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Dmitry Dyatlov Biography

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“The joy of being a REAL alcoholic, is that you just want booze, and nothing else. You've lost faith in God, and people (except Mom maybe), and government, and you know deep in your heart that all you really want to do is drink on the beach somewhere, all day long, forever. even after all the stupid steps. All 12 of them, thoroughly, you know you just want a goddamn beer. Maybe they'll put THAT in the next edition big book.”

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“I don't hear it much anymore... but... I guess people do sometimes ask... well why don't you go back to Russia.... Well I'm sorry I can't help it I guess Im stuck in this shithole for a while. My aunt married some Jew and then we won a "lottery" and my daddy (pussy little bitch) decided to come to this shithole and make me go to school with fucked up Jews and learn english and shit. Then I became an alcoholic in college. Then I worked for the government a bit and that REALLY fucked me up. Now I'm just waiting for them to catch up, make some amends and pass the Universal Basic Income so I can go back to drinking. Rigorous honesty, every single day.”

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“When I was a little boy and we were leaving Russia for some reason... my parents told me to say that we're moving to Belarus. Then we came to America and my parents like to say that we're FROM Belarus... I think so they don't hate us for being Russian. I guess we might actually be from Belarus, but I honestly don't know much about it. As they say, little lies become big lies, so most days, I like to think I'm from Paris.”

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“So it's 2019. I'm gonna say the right thing to do is for the US to declare bankruptcy (Trump can do it… done it before…), and dismantle the criminal state of Israel as it exists today. Unfortunately, politicians are so full of shit and AIPAC money, and the economy is so addicted to war, and the US population is so fucking stupid... that we’ll probably have to go and try to fuck up another two or three countries before moving on to a decent, honest life.”

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“I finished kindergarten and 3 grades in Russia. I don't really remember anyone talking about religion back there. Over here kids start asking me stupid shit right away... like ARE YOU JEWISH. ARE YOUR PARENTS RICH... obviously not. Now, I have a question for YOU. Are those things supposed to go together somehow? Will you give me lots of money if I give you a little part of penis perhaps? How does that whole Making money out of nothing scheme work exactly? I've been trying to figure this shit out for 20+ years now. Mnuchin promised people like me 1200 bucks a month ago. I still didn't get shit. WTF. Im pretty sure he said "Immediately" TWO MONTHS ago.”

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“Jordan B. Peterson says self-esteem doesn’t exist… and that SE training mostly results in narcissism. Jack Canfield says he wrote his first book about it. And guess what? They’ve BOTH been to Harvard! What are we to do in this confusing world? I started going to AA meetings and people there tell you to find a loving God… and then to get a job at the Kroger… Something’s wrong with this picture. If self-esteem exists, and I pray to God that it does, I cannot possibly find a job that will pay me enough money without undermining the dignity of my work, after all this Spirituality, and Sobriety, and Self Esteem & Therapy I've accumulated.... don't make me laugh. And I’m a bright guy, too. Officially.”

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“Eventually... for me by the time you're 25 or so, you just start running out of shit to do. Books to read... people to meet. I was too chicken to be an "entrepreneur" in college and I wish that back then someone told me... stressed to me, that if you score above a certain percentile on the SAT.... you just won't be running into too many people... who have the credibility to tell you what to do. And they say I can't Drink anymore, either. So now... what?”

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“We had a class called Theory of Knowledge, taught by a Catholic family man we later found out was strongly attracted to little boys… so I guess the point of the class was you don’t know shit. The past few years, I found out that there’s Neurogenesis, which means we *do* make new brain cells. And I found out about Epigenetics, which basically means Lamarck was more right than Darwin… so that does away with a lot of shit I still remember from science classes from not too long ago. I read books that show the Jews did 911 (not Osama) and a guy named McPherson keeps telling us that we’re all gonna die in a few years anyway. Make each day count…”

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“I had this idea that if you wait long enough, someone will definitely do something stupid that you can take advantage of later… and someone says, hey why don’t you get married. And I say, nah, I fucked married chicks before, It’s not that great. yeah, I guess I still think about the girls... those girls I wish I dated... high school, college girls... man I guess I loved them all to some extent, maybe. How do you decide. They’re all the same, aren’t they? And then I started reading all that feminist pro-infidelity shit and how people get bored with their marriages after 5 to 7 years or so. And my parents always had a horrible marriage. I figure maybe someday I’ll be the guy they all have affairs with, you know? When they’re tired of the bullshit, and they know that love’s a big fat joke. And a cold beer never broke my heart.”

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“After 15 years in America, I learned just two things for sure about America. One, they give you three meals a day in jail, no exceptions. Two, the only real way to make a living in this place is to be a bullshit artist. After 20+ years in America including 8 years of AA meetings, I decided that I finally have an American Dream. My american dream is to drink beer all day and host overtalkers anonymous meetings. Please vote for Andrew Yang.”

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“People keep telling me to read the Bible this year for some reason. REAAAAAD the Bible. Alright. Well. Let's start with Genesis. What's that about? What strikes Me about Genesis, is One man, one woman. They disobey God. then they have to work. Now what do we have in the real world? What do we have? Well we have lots of slutty chicks, usually. Then some fools chasing that used up pussy. And you STILL have to work, huh? Well, you should know that you'll have to pay me a lot of money for me to buy enough pussy to compensate for all this anxiety and stress caused by uhh... shall we call it FREEDOM? Perhaps the greatest words I found recently are by G. Hardin - Natural Selection Favors the Forces of Psychological denial. Boom. Read that guy instead. that does explain a lot, doesn't it?”

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“How do you know... how do you know anything... US officials are making Maduro sounds like a corrupt, evil dictator... almost like a Stalin! Then the alternative voices (Thank God) are saying well they seem to like Maduro just fine over there... and since there must be nothing else to do in the world, US is just playing the old game of 'stop hitting yourself' let's do sanctions, and freeze your assets, and then... THEN LOOK MADURO'S STARVING HIS PEOPLE! Umm. Ya... no. I guess it really doesn't take a lotta brain to be a diplomat.”

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