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Blood Quotes

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Blood Quotes

“I would recommend to those persons who are inclined to stagnate, whose blood is beginning to thicken sluggishly in their veins, to try keeping four dogs, two of which are puppies.”

Trying Persons Two Funny Four Blood Dog Veins Puppy Cute Puppy

Book:Delphi Complete Works of Elizabeth von Arnim (Illustrated)

Source: Delphi Complete Works of Elizabeth von Arnim (Illustrated)

“My father was one-eighth Cherokee indian and my mother was quarter-blood Cherokee. I never got far enough in arithmetic to figure out how much injun that made me, but there's nothing of which I am more proud than my Cherokee blood.”

Made Enough Humor Funny Mother Father Blood Figures Proud Indian Quarters Arithmetic Cherokee Cherokee Indian

Book:The Will Rogers scrapbook

Source: The Will Rogers scrapbook

“I've got a bit of Scottish Blood... On my kitchen knife!!”

Humor Funny Bits Blood Kitchen Knives Scottish Kitchen Knives

Author:Milton Jones

“I'll tell you what makes my blood boil?... Crematoriums.”

Humor Funny Blood

Book:The Biggest Ever Tim Vine Joke Book

Source: The Biggest Ever Tim Vine Joke Book

“The arresting officer, who I had literally known, all my life. You know what I mean? This guy lived four doors down the street me, in a town of less than four hundred people. *We've met.* Now, he takes me to jail, and he asks me if I have any aliases. And I was just being a smartass, and I said, "Yeah. They call me, "Tater Salad!" Seventeen years later, I'm handcuffed on a bench in New York with blood coming out of my nose, and this cop goes, "Are you Ron 'Tater Salad' White?"”

“Yes, he's got all them different kinds of thoroughbred blood in him, and he's got other kinds you ain't mentioned and that you ain't slick enough to see.”

Kind Different Enough Funny Blood Dog Different Kinds Slick Thoroughbreds Mutts

Book:The Revolt of the Oyster

Source: The Revolt of the Oyster

“Last night I didn't realize I said "abortion" in my stand up comedy act instead of "circumcision." No wonder I got blank stares at "rabbi got faint at sight of blood."”

Said Funny Lasts Night Realizing Wonder Comedy Blood Sight Staring Abortion Blank Last Night Rabbi Stand Up Comedy Circumcision Blank Stares

Author:Ben Rosenfield