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Karen Marie Moning

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“I smack myself in the forehead. “Holy priceless collection of Etruscan snoods, they’re not moving!” I exclaim. There’s a choking noise over my head somewhere. “Etruscan snoods?” I glow quietly inside. Some accomplishments mean more than others. I am officially the Shit. Now and forever. “Dude, watch your question marks. I just pried one out of you.” “I have no idea what you’re talking about.” “Admit it, you lost your eternal fecking composure.” “You have an obsession with a delusion about how I end my sentences. What the fuck are Etruscan snoods?” “Dunno. It’s just another of Robin’s sayings. Like, ‘Holy strawberries, Batman, we’re in a jam!’ ” “Strawberries.” “Or, ‘Holy Kleenex, Batman, it was right under our nose and we blew it!’”

“Dani: Crank it up. Lets get this party started. *I hand Dancer my iPod.* Lor: What is this crap. Where the hell is Hendrix on this thing? Jo: Did you get any Muse? Dani: Muse is something you do Jo: Distrubed is something you are Dancer: And Godsmacked is something you get Lor: Don't you have any Motley Crue or Van Halen? Christian: How about some Flogging Molly? Ryodan: Whats the deal with all the Linkin Park, for fuck's sake. Dancer: Mega has a crush on Chester Jo: You got any Adele? Dani: Got some Nicki Minaj. Ryodan: Somebody kill me now.”

“Ryodan finished filling the gas tank, opens the door, and gets back in. "Ow! If you sit on me one more time." I growl at him, "I'm going to kill you." "Good luck with that. Don't fucking move every time I get out. You're on my side of the seat again." "Watch out for my indent," I say crossly. "Hummer, Mac. Nothing causes indents. Except grenades." "I have several of those," Jada says. "Persist with your pointless bickering, I'll share one. Pin out." I ignore her. "I'm cramped. I need to stretch." "So, get out when I do." "I'm afraid you'll leave me behind since you can't see me." "I'd leave you behind if I could see you." "Christ, would the two of you just shut up?" Dageus growls. You've been at it for hours. I think I have a headache.”

“I said, my phone." I stand at the threshold and look in. The princess has her back to me, and Lor is beyond noticing anything. Ryodan and Barrons are another matter. They're too observant by far. There is also the small matter of the enormous possessiveness I feel where Barrons is concerned. I step inside and place my palm on the interior panel. Two males roar in unison. "Ms. Lane, you will not close-" "Mac, you will give me my f*ucking-" The door hisses closed behind me.”

“I look up but don't spot him. "I take care of myself. I ain't living with nobody. Got my own digs. What are you doing up there?" "Tracking the Hag. Trying to devise a way to trap her. She's fast but she's not a sifter." I jerk, and look around warily. That's all we need right now. "Is she here?" "If you brought that crazy bitch near me again." Ryodan doesn't finish his sentence. He doesn't need to.”

“Odd way to dress for an investigation," Barrons murmured. "She's not Dani anymore," Ryodan clipped. "Would you rather she had on jeans and sneakers?" I said. "I'd rather she had on a fucking suit of armor," Ryodan said cooly. And a chastity belt if I could read the looks in a man's eyes. And I could. "She's a woman, Ryodan," I said softly. "Get used to it. Dancer was right. We need to accept her." (Mac, Barrons and Ryodan as Dani/Jada walks into Chesters)”

“What I know, brother, is you break every goddamned rule for Mac.” “Back at you, Ry. Difference is, I’ll help you do it.” “Lor has never been Pri-ya.” Ryodan shakes his head in disgust. “The princess can’t turn us. Son of a bitch, Mac’s ass is—” “Mine,” Barrons says flatly. “You will never go there. You have a problem with Mac, you work it out with me. I am her shield, I am her second fucking skin.”

“A Seelie. A fucking prince,” Lor said. “He’s got a couple hundred more Seelie from a dozen different castes waiting outside. Threatening war. Demanding you shut the place down, stop feeding the Unseelie.” I gasped, “V’lane?” “You told him to come!” Ryodan accused. “She knows him?” Lor exploded. “It’s her other boyfriend,” Ryodan said. “Besides Darroc?” one of the other men demanded. Lor glared at Barrons. “When are you going to wise up and shut that bitch down for good?”

“I look at Ryodan and he looks at me and for a second I think we might both kill the kid. Ryodan's more stone-faced than usual, if that's possible without turning to concrete, and his fangs are out. I look down. Ryodan's sick is as big as mine. "Why the bloody hell don't you wear underwear?" To an Unseelie Prince an exposed male dick is a call to battle. "They chafe. Too small and confining." "Fuck you," I say. "Dudes. Get over yourselves," the kid says.”

“Dude. Post-apocalyptic world. Who does job applications anymore?” “I do.” I squint at it, then him. “What are you paying me?” I angle. “Dude. Post-apocalyptic world. Who does money anymore.” I snicker. First sign of any sense of humor he’s shown. Then I remember where I am and why. I wad it up and throw it at him. It bounces off his chest.”

“The wound you refuse to dress is one that will never heal. You gush lifeblood and never even know why. It will make you weak at a critical moment when you need to be strong.”

“Velvet looks horrified. “If you are fool enough to address King R’jan, you will do it thus and in no other manner! ‘My King, Liege, Lord, and Master, your servant begs you grant it leave to speak.’” “Wow. Totally delusionary there.” “Good luck with that,” Ryodan says. “She doesn't beg to speak, or do anything else. You can lock her up, down, and sideways and it’s never going to happen.” I beam at him. I had no idea he thought so highly of me.”

“Dani, Dani, Dani." I flinch. I've never heard anyone say my name so gently. It creeps me all kinds of out. He's towering over me, arms crossed over his chest, scarred forearms dark against the rolled-up sleeves of a crisp white shirt. Heavy silver cuffs glint at both wrists. The light is smack behind his head, as usual. "You didn't really think I'd let you get away with it," Ryodan says.”