Home / Authors / Janet Evanovich

Janet Evanovich Quotes

Writer

Janet Evanovich, born on April 22, 1943, is an American renowned author. Her works are known for their humor, suspense, and crime elements, and are highly favored by readers.

Filter quotes by topic

All Said Rangers Knows Ifs Thinking Want Men Car Looks Stephanie Plum Grandma Needs Giving People Firsts Two Years Eye Janet Evanovich Babe

Famous Janet Evanovich Quotes

“It's not a nice thing to send a penis to a woman. It's disrespectful.”

Humor Nice Woman Anatomy Disrespectful Penis Genitalia Stephanie Plum Janet Evanovich Dismemberment

Book:Two for the Dough

Source: Two for the Dough

“It wouldn't kill you to flirt a little, so I don't remember this assignment as totally sucking. I'm babysitting a guy who thinks he's a leprechaun, and I'm rescuing a has-been horse. The least you could do I grab my ass once in a while.”

Flirting Diesel Stephanie Plum

Book:Plum Lucky

Source: Plum Lucky

“Ranger was grinning. "Somebody beat the shit out of this guy before he got shot." "That would be me."I said. "Babe,"Ranger said, the grin widening.”

Stephanie Plum Janet Evanovich Ranger

Book:To the Nines

Source: To the Nines

“Ranger was definitely wow. He stood half a head taller than me. He was perfectly toned muscle, and he had classic Latino good looks. He always smelled great. He dressed only in black. His eyes were dark. His hair was dark. His life was dark. Ranger had lots of secrets.”

Stephanie Plum Janet Evanovich Ranger Twelve Sharp

Book:Twelve sharp

Source: Twelve sharp

“As much as I disliked Eddie Kuntz, I could sort of identify with a man who got a stiffie over banana cream pie.”

Humor Pie Identify Erection Banana Stephanie Plum Janet Evanovich Stiffy

Book:Four to Score

Source: Four to Score

“One minute I was having a day like any other , and then Whack an this guy didn’t have no head“ Lula Finger Lickin 15”

Luka Stephanie Plum Janet Evanovich Finger Lickin Fifteen

Book:Finger Lickin' Fifteen

Source: Finger Lickin' Fifteen

“What time is it?" Lula asked. "I might need a doughnut. Is it doughnut time?" "I'm thinking about eating healthier," I said. "More vegetables and fewer doughnuts." "What's that about?" "I don't know. It just came over me." "It's a bad idea. What do I look like, Mr. Green Jeans? How would it sound if I said it's vegetable time? People would think I was a nut. Nobody gets a craving for a vegetable. And I'm the one on the diet. What am I gonna do with one carrot or one asparagus? They are not mood enhancers, if you see what I'm saying." "I see what you're saying, but there aren't any doughnuts between here and Ernie's house." "I guess I could wait. And maybe you're right about the healthy eating. I'm gonna get a carrot cake doughnut.”

Humor Stephanie Plum Janet Evanovich Lula Stephine Plum Sizzling Sixteen

Book:Sizzling Sixteen

Source: Sizzling Sixteen

“Honey, Half the women in NJ have sold him their cannolli -Conie to Stephanie about Joe Morelli (One for the money)”

Stephanie Plum Janet Evanovich

Book:One for the Money

Source: One for the Money

“My professional aspirations were simple - I wanted to be an intergalactic princess.”

Wanted Simple Aspiration Princess Stephanie Plum

Book:Seven Up: A Stephanie Plum Novel

Source: Seven Up: A Stephanie Plum Novel

“These are desparate times." - Stephanie Plum”

Plums Stephanie Plum

Author:Janet Evanovich

“It was Lorraine in her nightie and Mo in his cap. They'd just settled their brains for a long winter's nap in front of the television. When out in the lot there arose such a clatter, they sprang from their recliners to see what was the matter. Away to the window they flew like a flash, tore open the blinds and threw up the sash. And what to their wondering eyes should appear, but Stephanie Plum and yet another of her cars burning front to rear.”

Should Long Matter Eye Brain Wonder Car Fronts Television Window Winter Burning Flash Caps Flew Naps Plums Stephanie Plum Lorraine Recliners

Author:Janet Evanovich

“Oh good. I love being bait for a homicidal mutilator." Stephanie Plum”

Bait Plums Homicidal Stephanie Plum

Author:Janet Evanovich

“Men!" I said. "You all a bunch of chauvinist morons" Stephanie Plum - Ten Big Ones”

Men Said Bigs Ten Bunch Moron Plums Stephanie Plum

Author:Janet Evanovich

“I ran three miles, staggered into the lobby, and took the elevator back to my apartment. No point to overdoing this exercise junk. --Stephanie Plum”

Three Exercise Miles Ran Apartment No Point Junk Elevators Plums Stephanie Plum

Book:Stephanie Plum One, Two, Three: One for the Money, Two for the Dough, Three to Get Deadly

Source: Stephanie Plum One, Two, Three: One for the Money, Two for the Dough, Three to Get Deadly

“Thinking very often resembles napping, but the intent is different. --Stephanie Plum”

Thinking Different Plums Stephanie Plum

Author:Janet Evanovich

“I have bad car juju." -Stephanie Plum”

Car Plums Stephanie Plum Juju

Author:Janet Evanovich

“I almost never shoot people.”

People Stephanie Plum

Book:More Plums in One: Four to Score, High Five, and Hot Six

Source: More Plums in One: Four to Score, High Five, and Hot Six

“You deserved to get run over. And besides, I barely tapped you. The only reason you broke your leg was because you panicked and tripped over your own feet.”

Reason Running Feet Legs Broke Stephanie Plum

Book:Stephanie Plum One, Two, Three: One for the Money, Two for the Dough, Three to Get Deadly

Source: Stephanie Plum One, Two, Three: One for the Money, Two for the Dough, Three to Get Deadly

“It wasn't exactly that Lula was fat. It was more that she was too short for her weight." - Stephanie Plum”

Weight Fats Too Short Plums Stephanie Plum

Author:Janet Evanovich

“In spite of all the sparring that went on between us, I sort of liked Morelli. Good judgment told me to stand clear of him, but then I've never been a slave to good judgment.”

Clear Judgment Slave Spite Good Judgment Sparring Stephanie Plum

Book:Two For The Dough: A Stephanie Plum Novel

Source: Two For The Dough: A Stephanie Plum Novel

“[Stephanie Plum]Jeez. No True Love" [Grandma Mazur] There's always been true love, but in my day, you either talked yourself into thinking you had it, or you talked yourself into thinking you didn't need it.”

Thinking Needs Grandma Plums Stephanie Plum Grandma Mazur

Author:Janet Evanovich

“Last time you called me late at night you were naked and chained to your shower curtain rod. I hope this isn't going to be disappointing.”

Lasts Night Late Naked Showers Last Time Curtains Disappointing Chained Stephanie Plum Shower Curtains

Book:More Plums in One: Four to Score, High Five, and Hot Six

Source: More Plums in One: Four to Score, High Five, and Hot Six

About the Author

Born: April 22, 1943
Known for: Writer
Quotes: 378

Books & Sources

Stephanie Plum One, Two, Three: One for the Money, Two for the Dough, Three to Get DeadlyRelated source material

More Plums in One: Four to Score, High Five, and Hot SixRelated source material

Hard Eight: A Stephanie Plum NovelRelated source material

To the NinesRelated source material

High FiveRelated source material

Twelve sharpRelated source material

Sizzling SixteenRelated source material

Eleven on TopRelated source material

Fearless Fourteen: A Stephanie Plum NovelRelated source material

Four to ScoreRelated source material

Similar Authors

Byron DafoeBrowse related quotes
Bill StruthBrowse related quotes
Sterling GatesBrowse related quotes
John FlanaganBrowse related quotes
Mark HateleyBrowse related quotes
Graham RobertsBrowse related quotes
Sarah Rees BrennanBrowse related quotes
Julia QuinnBrowse related quotes
Clayton MooreBrowse related quotes
Alan MulleryBrowse related quotes