“People gave me such a bad time about wanting a baby. I didn't want a baby, and I still don't. I wanted a dog.” PeopleWantStillsWantedDogBabyBad Times Author:Ann Patchett
“Watching a baby being born is a little like watching a wet St. Bernard coming in through the cat door.” ChildrenLittlesKidsFunnyBornDoorsDogBabyCatWetBabies Being Born Author:Jeff Foxworthy
“We have a new puppy and that's enough! Two babies and three dogs is enough.” TwoEnoughThreeDogBabyPuppyThree Dog Author:Christine Taylor
“Like lots of baby boomers, I was brought up on archaic anthropomorphism. Upstanding Christian dogs. Rabbits with family values. Because the ancient texts and pictures were sacred - Potter, Milne and the rest. Even concerned parents who knew Freud and Jung never saw the contradictions in feeding us on them.” ChristianValuesParentSawsDogBabyConcernedSacredAncientContradictionFeedingRabbitsPottersFamily ValuesJungBoomersBaby BoomerAnthropomorphism Author:Peter York
“There is absolutely nothing humorous at the Masters. Here, small dogs do not bark and babies do not cry.” DogCryMastersBabyHumorousGolfAbsolutely NothingBarkSmall Dogs Author:Gary Player
“The only thing I can say about W. C. Fields ... is this: Any man who hates dogs and babies can't be all bad.” MenI CanHateDogFieldsBaby Author:Leo Rosten
“It seems to me obvious that infants and many animals that do not in any ordinary sense have a language or perform speech acts nonetheless have Intentional states. Only someone in the grip of a philosophical theory would deny that small babies can literally be said to want milk and that dogs want to be let out or believe that their master is at the door.” WantBelieveSaidStatesSeemsLanguageAnimalDoorsDogMastersTheoryBabySpeechOrdinaryPhilosophicalObviousDenyMilkInfant Author:John Searle
“You're sitting there, with your wife and your baby and your smiling dog, and you're watching Real Housewives getting into fistfights on TV. And you go, 'How great is my life? I'm so happy right now.'” RealWifeDogTvsBabyRight NowSittingHousewifeReal Housewives Author:Jimmy Fallon
“I'm not going to call a dog "Dog." I suppose if she were a baby you'd cal her "Person."” IfsPersonsDogBaby Author:Warren Beatty
“I don't like running when I'm holding things in my hand, whether it's a dog leash or a baby jogger. My mechanics get all messed up.” HandsRunningDogBabyMechanicMessed UpLeashes Author:Kai Ryssdal
“I have a dog at home, and that's my baby. She's my girl, and I would do absolutely anything for her. She's like a child to me.” ChildrenHomeGirlDogBabyMy BabyMy Girl Author:Michael Graziadei
“I have wanted to have a baby since I was a teenager, but it frightens me. It is much easier to have a dog.” WantedDogBabyEasierTeenager Author:Carmen Electra
“When I asked my mother where babies came from, she thought I said rabies. She said you get them from being bitten by a dog. The next week, a woman on my block gave birth to triplets... I thought she'd been bitten by a Great Dane.” SaidMotherNextWeekDogBabyBirthBlockNext WeekTripletRabies Author:Woody Allen
“I'm not particularly pre-occupied with the husband / baby thing. Besides I have a dog.” DogBabyHusband Author:Calista Flockhart
“I never leave a dog alone in a car on a hot day. I make sure it's with an elderly person holding a baby.” PersonsDogCarBabyHotElderlyHot Days Author:Dane Cook
“When your first baby drops her pacifier, you sterilize it. When your second baby drops her pacifier, you tell the dog: 'Fetch!'” FirstsDogBabyFetchFirst BabyPacifiers Author:Bruce Lansky
“Maybe my work isn't a cry for help. It may just be a baby's need to cry or a dog's need to bark. You know, barks that seem connected to phantom noises and cries that just come; though a baby's cries are usually efficient - something is bothering them. Anyway, I think giving money is a sign of love. If you truly want to help someone, a lot of times giving them money is the best thing you can do.” IfsThinkingKnowsWantNeedsGivingMayHelpingSeemsCan DoDogCryBabyConnectedNoiseBotherBest ThingsEfficientBarkPhantomsGiving MoneySigns Of Love Author:Jonathan Ames
“I never felt inspired to write this book [ I Had Brain Surgery, What's Your Excuse?], like I did with the cat or dog book; I felt compelled. At the time (May 1999), I was planning to write and illustrate an altogether different memoir, a book about my decision whether or not to have a baby.” WritingMayBookDifferentFeltDecisionBrainDogBabyCatInspiredExcusePlanningMemoirSurgeryCompelledBrain Surgery Author:Suzy Becker
“If you want to open a supermarket chain and put your face all around the globe, selling your baby and your dog, if it makes you happy, who am I to disagree, as the song goes. But it's not for me. I've always tried to keep my integrity and keep my autonomy.” IfsWantFacesSongDogBabyIntegritySellingChainsYour FaceDisagreeGlobesAutonomyMake You HappySupermarkets Author:Annie Lennox
“My obstetrician was so dumb that when I gave birth he forgot to cut the cord. For a year that kid followed me everywhere. It was like having a dog on a leash.” YearsKidsCuttingDogBabyBirthParentingMotherhoodDumbMemorableCordsLeashesBaby BoyObstetricians Author:Joan Rivers
“From the moment this baby came into our home, those two dogs have never been more in love. It's the most beautiful thing I've ever witnessed. People keep saying, 'Oh, you're a single mom.' I'm like, 'Actually, I'm not. I've got two boys helping.'” PeopleTwoMomentsHelpingHomeBeautifulBoysDogBabyMomBeautiful ThingsSingle MomTwo Dogs Author:Charlize Theron
“Let’s think of reverence as awe, as presence in and openness to the world…Try walking around with a child who’s going, ‘Wow, wow! Look at that dirty dog! Look at that burned-down house! Look at that red sky!’ And the child points, and you look, and you see, and you start going, ‘Wow! Look at that huge crazy hedge! Look at that teeny little baby! Look at the scary dark cloud!’ I think this is how we are supposed to be in the world – present and in awe.” ThinkingWorldTryingLooksChildrenLittlesHouseDarkSkyCrazyDogHugeBabyWalkingRedCloudsScarySupposed To BeDirtyAweOpennessWowReverenceBurnedDark Clouds Author:Anne Lamott
“You really are here. (Thanatos) Hair of the dog, baby. Sooner or later, we all dance with the devil. Tonight, it’s your turn. (Zarek)” TurnsDogHairBabyDevilTonightSooner Or LaterThanatos Book:Dance With the Devil Source: Dance With the Devil
“The best parenting advice I ever got was from a labor nurse who told me the following: 1. After your baby gets here, the dog will just be a dog. 2. The terrible twos last through age three. 3. Never ask your child an open-ended question, such as "Do you want to go to bed now?" You won't want to hear the answer, believe me. "Do you want me to carry you upstairs, or do you want to walk upstairs to go to bed?" That way, you get the outcome you want and they feel empowered.” WayWantFeelsBelieveChildrenAgeLastsThreeAsksParentAnswersWalksAdviceDogBabyTerribleBedLaborFollowingYour ChildrenOutcomesNurseWant MeBelieve In MeEmpoweredYou Want MeUpstairsDo You Want Me Author:Jodi Picoult