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“Supongo que si a uno le gustaban las perras frígidas que escondían corazones atados con oro, se podría decir razonablemente que el Gran Príncipe Justin de Verania era un hombre atractivo. Claro, a menudo parecía que había mordido el más amargo de los limones (algo de lo que había intentado curarlo, pero que parecía empeorar), pero hombres y mujeres amaban su piel de porcelana, alabando poéticamente sus rizos marrón chocolate. Qué majestuoso es, exclamaban. Qué hermoso. Era como si los dioses mismos tuvieran algo que ver. Incluso después de que esencialmente lo había reencarnado, se veía bien constituido. Era escultural, de hombros anchos y cintura estrecha. Tenía dedos elegantes y palmas encallecidas, un testimonio de lo bien versado que estaba como espadachín. Su lujosa túnica bordada se estiraba ajustando sus brazos y pecho. Sus pantalones tenían la cantidad justa de tiro entre sus muslos y... —Santa mierda —respiré—. Eres de ensueño. Él dijo: —¿Qué? —Sin inflexión alguna. —Me gustas, no, solo... dame un momento. Mi visión del mundo ha cambiado y estoy luchando para seguir adelante. Y qué... más o menos es un día normal para ti, ¿no? —¿Cuándo te volviste atractivo? —Exigí. —¿Estás seduciéndome? —preguntó con incredulidad. —¡Qué! ¡No! Por supuesto no. Al menos, creo que no. ¿Soy yo? Realmente necesito sentarme y pensar en esto. ¿Qué estoy haciendo? ¿Con esto? ¿Con mi vida? Oh, dioses míos, ¿qué estoy haciendo con mi...”

“Ox, I swear to god, if you’ve ruined a normal life for outside of this, I will punch you in the spleen.” Chris said, “She’ll do it too. Trust me. When she was seven, I accidentally --ow, fine, it was on purpose, stop hitting me for fucks sake--left one of her barbies on the heating vent. It melted its face and looked...well, it looked just awesome. She didn’t think so. I still have a scar on my elbow from where she attacked me with her fingernails.”

“He sighed against my lips, and I wondered if this was happiness, if this clawing in my chest was how I felt when we’d done this before. Because if it was, then I understood why Gordo had said I must have fought like hell. If someone had tried to take this away from me, the memory of him and the way he felt against me, I would have done everything in my power to fight back. Even as I felt consumed by him, a low, fiery hatred burned in the pit of my stomach at the thought that it had been taken from me. My pack. My home. My mate.”

“But then he said he wanted you. That he wanted you to come to him, and it was like this fire started in my chest. I was never going to let that happen. I was never going to let you go to him. I didn’t understand why. Even in the face of all the little asides, all the knowing smirks that make me feel so goddamn stupid in retrospect. You want to know why I’m here? Why I chased you across miles and miles and for months and months? It’s because it’s not fair. It’s not fair that I finally find something of my own, something all for me, only to have it taken away. Your father was right. I’m tired, Gavin. Of everything. Paying for the mistakes of all those who came before us. All I want is to live free and feel like I’m not dying with every breath I take.” And it was there, finally, the box unlocked. I embraced it as best I could. “You’re my mate.”

“You don’t understand.” He laughed bitterly. “I don’t understand? That’s what you’re going with? Fuck you, Carter. I understood better than anyone. Robbie was taken from us. Taken from me. For thirteen months, I did all I could to get him back. And even when half the pack was against it or, even worse, apathetic about it, I fought for him.” I couldn’t look at him. I struggled to find the words. I said, “You weren’t alone. Gordo, Ox. They—” “I don’t care!” he shouted at me. “Even if I was, I still would have done everything I could. I was never going to let him go. He’s my fucking mate, and I would have torn this world apart to get to him, even if I had to do it by myself. And don’t you dare try and say that’s what you were doing here because it’s not the same. You had your entire pack willing to help you, to do anything we could to get Gavin back. But you decided to play martyr.”

“Who cares, right? I mean, it’s sort of fitting, you know? And even if there wasn’t this thing between us, I could.…” I shook my head. “Even when he was stuck as a wolf, I felt it. I didn’t know what it was. In hindsight, I should have. I hated it at first, but I got used to it. Then he was gone. It hurt more than I ever thought something like that could. And all I could think about was getting to him. I need him to be my shadow because without him, I’m … I felt lost. He’s snarly. He’s surly. He’s a pain in my fucking ass. But there’s no one like him. Dad told me once that there could be others, that there wasn’t just one person. That we had a choice. I think I’ve made mine, though. If he’ll have me. Do you think he’ll have me? I’m not perfect. I make mistakes.” I shrugged awkwardly. “He sees through that, though. I exasperate him, I annoy him, and he scowls at me like he wants to punch my fucking teeth down my throat. And it all goes away when he says thump, thump, thump. Because he hears my heart and it anchors him. How can I say no to that? Who cares if he’s a man or a woman or somewhere in between? It doesn’t matter. All I care about is that he sees me. Like, really sees me. And I see him.” I looked at my brothers. They were gaping at me. “What?” I said, suddenly self-conscious. I rubbed the back of my neck as my face grew hot. “Holy shit,” Kelly breathed. “You love him,” Joe whispered. I glared at them. “I do not. Shut up.” “No,” Kelly said, voice growing louder. “You looooooove him.”

“She said, “That man out there. That wonderful man followed you for years. He put himself between you and harm’s way time and time again. And when he thought his father was going to take you away from him, when you were screaming as Livingstone’s magic was pouring into you, he made his choice. He found it within himself to crawl from the depths of whatever feral hell he was in. For you, Carter. How are you so blind to that? I know he’s not what you expected. I know you never thought about one such as him—” [...] But don’t ever doubt what Gavin Walsh feels for you. Everything he’s done has been for you. Carter, can’t you see? He loves you. So much so that he was willing to sacrifice himself in Caswell just to keep you safe. He chose you over his father. It’s why he left with him. Not because he wanted to. But because he thought it would mean Livingstone could never touch you again.”

“I think it’d be nice,” he said, words slurring slightly. “If you came here. If you stayed. We’d drink tea and talk and one day, I’d tell you that I loved you. That I couldn’t imagine my life without you. You made me want more than I ever thought I could have. Such a funny little dream.” His eyes closed and didn’t reopen. He breathed in and out, lips parting. After a time, Wallace said, “And I would tell you that you made me happier than I’d ever been. You and Mei and Nelson and Apollo. That if I could, I’d stay with you forever. That I love you too. Of course I do. How could I not? Look at you. Just look at you. Such a funny little dream.”

“More than anyone else I have ever had sitting across from me in this office. There’s something special about you, whether you know it or not. You have such strength in you that I refuse to believe you’ll be anything but the greatest man you can possibly be. Life is never easy. There are the bumps in the road that sometimes turn into mountains. But you’re a born climber, and I promise you that no matter how big the obstacle in your way, you’ll overcome it. There is no alternative.”

“Mom! Mom. You have to smell him! It’s like… like… I don’t even know what it’s like! I was walking in the woods to scope out our territory so I could be like Dad and then it was like… whoa. And then he was all standing there and he didn’t see me at first because I’m getting so good at hunting. I was all like rawr and grr but then I smelled it again and it was him and it was all kaboom! I don’t even know! I don’t even know! You gotta smell him and then tell me why it’s all candy canes and pinecones and epic and awesome.”

“There comes a time in every werewolf's life when he is of age to make certain decisions about his future." I wondered whether, if I threw something at him, it'd distract him enough for me to drag him out of the kitchen. I glanced over my shoulder out the window. Cater waved at me. Like an asshole. "My future," Joe said, "is Ox." Ah god, that made me ache. “Is that so?” Mom asked. “How do you figure?” “He’s really nice,” Joe said seriously. “And smells good. And he makes me happy. And I want to do nothing more than put my mouth on him.” “Ah well,” Thomas said. "We tried." "He's our little snowflake," Elizabeth told him. "You want to do what?" I asked Joe incredulously. He winced. "I didn't mean to say it like that.” He was sweating much more heavily now as he looked back at my mother. “What does that mean?” she asked. “It means I want to provide for him to prove my worth,” Joe said. “And then, once he agrees to be mine, I’ll mount him and then bite him and everyone will see that we belong to each other.”

“Demi means you need to have a connection with someone before you can have romantic and/or sexual attraction,” Serge said. “And dude, you have a connection with him. Like a hard-core connection. You’re connecting all over the place.” “That’s not what this is,” Josy said faintly, though he was starting to doubt his own words. “You care about him, right?” “Yeah.” “Do you want to hold his hand?” “Oh yeah.” “Hug him?” “Such good hugs,” Josy whispered fervently. “Kiss him?” Yes. Yes he did. “Holy freaking crap,” Josy breathed. “I find Quincy Moore attractive.” Xander threw up his hands. “Good god, finally.” “I think he’s sexy.” “Good for you, man,” Serge said. “I want to put my mouth on his mouth.” “Okay,” Serge said. “That’s… good.” “He’s hot,” Josy said. “Like, frigging hot. I mean, the whole sex thing can wait or whatever, but goddamn. Have you seen him? I wish I was a blanket so I could lay on top of him all the time and keep him warm.”

“I mean, I get that you don’t agree with homosexuality, like it’s some kind of decision. I get that you’re conservative, and that’s your right to be. But something I’ve never understood about the argument against gay rights is how it has any effect on a straight person. Sanctity of marriage? Don’t get gay married. Disgusted by gay sex? Don’t have gay sex. Gay people having children? They’re not your children, so why does it matter? How do gay people with equal rights affect your life in any way, shape, or form?”

“Because Mom said it was nice to do and would get on her good side when I asked her if it'd be ok that I kept you for the rest of my life," Joe explained. Then his eyes widened. "Shit. That wasn't supposed to come out like that." "Oh my god," I said faintly. "You want to keep him how long now?" Mom asked, squinting at Joe. "Uhh," Joe said. "crap. This isn't going like I wanted it to. I had everything I needed to say planned out. Hold on."He reached down and pulled a notecard from his pocket. It was rumpled, the corner ripped. He stared down at it, mouth moving silently as he read whatever the hell he'd written on it.”

“It's you," I said, not able to look away. "It's how I feel when I'm with you. How I think I've always felt. You're my lightning-struck heart. It doesn't matter about the cornerstone. It doesn't matter about who I am or who you are. Not to me. I think it would have always been this way for me. Even if we had never escaped the slums. Ever since the beginning. Ever since I've known you, you've struck my heart, and now I have to let you go because you're not mine to keep. I need someone that I can be strong for. But I need someone who can also be strong for me.”

“And then I saw him. In the snow. Behind the trees. A white wolf. Black on his back and chest. His eyes burned red. He said chase me i love you chase me. I said, “Daddy?” because I was just a little boy again, and my father, my father was there, and he was never going to leave me, he was never going to leave me again. He ran. I chased after him. Tree branches slapped against my face and chest, sharp stings as the blanket flared around me. I almost dropped it. I almost let it go. PackLoveSon to me to me come to me”

“Livingstone,” Gavin said again, almost stubbornly. “I call him Livingstone. Not Dad. I had….” “You had,” I said, squeezing his hand. He glanced at me quickly before looking back down at the table. “I had Dad. Mom too. Not real parents. But still good.” “What happened to them?” Robbie asked quietly. “Dead,” Gavin said in a dull voice. “Long time ago. Still human when it happened. Car accident. I didn’t know what to do. After. Then I was wolf. Then I was Omega. And now I’m here.” All those years broken down into a few short sentences. I wondered if I would ever know all that had happened to him or if it would be locked away in his mind. Memories hurt when you let them.”