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Tabitha Suzuma

Tabitha Suzuma Books

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Forbidden

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Hurt

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“Sometimes I fear that the drug-free Flynn – searingly manic, then catastrophically depressed – is who he really is. But because in that form he is not acceptable to conventional society, he has to be drugged so that his emotions are tempered and his behaviour controlled. Perhaps we are blindly living in an Orwellian society where individualism is feared and the biggest pressure is the one to conform. Perhaps Flynn is sane and the rest of the world is mad. The thoughts go round and round in my head.”

IndividualityMental Illness
Book:A Voice in the Distance
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“Because – because when you feel that bad, that low, you stop caring. About everything and everyone. You can only think of yourself.’ His voice is hoarse, hesitant and barely audible, as if he is having to force the words out. ‘The pain is so … big, it takes up all the space in your body, in your mind, and there isn’t room for anything else. All you can think about is your own suffering, and how to stop it – you’d do anything to stop it. Anything. I really mean anything.”

PainSuffering
Book:A Voice in the Distance
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“He has little hope that university, when he gets there next year, will be any different. Like right now, all these pupils taking notes as if their life depended on it. All for what? he wants to shout. To get into the top university, so that you can somehow convince yourself you are better than the great unwashed? So that your parents can convince themselves that they are better parents than the great unwashed? So that Mum and Dad’s fourteen-hour days at the office, paying for a fucking private education you never asked for, wasn’t just a pathetic waste of a life?”

LifeWorkUniversityParentsMeaninglessness Of Life
Book:Hurt
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“How do you know? You said lithium didn’t work for some people. It’s not working for me!’ ‘Till the end of the month,’ Dr Stefan said evenly. ‘If there’s no change by then, we’ll try cutting the dose.’ ‘That’s another ten days! What do you care – you’re not the one taking it! That means I have to endure another ten days of hell, walking around like an idiot, bumping into things, forgetting the end of my sentences, feeling only half-alive! How am I supposed to believe this is going to work if it makes me feel like this? Why should I believe a word that you say?’ Dr Stefan smiled slightly. ‘Because, Flynn, this is the most animated I’ve ever seen you. I would venture to say that you’re beginning, just beginning to see the light at the end of the tunnel.’ Flynn narrowed his eyes in contempt. ‘Well if that’s the case, then, to quote Robert Lowell, it must be the light of the oncoming train.’ Dr Stefan threw his head back and roared with laughter.”

SarcasmRebelliousBipolar DisorderOppositional
Book:A Note Of Madness
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“Everything hurts. He can barely lie still. He feels caught. He wants to run, but where? He feels certain he will always remain like this - trapped within his own body, his own mind. The emotional pain is so strong, it becomes physical. He feels it knotting and twisting inside him, ready to crush him, suffocate him. He is losing his grip, he is losing his mind. He thought he had it all back under control, but suddenly nothing makes sense any more. Does anyone else know what it's like to be stuck somewhere between dead and alive? I't s a half-world of incoherent pain where emotions you put on ice start slowly thawing again. A place where everything hurts, where your mind is no longer strong enough to force your feelings back into hibernation.”

PainHurtDepression
Book:Hurt
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“Pressed up against him, I can feel the thud of his heart against mine, his ribcase expanding and contracting rapidly against my chest, the warm whisper of his breath tickling the side of my neck, the brush of his leg against my thigh. Resting my arms on his shoulders, I pull back a little to get a look at his face. But he isn't smiling any more.”

FeelsLooksHeartLittlesI CanFacesSidesMinesArmsBreathsLegsWarmShouldersNecksChestsBrushesExpandingThighsContractingTickling
Author:Tabitha Suzuma
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“This whole time, my whole life, that harsh, stony path was leading up to this one point. I followed it blindly, stumbling along the way, scraped and weary, without any idea of where it was leading, without ever realizing that with every step I was approaching the light at the end of a very long, dark tunnel. And now that I've reached it, now that I'm here, I want to catch it in my hand, hold onto it forever to look back on - the point at which my new life really began.”

WayWantLooksLongIdeasEndsWholeHandsLightRealizingDarkStepsForeverPathWhole LifeWearyHarshNew LifeTunnelsEvery StepStumbling
Book:Forbidden
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“I love you in–in every kind of way.’ ‘I feel like that too . . .’ His voice is shocked and raw. ‘It’s – it’s a feeling so big I sometimes think it’s going to swalow me. It’s so strong I feel it could kil me. It keeps growing and I can’t – I don’t know what to do to stop it. But – but we’re not supposed to do this – to love each other like this!”

ThinkingKnowsWayFeelsKindI CanSometimesFeelingsBigsStrongVoiceGrowingLove YouShockedLove Each Other
Author:Tabitha Suzuma
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“But then why is it so terrible for me to be with the girl I love? Everyone one is permitted to have what they want, express their love as they please, without fear of harassment, ostracism, persecution, or even the law. Even emotionally abusive, adulterous relationships are often tolerated, despite the harm they cause others. In our progressive, permissive society, all these harmful, unhealthy types of "love" are allowed--but not ours.”

WantLawGirlCausesTypeTerriblePleaseHarmDespiteProgressivePersecutionUnhealthyHarassmentAbusiveLove EveryoneOstracismTypes Of Love
Book:Forbidden
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