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Quote by Anthony Jeselnik

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Anthony Jeselnik
Anthony Jeselnik

Anthony Jeselnik, born on December 22, 1978, is an American comedian known for his sharp wit and unique performance style. He has gained recognition for his appearances in comedy clubs and television shows. more

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“My dad's been having a hard time lately. Keeps on losing his keys. Can't hang on to a set of keys to save his life. And he has tried everything too: little hook next to the door, little bowl next to his bed, keychain makes a noise when you whistle. Nothing worked. So finally, this year for his birthday, the whole family chipped in - and we put him in a home.”

YearsLittlesHardWholeHomeNextDoorsKeysDadBedLosingMy DadNoiseHard TimesBowlsHookWhole FamilyHaving A Hard Time
Author:Anthony Jeselnik
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“I had a happy childhood in a nice suburban area, pretty idyllic, upper middle class and very, very white. My dad is an attorney. My mother is a housewife. They had five kids in seven years: me, my brother, and three sisters. I'm the oldest. We were all very active. My mother was exhausted.”

YearsKidsMotherThreeWhiteClassFiveNiceChildhoodMiddleBrotherDadAreasSevenMy DadActiveMy BrotherMiddle ClassExhaustedSeven YearsAttorneyHousewifeHappy ChildhoodIdyllicUpper Middle ClassThree Sisters
Author:Anthony Jeselnik
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“My girlfriend loves to eat chocolate. She's always eating chocolate. And she likes to joke she's got a chocolate addiction. You know, she'd be like keep me away from those chocolate bars, I'm addicted to them. And it's really annoying. So one day I put her in the car and I drove her downtown and I pointed out a crack addict. And I said you see that honey? Why can't you be that skinny?”

SaidCarEatingJokesAddictionBarsLikesGirlfriendChocolateCracksHoneyAnnoyingAddictSkinnyMy GirlfriendDowntownEating ChocolateHersheyAlways Eating
Author:Anthony Jeselnik
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