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Quote by Shellen Lubin

“When I apologize, I try to make my understanding, my responsibility, and my intention clear. Even if the follow-through is not completely consistent, the exposing itself with no excuses at least gives me--gives us--a chance. Which is why the first words from me when someone apologizes, often, is, 'For what?' That is the only way the unraveling of accountability, empathy, complicity, and commitment to revision can begin.”

Quote by Shellen Lubin

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Shellen Lubin

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“Understand: we can never really experience what other people are experiencing. We always remain on the outside looking in, and this is the cause of so many misunderstandings and conflicts. But the primal source of human intelligence comes from the development of mirror neurons (see here), which gives us the ability to place ourselves in the skin of another and imagine their experience. Through continual exposure to people and by attempting to think inside them we can gain an increasing sense of their perspective, but this requires effort on our part. Our natural tendency is to project onto other people our own beliefs and value systems, in ways in which we are not even aware. When it comes to studying another culture, it is only through the use of our empathic powers and by participating in their lives that we can begin to overcome these natural projections and arrive at the reality of their experience. To do so we must overcome our great fear of the Other and the unfamiliarity of their ways. We must enter their belief and value systems, their guiding myths, their way of seeing the world. Slowly, the distorted lens through which we first viewed them starts to clear up. Going deeper into their Otherness, feeling what they feel, we can discover what makes them different and learn about human nature. This applies to cultures, individuals, and even writers of books. As Nietzsche once wrote, “As soon as you feel yourself against me you have ceased to understand my position and consequently my arguments! You have to be the victim of the same passion.”

CultureEmpathyUnderstanding OthersPracticalityNew Perspectives
Book:Mastery
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“NON-EMPATHS naturally put themselves first. They experience themselves in vivid color, brighter and more interesting than everyone else. Granted, a non-empath will occasionally have an insight, such as “I notice things going on beneath the surface of the conversation.” While an unskilled empath has insights constantly, and to such an extent that it’s like living grayed out—fascinated by everyone else, because even random people appear so much more colorful. Yet a SKILLED EMPATH gets to be in full color, just like everyone else, and going deeper when we choose. Yes, going deeper as a matter of choice. Otherwise we stay on the surface of life, enjoying the very human privilege of personal vividness in living color.”

EmpathyEmpathEmpathsPsychic MediumHsp EmpathEmpath IntrovertEnergetic BoundariesGifted EmpathPsychic Medium EmpathSpiritual Psychic Afterlife
Book:Empath Empowerment in 30 Days
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“A recovery friend of mine once belonged to an AA group called “What’s Your Motivation?” She said she’d always ask herself that in situations where she had to say or do something she might regret, and she’d ask others as well. She asked me that once or twice. So, you start out by asking yourself that question when the situation arises, and a lot of time you realize there is no good motive behind the thing you want to do or say, so you don’t say it. You don’t do it. After a while, it becomes second nature. Unfortunately, however, so many people out there are living their lives while untreated for their afflictions. Whether it’s addiction, including alcoholism, or a type of personality disorder, their behavior often stems from how they feel about themselves based on other people’s words and actions, things they had inadvertently taken on and clung to fiercely. They may have a desperate need for attention, validation, admiration, and respect. Maybe their delusions distort their perception of themselves and how others view them. They are so busy worrying about themselves that they are often oblivious to their motives and may not realize how little regard they have for others. In a genuine sense, they are fighting for themselves, but they’re not winning. Many of us have lived that way once upon a time and, because of it, spent a copious amount of energy on damage control. Knowing we said something we shouldn’t have said or did something we shouldn’t have done and going into this anxiety-ridden desperation to save our “image”—an image that likely isn’t real but a delusion. When we should be more concerned about apologizing or making amends, we’re more obsessed with not wanting to be seen in a negative light and having to act in order to change the negative perception. It takes recovery, healing, and time to learn that if you are intent on doing the right thing, doing right by people, and having everyone’s best interests at heart, you’ll know how to react and respond to things. And if you ever say or do something you regret, you simply say you were wrong and apologize. Empathy for others and for ourselves is what makes it possible. It makes us care about how we treat people and the effect it’s having on not only them but on our lives and the lives of anyone who cares about us. We eventually understand that how we treat people is just as important as catering to our own needs. I think it’s important to understand what made us a certain way in life and to acknowledge that, but then we have to fix it. It becomes our job and responsibility to heal that so that we grow and change. Too many people never get to a point where they can see it, let alone understand it, so those of us who do are quite fortunate.”

MotivationHopeHealingEgoEmpathyMental HealthTraumaRecoveryAddiction And Recovery
Author:D.K. Sanz
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“I am tired of people calling those of us who get stuck in these cycles "codependent" or "addicted" to the narcissistic relationship. It's not that. If you have any empathy, have normal cognitive functioning, and were shaped by societal and cultural norms and realities, it is not surprising that you would get stuck. The narcissistic relationship is like a riptide that pulls you back in even as you try to swim away. The intensity, attentiveness, and highs and lows are why you swim out to where the riptide is. The abusive behavior makes you want to swim away from the riptide, but the guilt and fear of leaving, the practical issues raised by leaving (financial, safety, cultural, family), as well as the natural drive toward attachment, connection, and love are what keep you stuck in the riptide's pull.”

HealingEmpathyTrauma Bonding
Book:It's Not You: Identifying and Healing from Narcissistic People
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“Whenever you ask God to help your inner life, it's impossible to ask too much. Give yourself permission to ask big. Demand that God give you more than a thimble-sized blessing. Ask for huge amounts of self-love, self confidence, spiritual awakening, clarity, personal power. Or choose anything else that will strengthen you.”

GodInspirationEmpathySensitiveSpiritual GrowthSensitivityEmpathEmpathicHighly Sensitive PersonHsp
Book:Empath Empowerment in 30 Days
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