Home / Quotes / Quote by Frank Pittman

Quote by Frank Pittman

“The problem is simply this: no one can feel like CEO of his or her life in the presence of the people who toilet trained her and spanked him when he was naughty. We may have become Masters of the Universe, accustomed to giving life and taking it away, casually ordering people into battle or out of their jobs . . . and yet we may still dirty our diapers at the sound of our mommy's whimper or our daddy's growl.”

Quote by Frank Pittman

Author

Frank Pittman, born in 1935 in the United States, was a renowned psychiatrist and psychologist. His research focused on the fields of psychotherapy and interpersonal relationships, having a profound impact on modern psychotherapy. more

You May Also Like

“Parents can fail to cheer your successes as wildly as you expected, pointing out that you are sharing your Nobel Prize with a couple of other people, or that your Oscar was for supporting actress, not really for a starring role. More subtly, they can cheer your successes too wildly, forcing you into the awkward realization that your achievement of merely graduating or getting the promotion did not warrant the fireworks and brass band.”

“Parents have subtle ways of humbling you, of reminding you of your origins, perhaps by showing up at the moment of your greatest glory and reminding you where you came from and demonstrating that you still have some of it between your toes.”

Way Stills Moments Parent Glory Subtle Toes Reminding Humbling Showing Up Demonstrating

Author:Frank Pittman

“Parents vary in their sense of what would be suitable repayment for creating, sustaining, and tolerating you all those years, andwhat circumstances would be drastic enough for presenting the voucher. Obviously there is no repayment that would be sufficient . . . but the effort to call in the debt of life is too outrageous to be treated as anything other than a joke.”

Years Enough Would Be Life Is Parent Effort Circumstances Creating Jokes Debt Treated Sufficient Vary Outrageous Suitable Presenting Sustaining Drastic Vouchers Repayment

Author:Frank Pittman

“Some parents were awful back then and are awful still. The process of raising you didn't turn them into grown-ups. Parents who were clearly imperfect can be helpful to you. As you were trying to grow up despite their fumbling efforts, you had to develop skills and tolerances other kids missed out on. Some of the strongest people I know grew up taking care of inept, invalid, or psychotic parents--but they know the parents weren't normal, healthy, or whole.”

People Knows Trying Stills Whole Care Kids Turns Grows Process Parent Effort Growing Up Grew Healthy Skills Normal Grew Up Tolerance Despite Awful Helpful Strongest Imperfect Psychotic

Author:Frank Pittman

“Fathers who compete hard with their kids are monstrous. The father, for a throw-away victory, is sacrificing the very heart of hischild's sense of being good enough. He may believe he is making his son tough, as he was made tough by a similarly contending father, but he is only making his child desperate and mean like himself. Fathers must let their sons (and daughters) have their victories.”

Believe Heart May Mean Children Made Hard Enough Kids Father Sacrifice Son Victory Daughter Tough Be Good Desperate Good Enough Monstrous Son And Daughter Contending Being Good Enough

Author:Frank Pittman

“Becoming Father the Nurturer rather than just Father the Provider enables a man to fully feel and express his humanity and his masculinity. Fathering is the most masculine thing a man can do.”

Men Feels Humanity Father Can Do Becoming Masculinity Masculine Providers Fathering

Author:Frank Pittman

“In colonial America, the father was the primary parent. . . . Over the past two hundred years, each generation of fathers has hadless authority than the last. . . . Masculinity ceased to be defined in terms of domestic involvement, skills at fathering and husbanding, but began to be defined in terms of making money. Men had to leave home to work. They stopped doing all the things they used to do.”

Men Years Two Home Lasts America Past Used Father Parent Term Generations Skills Authority Hundred Defined Primaries Making Money Masculinity Involvement Over The Past Fathering

Author:Frank Pittman

“To insult a friend implies that you respect his masculinity enough to know he can take it without acting like a crybaby. The swapping of insults, like the fighting between brothers, becomes the seal of the male bonding.”

Knows Enough Fighting Acting Brother Males Insult Masculinity Seals Bonding Swapping Crybabies

Author:Frank Pittman

“Our ability to fall in love requires enough comfort with our masculinity to join it with someone's femininity and feel enhanced. .. . If our mother made us feel secure and proud in our masculinity, then we want to find that again in our wife. If we are really comfortable with our mother, we can even marry a woman who is a friend rather than an adversary, and form a true partnership.”

Ifs Want Feels Made Enough Form Mother Fall Ability Wife Proud Comfort Comfortable Falling In Love Secure Partnership Masculinity Femininity Adversaries

Author:Frank Pittman

“Once women invented farming, and began to keep and breed animals, they discovered the crucial function of the rooster and the henhouse. Fathers suddenly gained a function, and could do what only women had been able to do for all those millions of years--point at a child and say, "That is my son," "That is my daughter." Patriarchy quickly followed, beginning about five thousand years ago; a very short time in the development of our species, but covering all of recorded history.”