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Famous Henry Cloud Quotes

“Many people will not be honest because they fear loss of intimacy and togetherness. In reality, honesty brings people closer together, for it will strengthen their identities. The more you realize your separate identities, the closer you can become. Telling loved ones what is really on your mind and telling others what you really think is the foundation of love.”

RelationshipsHonestyIdentityTrustBoundariesIntimacyFriendshipsHealthy Relationships
Book:Changes That Heal: How to Understand the Past to Ensure a Healthier Future
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“If you have never questioned set boundaries, or experienced conflict with your family members, you may not have an adult-to-adult connection with your family. If you have no other “best friends” than your family, you need to take a close look at those relationships. You may be afraid of becoming an autonomous adult.”

IndependenceBoundaries
Book:Boundaries: When to Say Yes, How to Say No to Take Control of Your Life
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“Anger tells us that our boundaries have been violated. ... However, as with all emotions, anger doesn't understand time. Anger doesn't dissipate automatically if the danger occurred two minutes ago—or twenty years ago! It has to be worked through appropriately. Otherwise, anger simply lives inside the heart. This is why individuals with injured boundaries often are shocked by the rage they feel inside when they begin setting limits. This is generally not 'new anger'—it's 'old anger.' It's often years of nos that were never voiced, never respected, and never listened to. The protests against all the evil and violation of our souls sit inside us, waiting to tell their truths.”

PsychologySelf HelpEmotionsAngerBoundariesSelf Care
Book:Boundaries: When to Say Yes, How to Say No to Take Control of Your Life
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“Boundary construction is most evident in three-year-olds. By this time, they should have mastered the following tasks: 1. The ability to be emotionally attached to others, yet without giving up a sense of self and one‘s freedom to be apart, 2. The ability to say appropriate no's to others without fear of loss of love, 3. The ability to take appropriate no's from others without withdrawing emotionally. Noting these tasks, a friend said half-joking, "They need to learn this by age three? How about by fourty-three?" Yes, these are tall orders but boundary development is essential in the early years of life.”

PsychologyBoundariesMental IllnessAttachmentAbandonmentChild DevelopmentSecurity BlanketPatenting
Book:Boundaries: When to Say Yes, How to Say No to Take Control of Your Life
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“Self-centered people often get angry when someone tells them no. Stan said yes out of fear that he would lose love and that other people would get angry at him. These false motives and others keep us from setting boundaries:”

BoundariesSelf CenteredLoss Of LovePassivitySubmissiveSelf CenterednessControlling ParentsBoundaries QuotesControlling OthersControlling PeopleFear Of AbandonmentSelf Centered PeopleBoundary IssuesConfrontationalSubmittingRule By FearBoundarylessSelf Centered Man
Book:Boundaries: When to Say Yes, How to Say No to Take Control of Your Life
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“It is extremely important to be able to make negative assertions. We must be able to say what is ‘not me’ in order to have a ‘me’. What we like has no meaning unless we know what we don’t like. Our yes has no meaning if we never say no. My chosen profession has no passion if ‘just anyone would do’. Our opinions and thoughts mean very little if there is nothing we disagree with.”

ConflictNegativeBoundariesDisagreementSaying NoSaying YesAssertivenessAgreeing
Book:Changes That Heal: How to Understand the Past to Ensure a Healthier Future
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