take special care of yourself. What are you doing to nurture yourself? What are you doing to protect yourself? Find a healthy way to express your pain.”

Pain Disappointment Punishment Rejection Self Care Nurturing Punishing

Author:Christina Enevoldsen

“The childhood sexual abuse taught me that my value came from sex. In adulthood, I was driven to have sex since I always felt worthless. I felt important and desired until it was over and then I felt like garbage—the same way I did after the abuse. I desperately needed to feel valued again, which led to more sex. My sex addiction only stopped when I believed that I’m valuable apart from anything I do.”

Addiction Value Rejection Child Abuse Worthless Sexual Abuse Low Self Esteem Child Sexual Abuse

Author:Christina Enevoldsen

“I believed I was too sensitive and weak. To “prove” I wasn’t a victim anymore, I moved closer to painful experiences rather than away from them. Remaining in harm’s way and exposing myself to more pain kept me in the victim role rather than moving me out of it.”

Pain Suffering Healing Weak Victim Harm Sensitive Victimization Belief System Victim Role

Author:Christina Enevoldsen

“The fear of abandonment forced me to comply as a child, but I’m not forced to comply anymore. The key people in my life did reject me for telling the truth about my abuse, but I’m not alone. Even if the consequence for telling the truth is rejection from everyone I know, that’s not the same death threat that it was when I was a child. I’m a self-sufficient adult and abandonment no longer means the end of my life.”

Source: The Rescued Soul: The Writing Journey for the Healing of Incest and Family Betrayal

“The introduction to horrors so young impressed on me just how helpless and vulnerable I was. Parents are supposed to empower their children to live without them but in my family, I wasn’t given permission to be my own person. I thought I needed them to live and then they abandoned me. It’s no wonder I felt so unempowered well into my adult years.”

Power Horror Independence Dependent Child Abuse Abandonment Child Sexual Abuse Unempowered

Author:Christina Enevoldsen

“I no longer look to my abusers with any expectation– of remorse, or apology or restitution or restoration or relationship. I’m at peace, accepting that they won’t and can’t help me out of the mess they created. But, I’m the best qualified for that job anyway and I’m happy with the job I’m doing.”

Source: The Rescued Soul: The Writing Journey for the Healing of Incest and Family Betrayal

“When I first started to remember specific memories of abuse, I felt like I had a storm cloud over me for about two or three days beforehand. When the memory finally surfaced, I felt like I was alone in a dark cave. I stayed in bed just thinking and crying and eating chocolate. I wrote in my healing journal and talked it out with a friend. I examined what I thought and how I felt and cried some more. It was agonizing. The more issues I faced, the stronger I got. It wasn’t a pleasant process, but I knew it would be over in a few days and I would feel alive again. With each memory, I recovered faster and I had longer and longer breaks in between them. Facing them made me stronger. I was able to see more and more of the truth without it overwhelming me. Even though the memories increased in intensity, it was easier to deal with them.”

Child Sexual Abuse Survivors Incest Traumatic Experiences Repressed Memories Abuse Survivor Recovered Memories Flashbacks

Book:The Rescued Soul: The Writing Journey for the Healing of Incest and Family Betrayal

Source: The Rescued Soul: The Writing Journey for the Healing of Incest and Family Betrayal

“I used substitutes for my real needs. I needed rest or relationship or recreation, but I gave myself food or sex or shopping. Since I wasn’t supplying what I really needed, I was never satisfied. I needed to know that I deserved to have my needs met and then I had to start asking myself what I really needed and provide those things.”

Love Needs Dependency Sex Addiction Emotional Needs Shopohlic

Book:The Rescued Soul: The Writing Journey for the Healing of Incest and Family Betrayal

Source: The Rescued Soul: The Writing Journey for the Healing of Incest and Family Betrayal

“In the minds of my parents, they are the victims; I am the abuser.”

Scapegoat Dysfunctional Families Reversal Abusive Parents Scapegoating Drama Triangle

Author:Christina Enevoldsen