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Cheerleading Quotes

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Cheerleading Quotes

“All those posters and PSAs and health class presentations on body image and the way you can burst blood vessels in your face and rupture your esophagus if you can’t stop ramming those sno balls down your throat every night, knowing they’ll have to come back up again, you sad weak girl. Because of all this, Coach surely can’t tell a girl, a sensitive, body-conscious teenage girl, to get rid of the tender little tuck around her waist, can she? She can. Coach can say anything. And there’s Emily, keening over the toilet bowl after practice, begging me to kick her in the gut so she can expel the rest, all that cookie dough and cool ranch, the smell making me roil. Emily, a girl made entirely of donut sticks, cheese powder, and haribo. I kick, I do. She would do the same for me.”

“Staying in shape does not come easily, especially as you get older and you don't have as much time or energy to exercise. I used to be naturally skinny in high school and college. I was in cheerleading, ran track, and did gymnastics, so I had a built-in five-hour workout every day. Lately, I've been doing Pilates on the Megaformer, which is like Pilates on steroids.”

“It is difficult to say what is impossible, for the dream of yesterday is the hope of today and the reality of tomorrow.”

“For the women in California, they're just downtrodden because they're so gorgeous here. Every hot cheerleader comes to California to make it. The men don't want to get married, they're lazy lions. Matthew McConaughey is their poster boy so they can procreate and live on the beach in the trailer and have kids and have money and be hedonistic.”

“Your life does not get better by chance, it gets better by change.”

“I was a soccer cheerleader. It doesn't get nerdier than that. I was fired from the soccer cheerleading squad after one year, which I believe to this day is unprecedented. You have to understand, no one went to the soccer games. In fact, I believe part of my duties as a cheerleader was to bake brownies for the team.”