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Quote by Argus Hamilton

“Wimbledon attracted Bill Clinton to the gallery at Centre Court Tuesday at the All England Club. NBC cameras showed his head turning back and forth with each volley. Even at a tennis match, it looks like he's denying everything.”

Quote by Argus Hamilton

Author

Argus Hamilton is a renowned comedian, born in 1951. His career began in the 1980s, and he is known for his unique sense of humor and satirical commentary. Hamilton has worked as a writer and actor on several comedy shows, including 'The Daily Show' and 'The Tonight Show with Jay Leno'. His work often involves political and social issues, known for its wit and sharpness. more

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“Fox News reported Thursday that Bill Clinton can't get into any of New York's better golf and country clubs. Not one member has been willing to sponsor him. So it's official, he really is America's first black president.”

Firsts Has Beens Country America Black President New York Willing Members News Bills Golf Clinton Clubs Officials Foxes Fox News Sponsors Thursday Country Clubs

Author:Argus Hamilton

“CBS News on Tuesday had Bob Kerrey in a Vietnam scandal, Senator Bob Torricelli in a donor scandal and Arnold Schwarzenegger in a sex scandal. This confirms what we always knew. Bill Clinton does the work of three men.”

Men Doe Three Sex News Bills Clinton Vietnam Bob Senators Scandal Tuesday Donors Schwarzenegger

Author:Argus Hamilton

“President Clinton broke ground Saturday for the World War II memorial in Washington. He'll never have the military's full respect. However, after surviving ten female accusers, he's been made an honorary member of the Tailhook Association.”

“Chinese president Jiang Zemin met with former Bill Clinton in Hong Kong Wednesday. What a contrast. One is a ruthless communist who gains popularity by damaging the United States, while the other guy runs China.”

States Running Guy President United United States Mets Gains Bills Clinton China Former Chinese Communist Contrast Popularity Ruthless Other Guys Wednesday Hong Kong

Author:Argus Hamilton

“Former South Africa President Nelson Mandela announced Tuesday he will begin writing his autobiography. He spent 25 years in prison before being elected to public office. In America, we do it the other way around.”

Way Writing Years America President Office Prison South Former South Africa Autobiography Tuesday Nelson Public Office

Author:Argus Hamilton

“Bill and Hillary will spend Easter with her brothers Hugh and Tony and Roger Clinton. They have a family ritual at all holiday dinners. After they sit down, they hold hands, close their eyes, and get their stories straight.”

Stories Hands Eye Brother Bills Clinton Dinner Holiday Ritual Easter Roger Holding Hands

Author:Argus Hamilton

“Hillary Clinton ripped FBI Director Louis Freeh on Wednesday. She said she can't understand how FBI documents could vanish and then mysteriously reappear. She has to say that or she'd be thrown out of the Magician's Society.”

Said Directors Clinton Thrown Documents Magician Fbi Ripped Wednesday

Author:Argus Hamilton

“Hillary Clinton flew with President Bush to New York City on Tuesday. She was amazed at the changes aboard Air Force One. For eight years she believed that flight attendants couldn't wear clothes because it made the plane too heavy.”

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Author:Argus Hamilton

“Hillary showed off a new set of White House china at the mansion's 200th birthday dinner Thursday. She said she helped design it. It's thanks to her that all the White House china looks like it's been glued back together.”

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Author:Argus Hamilton

“Hillary Clinton began a New York thank-you tour Friday by calling for the abolition of the Electoral College. No wonder Arkansas never liked her. She hasn't been in office three days and already she's an abolitionist.”

Three Wonder New York College Calling Office Clinton Friday Abolition Arkansas Abolitionist Electoral College

Author:Argus Hamilton