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Quote by Mitch Hedberg

“I played in a death-metal band. People either loved us or hated us. Or they thought we were OK.”

Quote by Mitch Hedberg

Author

Mitch Hedberg was an American comedian born on February 24, 1968. He was known for his unique humor style and insightful observations. Hedberg's career was brief, but he left a lasting impression in the comedy world with his witty sarcasm and humorous wisdom. more

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“A lot of bands have intense names, like "Rigor Mortis" or "Mortuary". We weren't that intense, we called ourselves "Injured". Later on we changed it to "Acapella" when we were walking out of the pawn shop.”

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“I went to a cigar store, the man behind the counter asked me, "What kind of cigars do you like?" I answered, "It's a Boys."”

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“I was at a bar, and this guy bumped into me, and he did not apologize, and he said, "Move!" I thought that was rude, so I said, "Go to hell!" Then I started to run. He caught up to me. He had a mustache, a goatee, a pair of earrings, sunglasses, a ponytail and he was wearing a hat. He said, "Hey, you got a lot of nerve!" I said, "Hey, you got a lot of... cranium accessories!"”

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“I wrote a script, and I gave it to a guy who reads scripts, and he read it, and he liked it, but he said he thinks I ought to re-write it. I said, "Fuck that - I'll just make a copy!"”

Thinking Needs Said Humor Funny Guy Scripts Likes Copies Screws

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“I have a "Do Not Disturb" sign on my hotel door. It's time to go to "Don't Disturb". It's been "Do Not" for too long. We should embrace the contraction.”

Should Long Humor Funny Doors Embrace Hotel Contractions

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“I like to wear a "Do Not Disturb" sign around my neck so that little kids can't tell me knock-knock jokes. "Hey, how ya doin'? Knock-knock." "Read the sign, punk!"”

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“I met the girl who works at the Doubletree front desk, she gave me her number. It's ZERO. I tried to call from here, some other woman answered. "You sound older!"”

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“If 13 is unlucky, then 12 and 14 are guilty by association.”

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“2-in-1 is a stupid term, because 1 is not big enough to hold 2. That's why 2 was created.”

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