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Quote by Dave Chappelle

“Why don't you click your heels three times and go back to Africa.”

Quote by Dave Chappelle

Author

Dave Chappelle, born on August 24, 1973, is an influential American comedian. Known for his unique sense of humor and insightful social commentary, Chappelle's comedy works cover a wide range of topics, from race and culture to politics, and have won him a dedicated fan base. more

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“Then people ask me if I'm worried about the effects of global warming on my kids. Well, obviously I love my kids and I want them to live to be a 100. So that's another 1.8. My kids' kids? Three point six. I'll just tell them we moved to Phoenix.”

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“And finally, and most importantly, the next time we go to war, don't give a specific reason for the war that the left can seize upon and later flog us with it ad nauseam, just do it. Remember, the first rule of Fight Club is that you don't talk about Fight Club.”

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“When asked in his late 90s if his doctor knew he still smoked, Burns said, 'No ... he's dead.'”

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“In those days the best painkiller was ice; it wasn't addictive and it was particularly effective if you poured some whiskey over it.”

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“From now on, we're home schooling you. Whatever we don't know, you don't know. When did the Korean War start? I don't know, and neither do you!”

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“When I was 10 there wasnt trampolines and cartoon charaters, I never went to Chuck E Cheese! My mom said 'You wanna see a mouse pull the refrigerator Out!'”

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“I can never do nothing in this house!”

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“You know how Mexican restaurants always have "border" in the name: Border Grill, Border Cafe. You wouldn't do that to black people: Kunta's Kitchen or Shackles. They don't do it to white people. You don't see the Honkey Grill, the Cracker Barrel... oh, nevermind.”

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“Barack Obama may be black, but John McCain is the first Albino presidential candidate: he's completely see-through!”

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“Y'know, if those pews reclined, and the priests gave the Raiders scores I'd go to church every Sunday.”

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