Home / Quotes / Quote by David Letterman

Quote by David Letterman

“I heard some good news today, the FBI and the CIA are going to start cooperating. They are going to start working together. And if you don't know the difference between the FBI and the CIA, the FBI bungles domestic crime, the CIA bungles foreign crime.”

Quote by David Letterman

Author

David Letterman

David Letterman, born on April 12, 1947, is a renowned talk show host from the United States. Known for his unique humor and sharp interviewing skills, Letterman has long been associated with his late-night show. His program has been beloved by audiences for its in-depth interviews, humorous segments, and the iconic 'Late Show Top Ten' list. more

You May Also Like

“The federal government said today they've begun training sessions for airport security workers to provide what they call more customer satisfaction to the travels, they want to make it easier for us. They're instructing security guards to glance at your luggage tags so that they can call you by your first name. Isn't that creepy? The guy touching your wife, calling her by her first name.”

“I flew this past weekend. I went through airport security and said to the guy, 'Is everything okay?' He said, 'You might want to have that mole on your ass checked out.' That seems a little personal to me.”

Want Littles Said Seems Might Past Guy Security Okay Ass Weekend Airports Flew Moles Airport Security

Author:Jay Leno

“I just heard George W. Bush's new plan for airline security. From here on out, every plane will now have its own hockey dad.”

Plans Heard Security Dad Planes Hockey Airline Airline Security

Author:David Letterman

“Reality simply consists of different points of view.”

Different Reality Views Point Of View Different Points Of View

Author:Margaret Atwood

“Yes, a general principle that comes out of research behind Good to Eat is that there are no world religions that have acted to decrease the potential for the nutritional well-being of their followers.”

World Wells Behinds Principles Research Well Being Followers Decrease World Religions

Author:Marvin Harris

“Geraldo has returned to the states. See? I told you airline security was a joke.”

States Security Jokes Airline Airline Security

Author:Jay Leno

“Did you hear about this genius that got on a plane and set fire to his feet? Turns out he had bombs in his shoes and the problem all started when the flight attendants asked him nicely to extinguish his feet. He was wearing exploding sneakers. The new Nike Air-Jihads!”

Problem Turns Fire Air Feet Genius Shoes Flight Planes Bombs Jihad Exploding Sneakers Nike Flight Attendant

Author:David Letterman

“A lot of people are now criticizing Attorney General John Ashcroft for his policy on detaining what he considers suspicious people. I think he's going a little overboard. Today, he arrested the entire band Foreigner.”

People Thinking Littles Today Policy Band Criticize Suspicious Foreigners Arrested Attorney Overboard Detaining

Author:Jay Leno

“On Thursday, a passenger forced his way into the cockpit of a United Airlines flight from Miami, but was subdued after the co-pilot hit him with a small ax. Good to see our airlines are being kept secure by the latest in 12th century technology.”

Way United Technology Century Flight Secure Pilots Airline Passengers Miami Thursday Cockpit

Author:Dennis Miller

“I don't mean to harp on this, but it's like the networks are a how-to manual for terrorists. You see them on the news. This reporter is standing outside a water treatment plant, going, 'If they poured the poison here it could wipe out thousands because the guard is off duty from noon until 1 every day!'”

Ifs Mean Water Duty News Standing Plant Terrorist Poison Treatment Reporters Standing Out Wipe Noon Manuals Harps

Author:Jay Leno