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Hilarity Quotes

Browse 40 quotes about Hilarity.

Hilarity Quotes

“John, let me make one thing clear,” Jim said, cutting me off in his most stern, evangelical voice. “Every man is blessed with his gifts from the Lord. One of mine happens to be a penis large enough that, if it had a penis of its own, my penis’ penis would be larger than your penis.”..... ..."Fuck all of you,” John retorted. “You don’t even exist. We’re all just a figment of my cock’s imagination.”

HumourHilarityPenisesDick JokesStupid Boys
Book:John Dies at the End
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“Among the compensations of advancing age is a wholesome pessimism which, while it takes the fine edge off whatever triumphs may come to us, has the admirable effect of preventing fate from working off on us any of those gold bricks, coins with strings attached, and unhatched chickens that which ardent youth snatches with such enthusiasm to its subsequent disappointment. As we emerge from the twenties, we grow into a habit of mind which looks askance at fate bearing gifts. We miss perhaps the occasional prize but we also avoid leaping lightheartedly into traps. Ash Marsin had yet to reach the age of tranquil mistrust and when fate seemed to be treating him kindly, he was still young enough to accept such kindnesses on its face value and rejoice in them. --Something Fresh”

WisdomAgeHilarity
Author:P.G. Wodehouse
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“JAY: No really. Be secure. Pretend I'm a sperm cell. Here. I take the string out of the... hood of my sweatshirt, affix it to my behind for a tail, like so... LENORE: What in God's name are you doing? JAY: Pretend, Lenore. Be an ovum. Be strong. Let me hypothetically batter at you. Batter batter. Surrender to the unreal of the real interior. LENORE: Are you supposed to be a sperm, wriggling your sweatshirt-string like that? JAY: I can feel the strength of your membrane, Lenore.”

DialogueHilarityDfwPsychobabble
Book:The Broom of the System
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“Because Mom said it was nice to do and would get on her good side when I asked her if it'd be ok that I kept you for the rest of my life," Joe explained. Then his eyes widened. "Shit. That wasn't supposed to come out like that." "Oh my god," I said faintly. "You want to keep him how long now?" Mom asked, squinting at Joe. "Uhh," Joe said. "crap. This isn't going like I wanted it to. I had everything I needed to say planned out. Hold on."He reached down and pulled a notecard from his pocket. It was rumpled, the corner ripped. He stared down at it, mouth moving silently as he read whatever the hell he'd written on it.”

CourtingHilarityJoe BennettOx Matheson
Book:Wolfsong
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“Conner raised an eyebrow. 'Who told you that?' 'Well,' she said, not knowing how to describe what she experienced. 'Um . . . a moth did.' Conner squinted at her and his mouth fell open. He was expecting a much better answer than that. 'A moth told you?' 'Yes -- but it wasn't a regular moth, it was more like an angel.' 'An angel moth?' 'Well, it came from somewhere in the stars. I think Grandma sent it.' 'Grandma sent you an angel moth from outer space?' 'Kind of! Anyway, the moth took me to a forest and then turned into a bunch of orbs that re-created a memory -- stop looking at me like that, Conner!”

MagicSarcasmAfterlifeTwinsAngelsFairiesMothsHilarityThe Land Of StoriesAlex BaileyConner BaileyMessages From Beyond The GraveDubious SanityThe Fairy Godmother
Author:Chris Colfer
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“One more royal trait properly belongs to the poet. I mean his cheerfulness, without which no man can be a poet,--for beauty is his aim. He loves virtue, not for its obligation, but for its grace; he delights in the world, in man, in woman, for the lovely light that sparkles from them. Beauty, the spirit of joy and hilarity, he sheds over the universe.”

MenWorldMeanLightJoySpiritUniverseVirtueGracePoetAimDelightLovelyObligationTraitsShedRoyalCheerfulnessSparkleHilarity
Book:Representative Men: Seven Lectures
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“After Birth is a fast-talking, opinionated, moody, funny, and slightly desperate account of the attempt to recover from having a baby. It is a romp through dangerous waters, in which passages of hilarity are shadowed by the dark nights of earliest motherhood, those months so tremulous with both new love and the despairing loss of one's identity-to read it is an absorbing, entertaining, and thought-provoking experience.”

NightWaterDarkLossTalkingDangerousIdentityBabyMonthsBirthAccountsMotherhoodDesperateThought ProvokingPassagesEntertainingProvokingAbsorbingHaving A BabyDark NightOpinionatedMoodyHilarity
Author:Lydia Davis
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“There's, like, marks next to an actor's name or something, and boy does that go up and down! Somewhere in there, which always causes my mate Miss Ruby Wax great hilarity, I was offered a biopic of Frank Sinatra. Even I knew that was a bad idea! They'll throw anything at you at certain times. So, you know, to thine own self be true.”

KnowsDoeIdeasSelfCertainNextActorsNamesCausesBoysMissingMarkBeing TrueMatesFrankUp And DownBad IdeasRubiesHilarity
Author:Alan Rickman
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“As I grow older, what I find interesting is that I get experience with pain, different types of pain, and I start to see the lovely hilarity of life. Things that were once so crushing take on a different essence. I move through it at a faster rate. It's like traveling: it opens my eyes. My process is to allow myself to have it and to not judge myself or the situation too much, and then to create something with it.”

DifferentEyePainMovingGrowsProcessInterestingSituationToo MuchJudgingTypeEssenceRateLovelyFasterCrushHilarity
Author:Rachael Yamagata
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“Hey, have you heard that one about the difference between me, Wit, and my loutish cousin, Hilarity? No? Okay, so I walk into a bar, you see, very unassuming, and order a martini. Then the bartender, Hilarity, hauls off and squirts me in the face with a seltzer bottle, ruining my n ice new camel hair suit, dousing my monocle and my watch fob, soaking my cravat. So, do I let him have what for, and blow my top? I do not. I simply say: Sorry, I believe I said 'very dry'.”

BelieveSaidFacesOrderI BelieveDifferencesWalksWatchesHeardHairOkaySorryBlowWitBarsSuitsIceHeyDryBottlesCousinCamelsHaulBartenderMartiniSoakingSaying SorryUnassumingHilarityMonocles
Author:Chip Kidd
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“A harmless hilarity and a buoyant cheerfulness are not infrequent concomitants of genius; and we are never more deceived than when we mistake gravity for greatness, solemnity for science, and pomposity for erudition.”

ScienceMistakeCreativityGreatnessGeniusInnovationEnjoymentGravityDeceivedCheerfulnessCreativity And InnovationSolemnityEruditionHilarityPomposity
Book:Lacon, Or, Many Things in a Few Words: Addressed to Those who Think
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“Grace is the celebration of life, relentlessly hounding all the non-celebrants in the world. It is a floating, cosmic bash shouting its way through the streets of the universe, flinging the sweetness of its cassations to every window, pounding at every door in a hilarity beyond all liking and happening, until the prodigals come out at last and dance, and the elder brothers finally take their fingers out of their ears.”

WorldWayLastsUniverseGraceDoorsStreetsBrotherHappeningsWindowEarsFingersCosmicCelebrationSweetnessFloatingEldersShoutingCelebrate LifeProdigalsBashCelebration Of LifeHilarity
Book:Between Noon and Three: Romance, Law, and the Outrage of Grace
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“A heartwarming tale of Christmas past that's chock full of all the wit and hilarity we admire in America's favorite humorist--Mark Twain. Carlo DeVito brings us back one hundred years to a magical time in Twain's family life, revealing a house that's brimming with love and laughter, as well as the profound heartbreaks of life. A Mark Twain Christmas only deepens our understanding and respect for both the man and his work.”

MenYearsWellsAmericaPastHouseUnderstandingHe ManLaughterHundredMarkProfoundWitTalesAdmireRevealingFamily LifeHumoristsHeartwarmingLove And LaughterHilarity
Author:Gilbert King
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“The most sheer fun I ever had in sports was playing volleyball, a game I commend highly. I understand that an effort is under way to establish a national league of professional volleyball teams, and if you have ever seen the great women's teams of Japan and Russia or the equally good men's teams of Cuba and East Germany, you know how exciting this playground game, which requires so little equipment, can be.”

IfsKnowsMenLittlesGamesFunSportsKnow HowTeamExcitingLifetimeFollowingEastRussiaGermanyJapanGood ManSheerEquipmentCubaVolleyballHighlightsPlaygroundsGreat WomenEast GermanyHilarity
Author:James A. Michener
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