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Janet Evanovich

Janet Evanovich Quotes

Writer

Janet Evanovich, born on April 22, 1943, is an American renowned author. Her works are known for their humor, suspense, and crime elements, and are highly favored by readers.

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All Said Rangers Knows Ifs Thinking Want Men Car Looks Stephanie Plum Grandma Needs Giving People Firsts Two Years Eye Janet Evanovich Babe

Famous Janet Evanovich Quotes

“I went to the door, and Gary tried hard not to notice I was blue. He looked at his feet, and he looked above my head, and he cleared his throat. It's okay,' I said. 'I know I'm blue.' It caught me by surprise,' he said. 'I didn't want to seem rude.”

Knows Want Said Hard Seems Doors Feet Okay Blue Surprise Caught Throat Rude Gary

Author:Janet Evanovich

“Is there anything else you need from me?" Ranger asked. "Not right now." "There will come a time," Ranger said. "Let me know when." And he disconnected. I opened the freezer and stuck my head in to cool off. If there'd been any more innuendo in that conversation, I could have fried an egg on my forehead.”

Ifs Knows Needs Said Right Now Conversation Let Me Stuck Eggs Foreheads Disconnected Rangers Innuendo Freezer

Book:Fearless Fourteen: A Stephanie Plum Novel

Source: Fearless Fourteen: A Stephanie Plum Novel

“Has it ever occurred to you that you might be delusional?' That's what the psychiatrist said, but I think he's wrong. There's an evil flying pizza out there, and it's got Brenda's name on it.”

Thinking Said Might Evil Names Flying Pizza Psychiatrist Delusional

Book:Fearless Fourteen: A Stephanie Plum Novel

Source: Fearless Fourteen: A Stephanie Plum Novel

“Babe,' Ranger said. 'Do something with her.' And he disconnected. I called Ranger back. 'No,' I said. 'And I need information on Jelly Kantner. His apartment got blown up, and I need to find him.' And I should do this why?' Because you like me.' There was a full beat of silence. 'I do,' Ranger said. 'I like you a lot. Sometimes I'm not sure why. Give me a couple minutes.”

Needs Giving Should Said Sometimes Silence Minutes Information Like You Couple Beats Give Me Like Me Not Sure Apartment Babe Disconnected Rangers Jelly I Like You

Author:Janet Evanovich

“Omigod,' I said on a sudden flash of sleep-deprived insight. 'You're the big bad wolf.' There are some similarities.”

Said Bigs Sleep Insight Flash Deprived Similarity Sleep Deprived

Book:Twelve sharp

Source: Twelve sharp

“I see you looking at my cookies,' my father said to Morelli. 'Don't even think about it. Go get your own cookies.”

Thinking Said Father Cookies

Book:Twelve sharp

Source: Twelve sharp

“Fine. Let Ranger get someone else. Trust me, you don't want to be out looking for a parking place on Sloane in the middle of the night." I won't have to look for a parking place. Tank's picking me up. Your working with a guy name Tank? He's big. Jesus, Morelli said. I had to fall in love with a woman who works with a guy named Tank. You love me? Of course i love you. I just don't want to marry you.”

Want Looks Said Bigs Night Guy Fall Courses Jesus Names Middle Love You Fine Falling In Love Trust Me Tanks Parking Middle Of The Night Rangers

Book:High Five

Source: High Five

“Stephanie,' Valerie said. 'She's going to have a baby, and she's getting married.' My father was confused. He looked around the room. No Joe. No Ranger. His eyes locked on Diesel. 'Not the psycho,' he said. Diesel blew out a sigh. My father turned to my mother. 'Get me the carving knife. Make sure it's sharp.”

Said Eye Mother Father Rooms Baby Married Confused His Eyes Knives Locked Sigh Getting Married Psycho Rangers Diesel Carving

Author:Janet Evanovich

“Good thing he's dead," Lula said, "or that would have hurt like the devil.”

Said Hurt Devil Good Things

Book:More Plums in One: Four to Score, High Five, and Hot Six

Source: More Plums in One: Four to Score, High Five, and Hot Six

“you see what I'm saying?" Mooner said. "Something else always comes along. You go to jail, you don't have to worry about anything. No rent to pay. No food bill to sweat. Free dental plan. And that's worth something, dude.You don't wnat to stick your nose up at free dental.”

Said Pay Worry Plans Bills Sticks Noses Jail Sweat Dental

Book:Hot Six: A Stephanie Plum Novel

Source: Hot Six: A Stephanie Plum Novel

“You know what this is?" Lula said. "This here's plane rage." Plane rage isn't allowed. It got taken off the allowed activities list along with eating. If you make a scene they'll hual you off in leg irons." Stephanie said. I'm tired of being stapped in here, too," Lula said. "This seat belt's too tight and it's giving me gas." Anything else?" There's no movie.”

Ifs Knows Giving Said Taken Scene Activity Eating Tired Legs Rage Lists Planes Seats Gas Iron Belts I'm Tired Seat Belts

Book:To the Nines

Source: To the Nines

“Men!" I said. "You all a bunch of chauvinist morons" Stephanie Plum - Ten Big Ones”

Men Said Bigs Ten Bunch Moron Plums Stephanie Plum

Author:Janet Evanovich

“Give me the gun." Ranger said. I extracted the gun from my pants and handed it over. Ranger held the gun in the pulm of his hand and smiled. "It's warm," he said. He put the gun in the glove compartment and plugged the key into the ignition. Am I fired?" No. Any women who can heat up a gun like that is worth keeping around.”

Giving Said Hands Keys Gun Give Me Warm Heat Pants Gloves Rangers

Author:Janet Evanovich

“That was close,"he said, helping himself to coffee. Yeah, you almost opened the door to Morelli." I wasn't talking about Morelli. I was talking about us." That too," I said. Ranger sliced a bagel and looked for the toaster. It's broken,"I told him. He truned the boiler on and slid the bagel into the oven. That's surprisingly domestic for a man of mystery," I said to him. He looked at me over the rim of his coffee mug. "I like things hot.”

Men Said Helping Talking Doors Mystery Broken Hot Yeah Coffee Rangers Ovens Rims Mug Toasters Bagels Boiler Coffee Mug

Author:Janet Evanovich

“The dancers finished thier set, and one immediately strolled over to our table and straddled Ranger. Want a private party?" she asked. Not tonight," Ranger said. He handed her a twenty, and she left. What about the cat-feeding theory?" I asked him. Out the window.”

Want Said Left Party Theory Cat Window Twenties Tables Finished Dancer Tonight Feeding Rangers

Book:Lean Mean Thirteen

Source: Lean Mean Thirteen

“Mooner was walking around laying his hands on the cars, divining karma. "this is it", he said, standing by a small khaki-colored jeep."this car has protective qualities" You mean like a guardian angel?" I mean, like, it has seatbelts”

Mean Said Hands Quality Car Walking Angel Standing Karma Guardian Protective Guardian Angel Jeeps

Book:More Plums in One: Four to Score, High Five, and Hot Six

Source: More Plums in One: Four to Score, High Five, and Hot Six

“I don't have a lot of domestic instincts," Ranger said to me, his attention fixing on the unidentifiable glob in my hair, "but I have a real strong urge to take you home and hose you down." I went dry mouth. Connie bit into her lower lip, and Lula fanned herself with a file.”

Said Real Home Strong Bits Attention Hair Mouths Instinct Lips Dry Urges Files Fixing Rangers

Author:Janet Evanovich

“Babe," Ranger said. "You're looking a little strung out. Is there anything I should know?" I'm on a sugar withdrawal. I've given up desert and it's all I can think about." That had been true five minutes ago. Now that Ranger was standng in front of me I was thinking a cupcake wasn't what I actually needed. Maybe I can help you get your mind off doughnuts," Ranger said. My mouth dropped open, and I think some drool might have dribbled out.”

Thinking Knows Should Mind Littles Said I Can Helping Might Given Five Minutes Fronts Needed Mouths Desert Sugar Five Minutes Given Up Babe Withdrawal Rangers Doughnut Cupcakes

Author:Janet Evanovich

“Ranger locked eyes with me. "Please," he said. Tank and Hal were goggle-eyed. They weren't used to "please." I wasn't used to it either. But I liked it. Okay," I said. "Be careful. He's insane.”

Said Eye Used Please Okay Careful Insane Be Careful Locked Tanks Rangers

Book:Eleven on Top

Source: Eleven on Top

“Ranger is an unusual name," she managed. "Is it a nickname?" It's a street name," Ranger said. "I was a Ranger in the army." I heard about them Rangers on TV," Grandma said. "I heard they get dogs pregnant." My father's mouth dropped open and a piece of ham fell out. My mother froze, her fork poised in midair. That's sort of a joke," I told Grandma. "Rangers don't get dogs pregnant in real life." I looked at Ranger for corroboration and got another smile.”

Source: Three Plums In One: One for the Money, Two for the Dough, Three to Get Deadly

“She'll be back," Ranger said. "But not tonight." [Stephanie] "How'd you get her to leave?" "Told her I was gonna spend the next twelve hours ruining you for all other men, and so she might as well go home." I could feel the heat rush to my face. Ranger gave me the wolf smile. "I lied about it being tonight," he said.”

Men Feels Wells Said Home Might Faces Next Hours Heat Tonight Twelve Lied Rangers

Author:Janet Evanovich

“The elevator doors opened, and Ranger stepped out and spied Tank stretched out on the carpet. "Fainted," I said. Ranger walked to Tank and stood hands on hips, staring down at him. "Tank doesn't faint. I've been in firefights with him. He's a rock." "Well, the rock fainted.”

Wells Said Hands Doors Rocks Hips Staring Carpet Tanks Elevators Rangers Hands On Hips

Book:Fearless Fourteen: A Stephanie Plum Novel

Source: Fearless Fourteen: A Stephanie Plum Novel

“You fainted," I told Tank. "I did not," Tank said. "That's a lie.”

Said Lying Tanks

Book:Fearless Fourteen: A Stephanie Plum Novel

Source: Fearless Fourteen: A Stephanie Plum Novel

“Morelli smiled. "It could have been Jenny Ragucci. That makes much more sense. I had good luck with sluts." I looked over at him. All in the past," Morelli said. "I'm a cupcake man now." Whoa, dude," Mooner said. "That's so, like, cosmic.”

Men Has Beens Said Past Luck Cosmic Could Have Been Good Luck Cupcakes Jenny

Book:Fearless Fourteen: A Stephanie Plum Novel

Source: Fearless Fourteen: A Stephanie Plum Novel

“[Ranger] "How's your mental health?" he asked. "I heard about Soder." [Stephanie] "I'm rattled." "I have a cure." Oh, boy. He put the truck in gear and headed for the exit. "I know what you're thinking," he said. "And that wasn't where I was going. I was going to suggest work." "I knew that." He looked over at me and grinned. "You want me bad." I did. God help me.”

Thinking Knows Want Said Helping Boys Heard Mental Health Cures Help Me Want Me Truck Gears Exit You Want Me Rangers God Help God Help Me

Author:Janet Evanovich

“He [Ranger] stopped in front of my parents' house, and we both looked to the door. My mother and my grandmother were standing there, watching us. "I'm not sure I feel comfortable about the way your grandma looks at me," Ranger said. [Stephanie] "She wants to see you naked." "I wish you hadn't told me that, babe." "Everyone I know wants to see you naked." "And you?" "Never crossed my mind." I held my breath when I said it, and I hoped God wouldn't stike me down dead for lying.”

Source: Hard Eight: A Stephanie Plum Novel

“He [Ranger] peeled my [Stephanie] clothes off and wrangled me into bed. And then suddenly he was inside me. He once told me that time spent with him would ruin me for all other men. When he said it, I thought it was an outrageous threat. I no longer though it outrageous.”

Men Said Bed Clothes Threat Ruins Outrageous Rangers Time Spent

Author:Janet Evanovich

“Diesel is back," Ranger said. Yes. How did you know?" I woke up with a migraine this morning." Ranger said.”

Knows Said Morning Rangers Did You Know Diesel Migraine

Author:Janet Evanovich

“This is war,' I yelled through the door. Lucky for me,' Morelli said. 'I give good war.”

Giving Said War Doors Lucky Good War

Book:Stephanie Plum One, Two, Three: One for the Money, Two for the Dough, Three to Get Deadly

Source: Stephanie Plum One, Two, Three: One for the Money, Two for the Dough, Three to Get Deadly

“Are you telling me you think Ranger's a superhero?' Think about it. We don't know where he lives. We don't know anything about him.' Superheroes are make-believe.' Oh yeah?' Lula said. 'What about God?”

Thinking Knows Believe Said Yeah Superhero Make Believe Rangers

Book:Stephanie Plum One, Two, Three: One for the Money, Two for the Dough, Three to Get Deadly

Source: Stephanie Plum One, Two, Three: One for the Money, Two for the Dough, Three to Get Deadly

“Either get out of bed or else take your clothes off," he said. "I'm not in the mood to compromise.”

Said Bed Clothes Mood Compromise

Author:Janet Evanovich

“THE NOTE said the first clue was "in the big one." I looked at the jumble of letters that followed, and I saw no pattern. Not such a surprise, since I was missing the puzzle chromosome and couldn't do puzzles designed for nine-year-olds.”

Years Firsts Said Bigs Saws Missing Letters Notes Surprise Patterns Nine Puzzles Clue Nine Years Chromosomes

Book:More Plums in One: Four to Score, High Five, and Hot Six

Source: More Plums in One: Four to Score, High Five, and Hot Six

“I paused for a light at Hamilton and TWlfth and noticed the Nissan was running rough at idle. Two blocks later it backfired and stalled. I coaxed it into the center of the city. Ffft, ffft, ffft, KAPOW! Ffft, ffft, ffft, KAPOW! A Trans Am pulled up next to me at a light. The Trans Am was filled with high school kids. One of them stuck his head out of the passenger-side window. "Hey lady," he said. "Sounds like you got a fartmobile." I flipped him an Italian goodwill gesture and pulled the ball cap low on my forehead. (Three to get Deadly)”

“Excuse me?" I said, palms down on the Formica tabletop. "Coffee? I thought we came here for pie." "I don't eat the kind of pie they serve here." I felt a flash of heat go through my stomach. I knew firsthand the kind of pie Ranger liked.”

Kind Said Felt Excuse Coffee Heat Stomach Flash Pie Palms Excuse Me Rangers

Book:To the Nines

Source: To the Nines

“You need teeth like mine!" Grandma said. "You can just mail 'em to the dentist!”

Needs Said Mines Teeth Ems Mail Grandma Dentist

Author:Janet Evanovich

“You gonna take the case?" It's not a case. It's a missing person. Sort of." You're gonna have a devil of a time finding him if it was aliens," Grandma said.”

Ifs Persons Said Cases Missing Findings Devil Aliens Grandma Missing A Person

Book:High Five

Source: High Five

“I don't know much about cars," Joyce said, "but I think someone took my engine.”

Thinking Knows Said Car Engines Joyce

Book:Lean Mean Thirteen

Source: Lean Mean Thirteen

“I always wanted to eat with a Negro,” Grandma said. Yeah, well I always wanted to eat with a boney- assed old white woman,” Lula said. “So I guess this works out good.”

Wells Said Wanted White Yeah Work Out Grandma

Book:Four to Score

Source: Four to Score

“Aren't you something," Grandma said. "I never saw a midget up close." "Little person," Briggs said. "And I never saw anyone as old as you up close, either.”

Littles Persons Said Saws Grandma Midget

Book:High Five

Source: High Five

“My father hired you to protect me," Ahmed said, "not to go off chasing men." Grandma leaned forward, keeping her eye on the Taurus. "We think this guy killed Fred." "Who's Fred?" "My uncle," I told him. "He's married to Mabel." "Ah so you're avenging a murder in the family. This is a good thing.”

Thinking Men Said Eye Guy Father Protect Married Murder Good Things Her Eyes Uncles Chasing This Guy Grandma Avenging Taurus

Book:More Plums in One: Four to Score, High Five, and Hot Six

Source: More Plums in One: Four to Score, High Five, and Hot Six

“The dog ran into the kitchen, stuck his nose in Grandma's crotch, and snuffled. Dang," Grandma said. "Guess my new perfume really works. I'm gonna have to try it out at the seniors meeting.”

Trying Said Dog Meetings Stuck Noses Ran Kitchen Senior Perfume Grandma

Book:Hot Six: A Stephanie Plum Novel

Source: Hot Six: A Stephanie Plum Novel

“Grandma Mazur stood two feet back from my mother. "I gotta get me a pair if those," she said, eyeballing my shorts. "I've still got pretty good legs, you know." She raised her skirt and looked down at her knees. "What do you think? You think I'd look good in them biker things?" Grandma Mazur had knees like doorknobs.”

Ifs Thinking Knows Looks Said Stills Two Mother Feet Raised Legs Knees Pairs Grandma Skirts Shorts Bikers Grandma Mazur

Author:Janet Evanovich

“I know what you're thinking," Grandma said into the silence. "Do I have anymore bullets in this here gun? Well, with all the confusion, what with being locked up in a refrigerator, I plumb forgot what was in here to start with. But being that this is a 45 magnum, the most powerful handgun in existence, and it could blow your head clean off, you just got to ask yourself one question. Do you feel lucky today? Well, do you, punk?" Christ," Spiro whispered. "She thinks she's f**king Clint Eastwood.”

Thinking Knows Feels Wells Said Today Asks Christ Powerful Existence Silence Kings Lucky Gun Clean Blow Confusion Most Powerful Punk Locked Bullets Grandma Refrigerators Locked Up Handguns

Author:Janet Evanovich

“Sorry about Bender," Lula said, letting the Trans Am idle at the curb. "Maybe we could tell Vinnie he died. We could say we were all set to bring Bender in, and he died. Bang. Dead as a doorknob." "Better yet, why don't we just go back and kill him," I said. I opened the door to leave, caught my toe in the floor mat, and fell out of the car, face first. I rolled onto my back and stared up at the stars. "I'm fine," I said to Lula. "Maybe I'll sleep here tonight.”

Firsts Said Faces Stars Sleep Doors Car Fine Died Sorry Caught Tonight Idle Toes Bangs Trans Curb

Book:Hard Eight: A Stephanie Plum Novel

Source: Hard Eight: A Stephanie Plum Novel

“He's a good man," Ranger said. "And you?" "I'm better.”

Men Said Good Man Rangers

Book:Lean Mean Thirteen

Source: Lean Mean Thirteen

“Ranger sent us to check on you," Hal said. "We just got here, and we heard shots." "Some moron ate my jelly doughnut," Lula said. "So I shot him.”

Said Heard Shots Checks Moron Rangers Jelly Doughnut

Book:Sizzling Sixteen

Source: Sizzling Sixteen

“I took the stool next to him, raising an eyebrow at the coffee and cruller on the counter. "Thought you weren't into internal pollution," I said. Lately Ranger'd been on a health food thing. "Props," Ranger told me. "Didn't want to look out of place." I didn't want to burst his fantasy bubble, but the only time Ranger wouldn't look out of place would be standing in a lineup between Rambo and Batman.”

Want Looks Said Would Be Next Fantasy Standing Coffee Internals Bubbles Pollution Only Time Eyebrows Props Rangers Stools Health Food Rambo

Book:Three To Get Deadly: A Stephanie Plum Novel

Source: Three To Get Deadly: A Stephanie Plum Novel

“Maybe it was me," Grandma said."Sometimes they sneak out.Did I fart?”

Said Sometimes Grandma Sneak Fart

Book:To the Nines

Source: To the Nines

“Bob had a dog buscuit stuck to his head. "How does he always get food stuck to him?" I asked Morelli. "I don't know," Morelli said. "It's a Bob mystery. I think stuff falls out of his mouth and he rolls in it. I'm not sure." -Morelli And Stephanie”

Thinking Knows Doe Said Fall Stuff Mystery Dog Mouths Stuck Not Sure Bob

Author:Janet Evanovich

“My grandmother is a little Cuban woman who cooks all day and speaks Spanish. Your grandmother watches pay-per-view porn." "She used to watch the Weather Channel, but she said there wasn't enough action." -Ranger and Stephanie”

Littles Said Enough Action Used Speak Views Pay Watches Weather Cooks Grandmother My Grandmother Cuban Rangers Your Grandmother

Book:To the Nines

Source: To the Nines

About the Author

Born: April 22, 1943
Known for: Writer
Quotes: 378

Related Topics

Said Rangers Knows Ifs Thinking Want Men Car Looks Stephanie Plum Grandma Needs Giving People Firsts Two Years Eye Janet Evanovich Babe

Popular Topics

People Ifs Thinking Knows Men World Way Want Love Life Inspirational Needs Giving Feels Should Writing Trying Years Mind Firsts

Books & Sources

Stephanie Plum One, Two, Three: One for the Money, Two for the Dough, Three to Get DeadlyRelated source material

More Plums in One: Four to Score, High Five, and Hot SixRelated source material

Hard Eight: A Stephanie Plum NovelRelated source material

To the NinesRelated source material

High FiveRelated source material

Twelve sharpRelated source material

Sizzling SixteenRelated source material

Eleven on TopRelated source material

Fearless Fourteen: A Stephanie Plum NovelRelated source material

Four to ScoreRelated source material

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