Home / Authors / Peggy Orenstein

Peggy Orenstein

Peggy Orenstein Quotes

Author

Peggy Orenstein is an American author known for her insightful exploration of women's growth and gender roles. Her work delves into the multifaceted identities and challenges faced by women in modern society, particularly the experiences of teenage girls and young women.

Filter quotes by topic

All Girl Sex Boys Daughter Consent Culture Ifs Parent Sexuality Thinking Way Body Children Feels Girls Ideas Important Intimate Kids Princess

Famous Peggy Orenstein Quotes

“And isn't that, at it's core, what the princess fantasy is about for all of us? "Princess" is how we tell little girls that they are special, precious. "Princess" is the wish that we could protect them from pain, that they would never know sorrow, that they will live happily ever after ensconces in lace and innocence.”

Knows Littles Pain Happiness Girl Wish Fantasy Special Sorrow Protect Core Innocence Princess Happily Ever After Ever After Lace

Author:Peggy Orenstein

“It's not that pink is intrinsically bad, but it is such a tiny slice of the rainbow, and, though it may celebrate girlhood in one way, it also repeatedly and firmly fuses girl's identity to appearance.”

Way May Girl Identity Appearance Tiny Celebrate One Way Rainbow Fuse Girlhood

Author:Peggy Orenstein

“Marketing to girls constantly presents a hypersexualized idea of girls; they're expected to appear sexy but be cut off from their sexuality.”

Ideas Girl Cutting Marketing Sexy Sexuality Expected

Author:Peggy Orenstein

“Parents tend to name all of baby boys' body parts, but with girls they go from belly button to knees with this void in the middle. That doesn't change as kids go into puberty.”

Body Kids Girl Names Parent Boys Middle Baby Knees Void Buttons Belly Puberty Baby Boy Belly Buttons

Author:Peggy Orenstein

“Sex-ed courses look at girl's internal parts: for boys it's about ejaculation, erection and wet dreams; for girls, it's periods and unwanted pregnancy. We never talk to girls about sexual self-exploration or self-knowledge.”

Looks Self Dream Girl Courses Sex Boys Periods Internals Exploration Pregnancy Wet Self Knowledge Unwanted Ejaculation Wet Dreams Unwanted Pregnancy

Author:Peggy Orenstein

“Girls would say: "I have a boyfriend for that." So in addition to putting their pleasure literally into someone else's hands - an inept teenage boy - these are the same girls who say they do not climax with a partner. It's the opposite with boys; they say because they can do that themselves, girls should perform oral sex.”

Should Hands Girl Sex Can Do Pleasure Boys Opposites Partners Teenage Climax

Author:Peggy Orenstein

“Sexualization is the performance of sexuality, the performance of sexiness. Girls are super good at that now.”

Girl Performances Sexuality Sexiness

Author:Peggy Orenstein

“There is a way hook ups are serving young women. And it was important for me to always talk about how behaviours were serving girls, not just making them the victims.”

Way Important Young Girl Victim Serving Behaviour Young Women Hook Hook Up

Author:Peggy Orenstein

“All girls over age 14 remove pubic hair. The only touching is to remove hair. That's grim.”

Age Girl Hair Remove Touching Grim Pubic Hair

Author:Peggy Orenstein

“Girls are removing pubic hair before fully having it. They would say I feel cleaner, it's for me, but then they'd say if a boy saw pubic hair down there they'd head for the hills.”

Ifs Feels Girl Boys Saws Hair Hills Cleaners Pubic Hair

Author:Peggy Orenstein

“I asked a high school girl about unreciprocated oral sex and said, "What if guys were asking you to get them a glass of water and never offered to you a glass of water? Would you put up with that?" She burst out laughing. It never occurred to her.”

Ifs Said School Guy Girl Sex Water Laughing High School Asking Glasses What If School Girl

Author:Peggy Orenstein

“I talked to a junior in college, and she was fed up. She said, "I'm not doing other girls any favours by faking orgasms and not calling out guys when we're having unequal experiences."”

Said Guy Girl College Calling Feds Favour Juniors Fed Up Other Girl

Author:Peggy Orenstein

“I had a lot of girls ask me whether it was weird that they didn't make a lot of noise during sex. I would get so irritated that they had learned this.”

Girl Asks Sex Noise Ask Me Irritated

Author:Peggy Orenstein

“While I completely disagree with the "purity" concept, it was the only place I saw fathers talking to girls about their expectations and attitudes to sex and expressing love and support. I didn't see liberal dads having similar conversations with their daughters.”

Girl Father Sex Attitude Talking Support Saws Dad Conversation Expectations Daughter Concepts Purity Disagree Expressing Love

Author:Peggy Orenstein

“We're afraid if girls find out sex is pleasurable they'll stop being gatekeepers, they'll go out and have sex.”

Ifs Girl Sex Gatekeepers

Author:Peggy Orenstein

“We continue to think of virginity as first intercourse. That ends up minimizing and marginalizing other things kids are engaged in, like oral sex. And it's not going to feel particularly good for girls as the big marker of adulthood.”

Thinking Feels Firsts Ends Bigs Kids Girl Sex Engaged Adulthood Intercourse Virginity Markers Minimizing

Author:Peggy Orenstein

“Saying "yes" [to sexual activity] is a pretty low baseline for sexual experience and I wanted to write about what was happening to girls after "yes."”

Writing Wanted Girl Activity Lows Happenings Saying Yes

Author:Peggy Orenstein

“I found that in a perverse way our culture and parents are far more comfortable talking about girls' vicitimization than girls' sexual agency.”

Way Culture Girl Found Parent Talking Comfortable Agency

Author:Peggy Orenstein

“A lot of what happens in consensual encounters and in the way we talk to both girls and boys about sex creates a medium in which assault flourishes.”

Way Happens Girl Sex Boys Mediums Encounters Assault Boy And Girl

Author:Peggy Orenstein

“For years we've used the bases analogy - with intercourse being the "ultimate sex" even though that's probably not going to feel good to girls. That model doesn't let you say "I like it at second base, maybe I'll stay here."”

Feels Years Used Girl Sex Models Ultimate Bases Feel Good Intercourse Analogies

Author:Peggy Orenstein

“Intimate justice touches on ideas of gender inequity, violence, bodily integrity, physical and mental health. I don't expect a 15-year-old girl to have that figured out; it's hard enough to have it figured out when you're 50.”

Years Ideas Hard Enough Girl Justice Violence Integrity Mental Health Gender Intimate

Author:Peggy Orenstein

“Girls are freer to express their femininity and their sexuality and we're not tamping that down or denying it anymore. But it ends up putting them, first of all, in this box. And secondly, premature sexualization of girls actually does the opposite of what people think it might; it actually disconnects them from their sexuality and makes for decreased sexual health as they get older.”

People Thinking Girl Sexuality Femininity

Author:Peggy Orenstein

“My kind of nightmare quote is from Deborah Tolman, who does research on girls and desire and is, I think, brilliant. She told me that by the time girls are teenagers, when she asks them how sexual experience made them feel, they respond by how they think they looked; they think that how they look is how they feel.”

Thinking Kind Desire Girl Brilliant Teenager Nightmare

Author:Peggy Orenstein

“I'll tell you what is insidious about the Disney Princess, besides the fact that if you look into their merchandise, the 26,000 items, you're always finding books that are about "my perfect wedding." It's what it puts girls on the path for. And that it poses as something that protects girls, or staves off premature sexualization, when I think it primes them for it. I don't know where to put that on the continuum exactly. I guess eight?”

Thinking Book Girl Perfect Path Protect Princess

Author:Peggy Orenstein

“There is only one princess in the Disney tales, one girl who gets to be exalted. Princesses may confide in a sympathetic mouse or teacup, but they do not have girlfriends. God forbid Snow White should give Sleeping Beauty a little support. Let's review: princesses avoid female bonding. Their goals are to be saved by a prince, get married, and be taken care of the rest of their lives.”

Source: Cinderella Ate My Daughter: Dispatches from the Front Lines of the New Girlie-Girl Culture

“American Psychological Association, the girlie-girl culture’s emphasis on beauty and play-sexiness can increase girls’ vulnerability to the pitfalls that most concern parents: depression, eating disorders, distorted body image, risky sexual behavior.”

Play Body Culture Girl Parent Behavior Eating Concern Increase Psychological Vulnerability Disorder Association Emphasis Body Image Eating Disorder Pitfalls Sexiness

Book:Cinderella Ate My Daughter: Dispatches from the Front Lines of the New Girlie-Girl Culture

Source: Cinderella Ate My Daughter: Dispatches from the Front Lines of the New Girlie-Girl Culture