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“I finished kindergarten and 3 grades in Russia. I don't really remember anyone talking about religion back there. Over here kids start asking me stupid shit right away... like ARE YOU JEWISH. ARE YOUR PARENTS RICH... obviously not. Now, I have a question for YOU. Are those things supposed to go together somehow? Will you give me lots of money if I give you a little part of penis perhaps? How does that whole Making money out of nothing scheme work exactly? I've been trying to figure this shit out for 20+ years now. Mnuchin promised people like me 1200 bucks a month ago. I still didn't get shit. WTF. Im pretty sure he said "Immediately" TWO MONTHS ago.”

“People keep telling me to read the Bible this year for some reason. REAAAAAD the Bible. Alright. Well. Let's start with Genesis. What's that about? What strikes Me about Genesis, is One man, one woman. They disobey God. then they have to work. Now what do we have in the real world? What do we have? Well we have lots of slutty chicks, usually. Then some fools chasing that used up pussy. And you STILL have to work, huh? Well, you should know that you'll have to pay me a lot of money for me to buy enough pussy to compensate for all this anxiety and stress caused by uhh... shall we call it FREEDOM? Perhaps the greatest words I found recently are by G. Hardin - Natural Selection Favors the Forces of Psychological denial. Boom. Read that guy instead. that does explain a lot, doesn't it?”

“I guess I studied a little bit of economics back in my day. Then I read somewhere that economics is a form of brain damage. the more I thought about it the more, it made sense. Any theory of economics that does not include things such as Value, and Effort and the Phenomenon of Unequal distribution of pussy is bullshit. For instance, if you're gonna offer me a job, and I cannot afford to spend some time with a decent looking girl in Vegas once a month, for instance, I think you're not paying me enough.”

“You want a story? Fine I'll tell you a story. a true story. Back in 2009. A lot of things were going wrong in 2009… I would go to a room to talk to lawyers about various employers not paying their people enough money. Different thoughts would run through my head. For instance, why, instead of just paying people their wages (it’s not that hard, minimum wage plus overtime where applicable) is this business paying a ridiculous lawyer to come and try to bullshit me… or something. A few years later a different thought would pop in my mind from time to time. Why would the United states federal government hire a hardcore alcoholic like myself (thanks to the University of Michigan) to enforce these Labor laws and run around with a badge and stuff. I’m pretty sure I wasn’t the only one.”

“My sponsor is an ex-Navy guy. Buys me lunch on Christmas. I tell him, as long as I am drinking and I have money, things seem to be going well. Now, you just replace “am drinking” with “have oil” there you have the U.S. economy. When I don’t drink for a while… I get a little depressed and anti-Semitic. I tell him, as soon as the United States stops fucking up foreign democracies and stealing their oil, I’ll stop drinking. Unfortunately, looks like neither miracle is going to happen…”