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Kate Bornstein

Kate Bornstein Books

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“And then I found out that gender can have fluidity , which is quite different from ambiguity. If ambiguity is a refusal to fall within a prescribed gender code, then fluidity is the refusal to remain one gender or another. Gender fluidity is the ability to freely and knowingly become one or many of a limitless number of genders, for any length of time, at any rate of change. Gender fluidity recognizes no borders or rules of gender.”

GenderGender Fluidity
Book:Gender Outlaw: On Men, Women and the Rest of Us
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“The standards of beauty in America's über-culture are purposefully set too high so that we will buy anything in our frantic scramble to become attractive. We are meant to feel crushed, inadequate, and less-than so that we'll buy more and more things in the vain hope of "fixing" ourselves.”

CapitalismConsumerismConsumer Society
Book:Hello Cruel World: 101 Alternatives to Suicide for Teens, Freaks & Other Outlaws
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“Gender is just one of many systems of oppression. The ultimate goal is to see how all systems are tied in a knot with the others and untie, unravel the knots of oppression. It's a spiritual journey more than a governmental one. It's about asking ourselves, 'Is this culture stopping me or anyone else from the free expression of sex and gender?' and if so, we have to act.”

FeminismGenderActivism
Book:Gender Outlaw: On Men, Women and the Rest of Us
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“This Western culture of ours tends to sacrifice the full range of experience to a lower common denominator that's acceptable to more people; we end up with McDonald's instead of real food, Holiday Inns instead of homes, and USA Today instead of news and cultural analysis. And we do that with the rest of our lives.”

PeopleRealEndsHomeTodayCultureCommonOur LivesSacrificeNewsWesternRangeAnalysisUsaHolidayMediocrityAcceptableMcdonaldsCommon DenominatorWestern CultureInnsReal Food
Author:Kate Bornstein
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“To see cartoon-me positioned (alphabetically) amongst so many of my women heroes and role models ... well, I just broke down and cried. Happy tears. I surely hope that this one-of-a-kind collection of radical American women reaches the hands of all children who want to grow up and become amazing women.”

WantWellsKindChildrenHandsGrowsRolesGrowing UpTearsHeroModelsDown AndRadicalBrokeCollectionsRole ModelsCriedCartoonAmerican WomanOne Of A KindAmazing WomanHappy Tears
Author:Kate Bornstein
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“Growing up we were secular Jews, but what I got out of Judaism at that time in my life was questions. Everything was a question. "Dad, is there a heaven? Is there a hell?" You never could get an answer. That informed a lot of my reasons for getting into Scientology, because they had all the answers. They said I was not my body, not my mind. I don't have a soul; I am an immortal soul. I've lived many lives and I'll live endlessly into the future, and as an immortal soul I have no gender.”

MindSaidSoulReasonBodyHeavenAnswersHellGrowing UpGrowingDadJewGenderImmortalSecularThey SaidJudaismScientologyImmortal Soul
Author:Kate Bornstein
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“The transgender movement even divides itself up by gender, as many folks stick with their same trans-genders (female-to-male or male-to-female). Additionally, the movement gets strangely subdivided among, for example, male cross-dressers, sissy boys, butch women, femme dykes, drag kings, drag queens, transvestites, intersexed, transsexuals (post-op, pre-op, and non-op).”

BoysExampleMovementKingsFemaleCrossesSticksMalesFolksGenderPostsQueensDividesDragTransgenderTransFemmeSissyDrag QueenDressersTransvestitesDykesTranssexuals
Author:Kate Bornstein
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“Just across the ocean in, say Kenya or Tanzania, a two-gender system is vital for the survival of most of the folks who live there. Men do men's work, women do women's work, and so it all gets done and the jackals can't get into the hut and eat grandpa. So, the future of the transgender movement is like the future of all human rights movements: whatever the state of things in your area now, with some work it all gets a little bit better all the time, even if it is sometimes three steps ahead and two steps back.”

IfsMenHumansLittlesTwoSometimesStatesDoneThreeBitsStepsRightsMovementOceanLittle BitSurvivalAreasFolksHuman RightsGenderWorking ItTransgenderKenyaGrandpaHutsTanzaniaJackals
Author:Kate Bornstein
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“My own take on the word "transgender" is that it's an umbrella term for anyone who breaks any rules, laws, guidelines or protocol of gender. So, to really be an ally, it's important that you recognize and embrace your own transgender nature. Really, I haven't met a single person who doesn't break some rule of gender. In other words, we will assimilate you. Resistance is futile.”

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Author:Kate Bornstein
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“Look, nearly everything in the culture says we're freaks. Doing sex work, we're desired; we can get rewarded for being what we've always wanted to be. What's so bad about that? My own notion is I wish sex work would be decriminalized (not legalized, please note the distinction) so that more trannies could get into the field if they wanted to and not get into trouble for it.”

IfsLooksWould BeWantedCultureWishSexMy OwnTroubleFieldsPleaseNotesNotionDistinctionFreakSex Work
Author:Kate Bornstein
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“Both bisexuality and transgender are fluid notions of identity, while lesbian and gay are fixed identities. Some people believe that means there should be two movements: LG and BT. But then what're ya gonna do about SM players? And intersexed folks who want their own I in the alphabet soup of sex and gender related politics?”

PeopleWantShouldBelieveMeanTwoSexPlayerMovementIdentityGayNotionFolksGenderFixedRelatedSoupTransgenderFluidAlphabetBisexualitySmsAlphabet SoupSex And Gender
Author:Kate Bornstein
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“We grew up creating this whole world view for ourselves because it's not there in the culture. What am I? And I have to build this world view in the absence of books, radio and television, anything, even conversation, Mom or Dad or brother or sister or friends. I have to build a world view of who I am or I go stark, raving mad. Every transsexual in the past has had to do this.”

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Author:Kate Bornstein
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“I see fashion as a proclamation or manifestation of identity, so, as long as identities are important, fashion will continue to be important. The link between fashion and identity begins to get real interesting, however, in the case of people who don't fall clearly into a culturally-recognized identity.”

PeopleLongImportantRealFallInterestingCasesFashionIdentityManifestationLinksGet RealProclamation
Book:Gender Outlaw: On Men, Women and the Rest of Us
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“The first question we usually ask new parents is : “Is it a boy or a girl ?”. There is a great answer to that one going around : “We don’t know ; it hasn’t told us yet.” Personally, I think no question containing “either/or” deserves a serious answer, and that includes the question of gender.”

ThinkingKnowsFirstsGirlAsksParentAnswersBoysSeriousDeserveGenderSexualityHomosexualityContainingEither OrNew Parents
Book:Gender Outlaw: On Men, Women and the Rest of Us
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“No matter how your world falls apart-and honey, that's what happens: we all build ourselves a world, and then it falls apart-but no matter how that happens, you still have the kind heart you've had since you were a child, and that's all that really counts.”

WorldHeartKindChildrenStillsMatterHappensFallHoneyFalling ApartKind Heart
Book:A Queer and Pleasant Danger: The true story of a nice Jewish boy who joins the Church of Scientology, and leaves twelve years later to become the lovely lady she is today
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“I know I'm not a man-about that much I'm very clear, and I've come to the conclusion that I'm probably not a woman either, at least not according to a lot of people's rules on this sort of thing. The trouble is, we're living in a world that insists we be one or the other-a world that doesn't bother to tell us exactly what one or the other is.”

PeopleKnowsMenWorldCultureJusticeClearTroubleDiversitySocial JusticeConclusionBother
Book:Gender Outlaw: On Men, Women and the Rest of Us
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“There's no such thing as hurting someone for their own good. There's only hurting someone for your own good.”

HurtHurting Someone
Book:A Queer and Pleasant Danger: The true story of a nice Jewish boy who joins the Church of Scientology, and leaves twelve years later to become the lovely lady she is today
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“Disney will never make a movie about my life story, and that's a shame--I'd make a really cute animated creature.”

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Book:A Queer and Pleasant Danger: The true story of a nice Jewish boy who joins the Church of Scientology, and leaves twelve years later to become the lovely lady she is today
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“Drag queen is a gender like no other, and with practice I'd learned to rise to it.”

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Book:A Queer and Pleasant Danger: The true story of a nice Jewish boy who joins the Church of Scientology, and leaves twelve years later to become the lovely lady she is today
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“It doesn't really matter what a person decides to do, or how radically a person plays with gender. What matters, I think, is how aware a person is of the options. How sad for a person to be missing out on some expression of identity, just for not knowing there are options”

ThinkingPersonsMatterPlayKnowingMissingIdentityExpressionGenderNot KnowingWhat MattersMissing Out
Book:Gender Outlaw: On Men, Women and the Rest of Us
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“I was a lonely, frightened little fat kid who felt there was something deeply wrong with me because I didn't feel like I was the gender I'd been assigned. I felt there was something wrong with me, something sick and twisted inside me, something very very bad about me. And everything I read backed that up.”

FeelsLittlesKidsFeltLonelySickGenderFatsFrightenedTwistedFat Kid
Book:Gender Outlaw: On Men, Women and the Rest of Us
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