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Quote by Dave Barry

“Airline food is not intended for human consumption. It's intended as a form of in-flight entertainment, wherein the object is to guess what it is, starting with broad categories such as "mineral" and "linoleum."”

Quote by Dave Barry

Book:Dave Barry's Only Travel Guide You'll Ever Need

Work

Dave Barry's Only Travel Guide You'll Ever Need

Dave Barry, known for his wit and sarcasm, presents a travel guide that combines humor with practical advice. The book is filled with his characteristic humor, providing readers with an entertaining take on the travel experience. more

Author

Dave Barry is a renowned American humorist, born on July 3, 1947. His works are known for their unique humor style and satirical observations of everyday life. more

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“If the security personnel do their job properly, they just might cause you to miss your plane, thereby possibly saving your life.”

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Book:Dave Barry's Only Travel Guide You'll Ever Need

Source: Dave Barry's Only Travel Guide You'll Ever Need

“I had arrived at the airport one hour early so that, in accordance with airline procedures, I could stand around.”

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Book:Dave Barry Is Not Taking This Sitting Down

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“Motto of the U.S. airline industry - "We're Hoping to Have a Motto Announcement in About an Hour."”

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Author:Dave Barry

“This year, U.S. airlineswill carry a record 143 million passengers, who will be in the air for 382 million hours, during which they will be fed an estimated total of four peanuts.”

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Book:Dave Barry Is Not Taking This Sitting Down

Source: Dave Barry Is Not Taking This Sitting Down

“In modern America, food is abundant everywhere except aboard commercial airplanes.”

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Author:Dave Barry

“Granted, this system is insane, but we must not let sanity stand in the way of airport security.”

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Book:Boogers Are My Beat: More Lies, but Some Actual Journalism

Source: Boogers Are My Beat: More Lies, but Some Actual Journalism

“The Russians will never be able to get their missiles thought the dense protective layer of delayed flights circling over the United States in complex, puke-inducing holding patterns.”

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Author:Dave Barry

“The planes are crowded and noisy and late, and everybody hates everybody. If armed terrorists had tried to hijack any of the flights I've been on lately, we passengers would have swiftly beaten them to death with those hard rolls you get with your in-flight meals.”

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Book:Dave Barry's Greatest Hits

Source: Dave Barry's Greatest Hits

“Funny, isn't it? The airlines go to all that trouble to keep you from taking a gun on board, then they just hand you a dinner roll you could kill a musk ox with.”

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Book:The World According to Dave Barry

Source: The World According to Dave Barry

“If Charles Lindbergh, flying with no instruments other than a bologna sandwich, managed to cross the Atlantic and land safely on a runway completely covered with French people, why are today's airplanes, which are equipped with radar and computers and individualized liquor bottles, unable to cope with fog?”

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Book:Dave Barry's Greatest Hits

Source: Dave Barry's Greatest Hits