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Martha Beck

Martha Beck Books

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“Martha," she said. "Just let it go." "I'm trying," I said. I want to explain to her that this was like telling someone who has been mauled to death by a bear to let the animal go while it was still worrying what was left of her leg. I didn't have my situation; it had me. There was nothing I wanted more than to let go of it, but I didn't know how. I eventually figured it out, but the method that works for me proved to be exactly the opposite of what Debra intended. She meant that I should never tell the story, but telling the story is the only way to let go of trauma. Letting it go is precisely what I am doing now, in the hopes that it will help others in similar situations find the courage to tell their stories, but I sincerely doubt that Debra will approve.”

TruthLetting GoSurvivalAbuseFundamentalismControversy
Author:Martha Beck
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“There’s a Chinese word that means “soul sister,” and that is the word I would use to address you in my heart. Listen to me, soul sister: Fate or luck or destiny already put you through hell once. Please don’t make it worse by condemning yourself. There is no choice that would have left you feeling no guilt. Every time I watch Adam struggle to speak, every time I see another child laugh and point at him, every time I watch his face fall as he realizes he is not going to be treated like the other kids, I feel wrenched by guilt just as you did when you heard my story. Life is hard. We make the best choices we can. Condemnation, whether it comes from around you or inside you, only robs the world of another dram of compassion. God knows, we need all the compassion we can get. If you promise to try to forgive yourself, I’ll try to forgive myself as well. I think, in my heart of hearts, that there is nothing for either one of us to forgive.”

LoveLifeChoicesUnderstandingCompassionForgivenessGuiltCondemnationChoices And Consequences
Author:Martha Beck
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“Your body is free but your heart is in prison. To release your heart, you simply reverse the process which locked it up. First you begin to listen for messages from your heart-messages you may have been ignoring since childhood. Next you must take the daring, risky step of expressing your heart in the outside world. . . . As you learn to live by heart, every choice you make will become another way of telling your story. . . . It is the way you were meant to exist. If you stop to listen, you'll realize that your heart has been telling you so all along.”

IfsWorldWayLifeInspirationalFirstsHeartMayHas BeensStoriesBodyChoicesNextProcessRealizingStepsSadnessChildhoodAwarenessMessagesPrisonYour BodyReleaseLive ByDaringLockedReverseAnother WayOutside WorldChoices You MakeTelling Your Story
Author:Martha Beck
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“In the pursuit of Knowledge, every day something is added. In the practice of the Way, every day something is dropped. Less and less do you need to force things, until finally you arrive at non-action. When nothing is done, nothing is left undone.”

WayNeedsDoneActionLeftForcePeacePracticePursuitUndonePursuit Of Knowledge
Book:Finding Your Own North Star: Claiming the Life You Were Meant to Live
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“I explain to everyone I deal with-co-workers, children, friends-that I'm transitionally challenged and they should call me on my cell phone if I'm even a few minutes late. Such calls often come in when I'm happily writing or rearranging the furniture. The monochrones in my life are so organized, they have no trouble remembering to remind me to show up.”

IfsShouldWritingChildrenShowsRememberDealsTroubleMinutesLateWorkersPhonesCellsOrganizedCall MeFurnitureCell PhoneCo WorkerRearranging
Author:Martha Beck
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“Many of us have spent a lifetime trying to be what we’re not, feeling lousy about ourselves when we fail, and sometimes when we succeed. We hide our differences when, by accepting and celebrating them, we could collaborate to make every effort more exciting, productive enjoyable, and powerful. Personally, I think we should start right now.”

ThinkingShouldTryingSometimesFeelingsDifferencesPowerfulEffortAcceptingFailingRight NowSucceedExcitingLifetimeCelebrateProductiveEnjoyable
Author:Martha Beck
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“Silence comes in two varieties: One that nourishes and comforts; another that chokes, smothers, and isolates. Solitary confinement is the worst kind of imprisonment we can inflict on fellow humans, and if you are forced to keep silent about some dark secret, you live in solitary confinement. Without the bridge of communication connecting you to other human beings, you can’t share your burdens, can’t receive comfort, can’t confirm that you still belong. Silence is the abyss that separates you from hope.”

IfsHumansKindStillsTwoDarkHuman BeingsSecretSilenceShareWorstCommunicationComfortFellowsSilentBurdenVarietyBridgesSolitarySilence IsAbyssConnectingChokeImprisonmentConfinementSolitary ConfinementDark Secrets
Author:Martha Beck
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“The effect of emotional venting is to sustain an unsatisfactory status quo. Most people think the opposite, that complaining is part of an effort to change an unsatisfying situation. Nope. Complaining lets off pressure so that we neither explode with frustration nor feel compelled to take the often risky steps of openly opposing a difficult person or situation. Keeping emotional pressure tolerably low doesn't change problematic circumstances but rather perpetuates them.”

PeopleThinkingFeelsPersonsDifficultEffortSituationStepsEffectsEmotionalCircumstancesLowsOppositesPressureComplainingFrustrationStatus QuoCompelledOpposingVenting
Author:Martha Beck
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