“The American education system couldn't be more badly directed or poorly funded if the Secretary of Education were Ed Wood.” Quote by Dennis Miller
“The average American's day planner has fewer holes in it than Ray Charles's dart board.” FunnyAverageHolesBoardsUsaRaysFewerPlanners Author:Dennis Miller
“You've got bad eating habits if you use a grocery cart in 7-Eleven.” IfsUseHumorFunnyHabitEatingElevenGroceriesCartsEating Habits Book:Ranting Again Source: Ranting Again
“I'm a comedian, for God's sake. Viewers shouldn't trust me. And you know what? They're hip enough to know they shouldn't trust me. I'm just doing stand-up comedy.” KnowsEnoughComedyTrustSakeHipsComedianTrust In GodViewersTrust MeStand Up Comedy Author:Dennis Miller
“What is guilt? Guilt is the pledge drive constantly hammering in our heads that keeps us from fully enjoying the show. Guilt is the reason they put the articles in Playboy.” ReasonShowsHumorFunnyEnjoyComedyGuiltArticlesPledgePlayboy Author:Dennis Miller
“A new poll shows that Senator Kerry's support in the South is strongest amongst blacks. Kerry's appeal to Southern blacks is obvious. He is a white man who lives far, far away.” MenShowsHumorFunnyWhiteSupportComedySouthObviousAppealsStrongestSouthernFar AwaySenatorsWhite ManPolls Author:Dennis Miller
“President Bush gave his first-ever presidential radio address in both English and Spanish. Reaction was mixed, however, as people were trying to figure out which one was which.” PeopleTryingFirstsHumorFunnyPresidentFiguresRadioReactionsPresidentialAddressesPresident BushFigure Skating Author:Dennis Miller
“My father was a Party member and he was a pretty high rank military officer under the colonel, junior colonel, I don't know the term. He was a total Stalinist. A bit with a streak of anti-Semitism and very shrewd man, a very kind of nervous man.” KnowsMenKindFatherBitsTermPartyMilitaryMembersNervousOfficersJuniorsStreaksAnti SemitismColonels Author:Mikhail Baryshnikov
“What's so touching is the way we fight the war right until the moment our business is taken care of and then we turn on a dime and we immediately start taking care of people. It's like a shock and aw shucks campaign.” PeopleWayWarMomentsCareTurnsFightingBusinessTakenComedyCampaignsShockTouchingTurn-onDimes Author:Dennis Miller
“Soviet regime in a way deprived me from my childhood in my homeland, because my father was in military, and after the Yalta agreement he was sent to teach in military academy in Riga, and I was born then.” WayFatherBornTeachChildhoodMilitaryAgreementSovietRegimesDeprivedAcademyHomeland Author:Mikhail Baryshnikov
“We lived, until I was 12 or so, in communal apartment with five different families and the same kitchen, in two little - my brother and me and my parents. It was hell, but it was a common thing. My father was not general or admiral, but he was colonel. He was teaching in military academy military topography.” LittlesTwoDifferentFatherParentCommonHellFiveTeachingMilitaryBrotherMy BrotherKitchenApartmentAcademyColonelsCommon ThingsAdmiralTopographyDifferent Families Author:Mikhail Baryshnikov