“Sheep are not considered the most intelligent animals but British scientist say humans may have underestimated the woolly creatures. In fact, the British scientific community is even suggesting that the animals might even be "Irish-smart.".” HumansMayFactsMightCommunityAnimalCreaturesSmartScientistIntelligentBritishSheepSuggestingUnderestimatedBeing Irish Author:Jon Stewart
“The problem ... is that we have run out of dinosaurs to form oil with. Scientists working for the Department of Energy have tried to form oil using other animals; they've piled thousands of tons of sand and Middle Eastern countries on top of cows, raccoons, haddock, laboratory rats, etc., but so far all they have managed to do is run up an enormous bulldozer-rental bill and anger a lot of Middle Eastern persons. None of the animals turned into oil, although most of the laboratory rats developed cancer.” PersonsCountryProblemRunningFormEnergyAnimalMiddleHumorousScientistBillsCancerOilEnormousDepartmentSandEtcCowsRatsEasternLaboratoryDinosaursRaccoonsBulldozers Author:Dave Barry
“English stupidity is an organism so primitive that it is apparently impossible to kill off. It reminds me of Physarum Polycephalum, the gigantic slime mould recently bred by scientists at Bonn. Bright yellow and about two millimetres thick, this monocellular creature--neither plant nor animal--grew to a size of 10 square yards before the scientists took fright and froze it. It can smell its favourite food, and move towards it at a speed of up to two centimetres an hour. This favourite food is porridge.” TwoMovingHoursAnimalImpossibleGrewCreaturesScientistPlantSizeSmellStupiditySpeedSquaresYellowThickFavouritePrimitiveOrganismsYardsFrightMouldSlimePorridge Author:Neal Ascherson
“Louis [Leakey] was anxious to initiate a scientific study of these chimpanzees. It would be difficult, he emphasized, for nothing was known; there were no guidelines for such a field study; and the habitat was remote and rugged. Dangerous wild animals would be living there, and chimpanzees themselves were considered at least four times stronger than humans. I remember wondering what kind of scientist he would find for such a herculean task.” HumansKindWould BeRememberScienceDifficultAnimalKnownWonderStudyFourDangerousFieldsTasksScientistStrongerIronyAnxiousInitiateHabitatWild AnimalChimpanzeesGuidelinesRugged Author:Jane Goodall
“vivisection is not the same thing as scientific progress. There is such a thing as scientific progress. But this wholesale dedication of scientists to vivisection, which is the easy and cheap way, actually prevents them from scientific progress, for true progress is difficult and requires genius and imagination in its devoted workers.” WayEasyDifficultImaginationAnimalProgressGeniusScientistWorkersAnimal RightsDedicationDevotedWholesaleVivisectionScientific Progress Book:Strength to Your Sword Arm: Selected Writings Source: Strength to Your Sword Arm: Selected Writings
“It is doubtful that the dissection of living animals and plants could be done by those who believe them to be holy. A pantheist would not view trees as so many board feet in the manner a Christian would. A pantheist would be less likely to measure the number of acre feet coming over a waterfall than his Christian descendent, centuries later who had become a scientist. That which is sacred would be handled with a certain reverence.” BelieveDoneWould BeChristianCertainAnimalViewsNumbersTreeFeetCenturyHolyScientistSacredPlantEnvironmentalBoardsReverenceStewardshipDoubtfulAcresWaterfallsDissection Author:Wes Jackson
“I was watching Animal Planet. Did you know that the male seahorse has the baby? And I was thinking, "Why don't they just call that the female seahorse?" You know it's just some stubborn scientist. "Yeah, that one there's the male seahorse." And his assistant's like, "Uh, Bill, that one's having a baby." ... "The male has the baby. You're fired."” ThinkingKnowsFunnyAnimalComedyPlanetsBabyFemaleScientistYeahBillsMalesStubbornAssistantsDid You KnowHaving A Baby Author:Jim Gaffigan
“Scientists have been saying, for an awfully long time, that we're all interconnected. Scientists would use the word 'ecosystem' to express that idea. Obviously, people can't survive without air and water, and we rely on plants and animals for food, and plants and animals rely on us to preserve their habitats.” PeopleLongHas BeensIdeasUseWaterAnimalAirLong TimeScientistPlantPreservesRelyEcosystemsInterconnectedHabitatPlants And AnimalsAir And Water Author:Naomi Oreskes
“This is historically what happens whenever revolutionaries begin to take the oppression and suffering of their fellow beings seriously, whether human or nonhuman. It's regrettable that certain scientists are willing to put their families at risk by choosing to do wasteful animal experiments in this day and age.” HumansHappensAgeCertainSufferingAnimalRiskWillingScientistFellowsExperimentsOppressionRevolutionaryThis Day Author:Jerry Vlasak
“Animal experiments are no joke. Thank goodness scientists are finding better, more humane ways to develop treatments for cancer and other killer diseases.” WayAnimalGoodnessDiseaseFindingsJokesScientistCancerExperimentsTreatmentKillersHumaneHumane Way Author:Carol Leifer