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Jo Brand Quotes

Actress

Jo Brand is a British actress and comedian, born on July 23, 1957. Known for her unique sense of humor and satirical comedy, she has starred or appeared as a guest in various television shows, including 'The Fast Show' and 'Jo Brand's Christmas Party'. Brand's career spans across theater, film, and television.

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Famous Jo Brand Quotes

“When you cry, you don't look very attractive; you look snotty and blotchy. People seem to manage to cry quite prettily these days, and to me, that smacks of not being very genuine.”

People Looks Seems Cry Genuine Manage These Days Attractive Smack

Author:Jo Brand

“People are so different in reality from the picture created of them on TV. So it's all a creation; everything is made up.”

People Made Different Reality Creation Tvs

Author:Jo Brand

“Fat people are brilliant in bed. If I'm sitting on top of you, who's going to argue?”

People Ifs Bed Sitting Brilliant Arguing Fats Fat People

Author:Jo Brand

“I think there's a danger that we're moving towards a state where the people we are expected to admire are almost not human anymore, and I don't like that. I prefer it when someone looks like a nice person, and you think, 'I could have a laugh with them in the pub.'”

People Thinking Humans Looks Persons States Moving Laughing Nice Danger Expected Admire Pubs Nice Person Have A Laugh

Author:Jo Brand

“Usually, what people in the public eye do is pick two charities and just exclusively work for them. But that means you have to turn people down all the time, so I try and do something for everyone that asks me, at least once.”

People Trying Mean Two Eye Turns Asks Picks Charity Ask Me Public Eye

Author:Jo Brand

“Having done a normal job for 10 years, as a psychiatric nurse dealing with emergencies, I know what terrible, hopeless lives some people have. So in many ways, it's great to be able to wield the financial power that I can, and do gigs, fundraisers or give money. I feel lucky I can help out.”

People Knows Way Giving Feels Years I Can Done Helping Able Jobs Terrible Lucky Normal Financial Hopeless Nurse Emergencies Gigs Psychiatric Fundraiser

Author:Jo Brand

“I think people tend to believe that women who are successful are probably neglecting their children, possibly a bit hard-nosed and that they don't really support other women very much - that they're men-haters and ball-breakers. I've certainly been on the receiving end of those 'compliments' for most of my career.”

People Thinking Men Believe Children Ends Hard Bits Careers Support Successful Balls Neglect Compliment Receiving Man Hater

Author:Jo Brand

“For a long time, people assumed I was gay, so when I got married the press were all a bit shocked and made a big deal of it - and ditto when I had children. I felt very much under the microscope with paps outside the house taking pictures of me getting the baby out of the car, it was excruciating. I remember getting her out of the car seat and thinking 'oh God I'm going to drop her and they're going to take a picture'. I was so nervous. Those sorts of things are really hard.”

People Thinking Children Long Made Hard Bigs Remember House Felt Bits Deals Car Baby Gay Married Long Time Presses Nervous Seats Shocked Big Deal Microscopes Taking Pictures

Author:Jo Brand

“I tried to eat better too, but when you're on tour you literally just eat some hideous pork pie on the motorway on the way to a show. It's a really unhealthy lifestyle: you're up late, drinking loads of coffee to stay awake, drinking loads of alcohol because you're socialising with people.”

People Way Shows Late Drinking Alcohol Coffee Lifestyle Awake Load Pie Healthy Lifestyle Unhealthy Hideous Pork Socialising Pork Pies

Author:Jo Brand

“There's something people do to you when they bully you that makes you feel like you're on your own. But don't keep things inside, it's really damaging if you do.”

People Ifs Feels Like You Bully

Author:Jo Brand

“I like the purity of stand-up because it is all about whether people laugh at your jokes. Either they laugh or they don't.”

People Laughing Jokes Purity

Author:Jo Brand

“They say revenge is a dish best eaten cold, but for most people, by the time it's ready to eat, they just don't fancy it any more.”

People Ready Cold Revenge Fancy Dishes Exacting Revenge

Author:Jo Brand

“I have friends who vote Tory, and I'm appalled, but that's not to say they're not great people in so many other ways.”

People Way Vote Great People

Author:Jo Brand

“I'm sure some cynical people would point to that as the main reason for doing it for a lot of people.”

People Reason Cynical

Author:Jo Brand

“A lot of people do that kind of nostalgia stuff believing that they were very happy in their teenage years, but that's probably just an illusion.”

People Years Believe Kind Stuff Illusion Nostalgia Very Happy Teenage Teenage Years

Author:Jo Brand

“Being Christian towards poor people means trying to improve their lives and give them back some self-respect.”

People Giving Trying Mean Self Christian Poor Self Respect Poor People

Author:Jo Brand

“I like to shock people.”

Author:Jo Brand

“I think some people ramp a side of themselves up for performance purposes.”

People Thinking Purpose Sides Performances Ramp

Author:Jo Brand

“I used to get a lot of people saying 'Oh, you are such a lucky granny.' But the fact of the matter is you can be a grandma at 35 these days.”

People Matter Facts Used Lucky These Days Grandma Granny

Author:Jo Brand

“I've never trained as an actor. I've always thought I'm not a good actor. I've been told I'm not a good actor by a lot of people.”

People Actors Good Actors

Author:Jo Brand

“Once you get labelled, people expect you to behave within the very narrow confines of that label.”

People Labels Behave

Author:Jo Brand

“There are lots of people who believe that caricature of me the tabloids created, so they think they don't like me.”

People Thinking Believe Like Me Tabloids Caricatures Don't Like Me

Author:Jo Brand

“I find it difficult to judge myself, but people say that I have become a bit more socially acceptable over the years in terms of my material; which apparently at the beginning - though I never really intended it to be - was man hating and now is just a bit more cuddly.”

People Men Years Hate Bits Difficult Term Judging Materials Acceptable Man Hating

Author:Jo Brand

“People say you should read your criticism because it will make you a better person but it doesn't. It just makes you a sad bitter old showbiz nightmare.”

People Should Persons Criticism Bitter Nightmare Bitterness Better Person Showbiz

Author:Jo Brand

“I have big friends who won't go swimming because they're too embarrassed about it. I feel that's such a shame, because actually people should be encouraging fat people who are exercising to do it, not pointing and laughing.”

People Feels Should Bigs Laughing Exercise Shame Fats Swimming Embarrassed Pointing Fat People

Author:Jo Brand

“I have seen good nurses and bad nurses. They existed along a continuum: from hard-working, kind and competent people, to office-hugging, bone-idle types, to apathetic, disengaged automatons.”

People Kind Hard Hard Work Type Office Bones Nurse Hug Idle Competent Continuum Apathetic

Author:Jo Brand

“I like reading, I like boring things, and yet I think people for ages had this image of me that I was on the tube with a chainsaw looking for any likely candidate.”

People Thinking Age Reading Boring Candidates Tubes Chainsaw Boring Things

Author:Jo Brand

“I love doing stand-up. It's so self-contained - you go there, you do it, you go home - but with telly, there are too many people involved with it with opinions. You have a product, and everyone wants to change it.”

People Want Self Home Opinion Products Involved Self Contained

Author:Jo Brand

“I often tell audiences at the start of my shows that I'm not gay because I've got petitions from lesbian groups saying 'Can you tell people you're heterosexual because you're giving us a bad name.'”

People Giving Shows Names Audience Groups Gay Petitions

Author:Jo Brand

“I suspect most politicians feel overwhelmed because people's lives are a real struggle, full of unhappiness, and you would probably feel powerless to do anything about it.”

People Feels Real Struggle Politician Unhappiness Suspects Powerless Overwhelmed

Author:Jo Brand

“I tend to think the world is a bit of a miserable place, so anyone who can add to people's optimistic, cheerful side is doing a good job, which is what I hope I'm doing.”

People Thinking World Jobs Bits Sides Add Optimistic Miserable Cheerful Good Job

Author:Jo Brand

“I think my comedy, the put-downs I do to hecklers, are the accumulated bitterness of years of people feeling that it's perfectly acceptable to make a comment on your appearance when they don't even know you.”

People Thinking Knows Years Feelings Comedy Appearance Bitterness Comment Acceptable Hecklers

Author:Jo Brand

“I've never, ever had people being aggressive to me in public or abusing me, and actually quite a lot of men do say to me, 'You're quite good' - though they can't bear to go, 'You're great.'”

People Men Bears Aggressive

Author:Jo Brand

“If I am totally honest, I would have to say that ''Allo 'Allo!' was not my cup of tea, even though lots of people loved it. For that reason, I find comedy fascinating. There is a huge difference between what people find funny.”

People Ifs Reason Differences Comedy Honest Huge Cups Tea Fascinating Cups Of Tea

Author:Jo Brand

“It's inevitable that if you do okay on something like that you don't just annoy people, that it will make a difference because it seemed like such a lot of people so, yes I would have to say that it has done.”

People Ifs Done Differences Okay Inevitable Making A Difference Annoying Annoyed

Author:Jo Brand

“My personal opinion is that you can't be racist towards white people. You can be prejudiced about them, but being prejudiced isn't an illegal act, whereas being racist can be.”

People White Opinion Racist Illegal Personal Opinions

Author:Jo Brand

“One thing lots of Christians do have in common is that they can't help coming across as smug. This winds lots of people up, particularly because famous Christians pronounce on the life of the poor from their very lovely affluent homes filled with their very lovely families and attractive pets.”

People Helping Home Christian Poor Common One Thing Wind Filled Lovely Attractive Pet Affluent Lovely Family

Author:Jo Brand

“So, I kind of rather was hoping that people thought it would have a nice mixture of different topics and it also takes in the fact that I've had two children recently.”

People Kind Children Two Different Facts Nice Topics Mixtures

Author:Jo Brand

“Some men are deeply likable but have attitudes I don't like. Does that mean I should completely dismiss them? It's like saying: if someone votes Tory can you like them? And, yes, I can. I have friends who vote Tory, and I'm appalled, but that's not to say they're not great people in so many other ways. We have a tendency to oversimplify things.”

People Ifs Men Way Should Mean Doe I Can Attitude Vote Tendencies Great People Yes I Can

Author:Jo Brand

“There are two types of people in this world: one who opens a packet of biscuits, has one and puts the rest back in the cupboard, and one who eats the whole packet in one go.”

People World Two Whole This World Type Biscuits Cupboards

Author:Jo Brand

“You don't really see ugly people that are old, or a bit grotty and smelly, in the media. If a Martian came down, they would think we were all tall, thin, attractive and wealthy.”

People Ifs Thinking Bits Media Ugly Attractive Wealthy Tall Martians Smelly Ugly People

Author:Jo Brand

“I think it's really important to be kind, especially to people whose lives are grim - I try hard to cheer people up in as many ways as I can - if all else fails - I tell 'em a joke!”

People Ifs Thinking Way Trying Kind I Can Important Hard Failing Jokes Ems Be Kind Cheer Grim

Author:Jo Brand

“I made a supreme effort not to do that thing that parents do, which is to bore people without children to death by going on and on about how funny their children are, so there's none of that hopefully.”

People Children Made Parent Effort Supreme Hopefully Bores

Author:Jo Brand

“People can forgive each other.”

People Forgiving

Author:Jo Brand

About the Author

Born: July 23, 1957
Known for: Actress
Quotes: 195

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