Quotessence
Home / Authors / David Sedaris
David Sedaris

David Sedaris Quotes

Humorist

Filter quotes by topic

AllPeopleIfsWritingThinkingWantBookLooksKnowsWayFirstsHumorWellsSaidSometimesYearsFeelsStoriesPersonsKindMade

Famous David Sedaris Quotes

“It can take years. With the first draft, I just write everything. With the second draft, it becomes so depressing for me, because I realize that I was fooled into thinking I'd written the story. I hadn't-I had just typed for a long time. So then I have to carve out a story from the 25 or so pages. It's in there somewhere-but I have to find it. I'll then write a third, fourth, and fifth draft, and so on.”

ThinkingWritingYearsFirstsLongStoriesRealizingWrittenPagesLong TimeThirdsFourthDepressingFifthFooled
Author:David Sedaris
Create image

“Writing helped to have jobs that involved running around, pushing things like dish carts and wheelbarrows. It would be hard to sit at a desk all day, and then come to sit at another desk. Also, it helps to abandon hope. If I sit at my computer, determined to write a New Yorker story I won't get beyond the first sentence. It's better to put no pressure on it. What would happen if I followed the previous sentence with this one, I'll think. If the eighth draft is torture, the first should be fun. At least if you're writing humor.”

IfsThinkingShouldWritingFirstsHardHelpingStoriesHappensWould BeRunningJobsFunInvolvedComputerPressureDeterminedSentencesTorturePushingAbandonDishesDesksNew YorkersCartsNo PressureWheelbarrowsWriting Humor
Author:David Sedaris
Create image

“I was first published in the newspaper put out by School of The Art Institute of Chicago, where I was a student. I wince to read that story nowadays, but I published it with an odd photo I'd found in a junk shop, and at least I still like the picture. I had a few things in the school paper, and then I got published in a small literary magazine. I hoped I would one day get published in The New Yorker, but I never allowed myself to actually believe it. Getting published is one of those things that feels just as good as you'd hoped it would.”

FeelsFirstsBelieveArtStillsStoriesSchoolFoundStudentsOne DayPaperNewspapersMagazinesOddShopsChicagoJunkNew YorkersInstituteFeels JustWince
Author:David Sedaris
Create image

“As I searched the atlas for somewhere to run to, Hugh made a case for his old stomping grounds. His first suggestion was Beirut, where he went to nursery school. His family left there in the midsixties and moved to the Congo. After that, it was Ethiopia, and then Somalia, all fine places in his opinion. 'Let's save Africa and the Middle East for when I decide to quit living,' I said.”

FirstsMadeSaidRunningSchoolLeftOpinionCasesMiddleFineMovedEastQuittingMiddle EastSuggestionsCongoNurseryAtlasEthiopiaSomaliaBeirutStompingNursery School
Author:David Sedaris
Create image

“I attributed their behavior to the fact that they didn't have a TV, but television didn't teach you everything. Asking for candy on Halloween was called trick-or-treating, but asking for candy on November first was called begging, and it made people uncomfortable. This was one of the things you were supposed to learn simply by being alive, and it angered me that the Tomkeys did not understand it.”

PeopleFirstsMadeFactsTeachAliveTelevisionTvsBehaviorAskingTricksUncomfortableHalloweenCandyBeggingNovember
Author:David Sedaris
Create image

“States vote to take away my marriage rights, and even though I don't want to get married, it tends to hurt my feelings. I guess what bugs me is that it was put to a vote in the first place. If you don't want to marry a homosexual, then don't. But what gives you the right to weigh in on your neighbor's options? It's like voting whether or not redheads should be allowed to celebrate Christmas.”

IfsWantGivingShouldFirstsStatesFeelingsHurtRightsMarriedVoteNeighborCelebrateVotingHomosexualBugsHurt My Feelings
Book:Let's Explore Diabetes With Owls
Create image