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Stella Chess Quotes

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Famous Stella Chess Quotes

“Even today . . . experts, usually male, tell women how to be mothers and warn them that they should not have children if they have any intention of leaving their side in their early years. . . . Children don't need parents' full-time attendance or attention at any stage of their development. Many people will help take care of their needs, depending on who their parents are and how they chose to fulfill their roles.”

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Author:Stella Chess
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“Four- and five-year-olds' play is permeated with the rankest sexism. No matter what their parents do and say, they play their momand pop roles in ultraconventional style. We've seen little girls whose mothers are doctors absolutely refuse to take the doctors' parts in their play, insisting that "only boys can be doctors," against all reason. Girls do more washing and drying of clothes, dishes, and babies than they've ever seen their own mothers do, and they turn their play husbands into TV-watching drones who do nothing but talk about money.”

YearsChildrenLittlesMatterReasonPlayMotherTurnsGirlParentBoysRolesFiveFourStyleTvsBabyHusbandClothesDoctorsNo Matter WhatRefusePopsFive YearsSexismDishesWashingDronesFive Year OldsInsistingChildren Playing
Author:Stella Chess
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“A child is nothing like a racing car. . . . Souping up babies doesn't work that way. The child is what she is. There is a certainirreducible if elusive core. Pushing, pulling, stretching, and shrinking will not really change it. There may be spectacular interim results. The baby may say the alphabet before she walks, master two-times or even ten-times table at three. In the long run, however, this forced precocity tends to be irrelevant. . . . Whatever gains there are become unimportant. The losses can be irrevocable.”

IfsWayMayChildrenLongTwoRunningThreeLossWalksResultsCarMastersBabyTenGainsTablesCorePushingRacingLong RunsPullingIrrelevantSpectacularStretchingElusiveUnimportantAlphabetShrinkingRace CarIrrevocableChild DevelopmentInterim
Author:Stella Chess
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“Adolescents may be, almost simultaneously, overconfident and riddled with fear. They are afraid of their overpowering feelings, oflosing control, of helplessness, of failure. Sometimes they act bold, to counteract their imperious yearnings to remain children. They are impulsive, impetuous, moody, disagreeable, overdemanding, underappreciative. If you don't understand them, remember, they don't understand themselves most of the time.”

IfsMayChildrenSometimesFeelingsRememberYearningAdolescenceHelplessnessDisagreeableImpulsiveMoodyOverpoweringOverconfidentImpetuous
Author:Stella Chess
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“Many children grow through adolescence with no ripples whatever and land smoothly and predictably in the adult world with both feet on the ground. Some who have stumbled and bumbled through childhood suddenly burst into bloom. Most shake, steady themselves, zigzag, fight, retreat, pick up, take new bearings, and finally find their own true balance.”

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“Today's fathers and mothers--with only the American dream for guidance--extend and overextend themselves, physically, emotionally,and financially, during the best years of their lives to ensure that their children will grow up prepared to do better and go further than they did.”

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Book:Daughters: from infancy to independence
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“Parents' ability to survive a child's unabating needs, wants, and demands...varies enormously. Some people can give and give....Whether children are good or bad, brilliant or just about normal, enormously popular or born loners, they keep their cool and say just the right thing at all times...even when they are miserable themselves, inexhaustible springs of emotional energy, reserved just for children, keep flowing unabated.”

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Author:Stella Chess
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“Normal children of both sexes and all cultures will follow a more or less standard and universal developmental pattern and timetable, and reach approximately the same level of development at maturity. While a particular culture's need and expectations and teaching will shape the course of development and affect adult capabilities to some degree, normal individuals, whatever their native culture, if transplanted and taught, could learn to meet the normal demands of their adapted cultures.”

IfsNeedsChildrenCultureCoursesIndividualSexLevelsTeachingTaughtParticularDevelopmentShapesDemandDegreesNormalStandardsExpectationsAdultsUniversalPatternsMaturityNativeCapabilityAdaptedDevelopmentalTimetables
Book:Daughters: from infancy to independence
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“You can read the best experts on child care. You can listen to those who have been there. You can take a whole childbirth and child-care course without missing a lesson. But you won't really know a thing about yourselves and each other as parents, or your baby as a child, until you have her in your arms. That's the moment when the lifelong process of bringing up a child into the fold of the family begins.”

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Author:Stella Chess
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