“In the distance, Bo saw a fairy. A fairy so beautiful that he felt proud of being called one in highschool.” Quote by Bo Burnham
“Religion and philosophy, philosophy and religion - they're two words which are both ... different. In spelling.” TwoDifferentPhilosophyFunnyComedyPhilosophy Of ReligionSpellingPhilosophy And Religion Author:Eddie Izzard
“Paddy was in the delivery room when the midwife handed him a black baby. "Is this yours?" she asked "probably" said Paddy "she burns everything else"” SaidHumorFunnyBlackRoomsComedyBabyDeliveryMidwifePaddyDelivery Room Author:Billy Connolly
“I've got a wallet, it's orange. In case I wanna buy a deer. That doesn't make any sense at all.” HumorFunnyCasesComedyOrangeDeerWallets Author:Mitch Hedberg
“If I had a dime for every time a homeless guy asked me for change, I'd still say no.” IfsStillsHumorFunnyGuyComedyHomelessDimes Author:Bo Burnham
“I had to have a brace because I had big teeth. If I'd gone to Africa I would have got poached.” IfsBigsFunnyGoneComedyTeethBraces Author:Alan Carr
“Thank you ... San Francisco. All right, you're ruining the show. Thank you ... for clapping for what my parents are ashamed of.” ShowsHumorFunnyParentComedyAshamedSan FranciscoClapping Author:Daniel Tosh
“"You're an old man who dresses like a Hooter's waitress."” MenFunnyComedyDressesOld ManWaitress Author:Greg Giraldo
“What am I supposed to do if I go bald? Get a wig? Fat, goofy, gay, wig. I might as well get a piano and start an Elton John tribute act!” IfsWellsMightFunnyComedyGayFatsPianoTributeGoofyWigs Author:Alan Carr