Home / Authors / Mark Jackman

Mark Jackman Quotes

Author

Browse famous quotes by Mark Jackman.

Filter quotes by topic

All Fiction Funny Book Quotes Humour Funny Quotes Faith Mistakes Vicars Frightened Hamsters Humorous

Famous Mark Jackman Quotes

“If a wizard should take up residence in your garden and requests food, you are obliged to feed him.”

Fiction Humour Funny Quotes Wizards Funny Book Quotes

Book:Shadow of the Badger

Source: Shadow of the Badger

“The hamster-powered hat is the same as any other hat. It keeps your head warm and looks smart,' the inventor said. 'The hamster generates heat by running on the wheel. If you get a big enough hamster, it will keep your whole face warm.”

Fiction Humour Funny Quotes Funny Book Quotes Humourous Hamsters Inventions

Book:There's Something About Dying

Source: There's Something About Dying

“Suddenly, a voice called from the darkness. Taylor leapt like a salmon, then became rooted to the spot like a tin of salmon.”

Fiction Humour Scared Frightened Funny Book Quotes

Book:Shadow of the Badger

Source: Shadow of the Badger

“Eagles, buffalos and deserts vast, it’s no good living in the fucking past.”

Fiction Rude Sayings Swearing Funny Book Quotes

Book:There's Something About Dying

Source: There's Something About Dying

“My mortgage isn’t getting any cheaper and I can’t run that Ferrari on faith alone," Reverend Jones said. "Don’t get me wrong, the Big Man upstairs does what he can but I’ve never once seen him filling up the tank of my car.”

Faith Fiction Humour Funny Book Quotes Vicars

Book:There's Something About Dying

Source: There's Something About Dying

“My mortgage isn’t getting any cheaper and I can’t run that Ferrari on faith alone," Revernd Jones said. "Don’t get me wrong, the Big Man Upstairs does what he can but I’ve never once seen him filling up the tank of my car.”

Faith Fiction Humour Funny Book Quotes Vicars

Book:There's Something About Dying

Source: There's Something About Dying

“His only real financial failure came at the age of thirteen when, in an uncharacteristic error of judgement, he invested £200,000 of his own savings in wooden socks, an invention that never caught on as he had hoped.”

Fiction Humour Humorous Mistakes Funny Quotes Funny Book Quotes

Book:Shadow of the Badger

Source: Shadow of the Badger

“Probably your biggest mistake was doing funk-dance to Unchained Melody,” the dog offered earnestly. “It’s a ballad, Alf, and to be honest, it’s one of the slowest songs I can think of. You’d have been better off doing a slow waltz to something with that tempo. The other factor may have been the large amount of beer you consumed beforehand.”

Fiction Humour Mistakes Humorous Quotes Talking Dog

Book:There's Something About Dying

Source: There's Something About Dying