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H2g2 Quotes

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H2g2 Quotes

“Having solved all the major mathematical, physical, chemical, biological, sociological, philosophical, etymological, meteorological and psychological problems of the Universe except for his own, three times over, [Marvin] was severely stuck for something to do, and had taken up composing short dolorous ditties of no tone, or indeed tune. The latest one was a lullaby. Marvin droned, Now the world has gone to bed, Darkness won't engulf my head, I can see in infrared, How I hate the night. He paused to gather the artistic and emotional strength to tackle the next verse. Now I lay me down to sleep, Try to count electric sheep, Sweet dream wishes you can keep, How I hate the night.”

HumorSci FiMarvinHitchhikers Guide To The GalaxyH2g2Counting Sheep
Book:Life, the Universe and Everything
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“Now it is such a bizarrely improbable coincidence that anything so mind-bogglingly useful could have evolved purely by chance that some thinkers have chosen to see it as the final and clinching proof of the non-existence of God. The argument goes something like this: "I refuse to prove that I exist,'" says God, "for proof denies faith, and without faith I am nothing." "But," says Man, "The Babel fish is a dead giveaway, isn't it? It could not have evolved by chance. It proves you exist, and so therefore, by your own arguments, you don't. QED." "Oh dear," says God, "I hadn't thought of that," and promptly vanishes in a puff of logic. "Oh, that was easy," says Man, and for an encore goes on to prove that black is white and gets himself killed on the next zebra crossing.”

GodCreationLogicManRationalismH2g2Hitchhiker S Guide
Book:The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy
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“One of the major difficulties Trillian experienced in her relationship with Zaphod was learning to distinguish between him pretending to be stupid just to get people off their guard, pretending to be stupid because he couldn't be bothered to think and wanted someone else to do it for him, pretending to be outrageously stupid to hide the fact that he actually didn’t understand what was going on, and really being genuinely stupid. He was renowned for being amazingly clever and quite clearly was so—but not all the time, which obviously worried him, hence, the act. He preferred people to be puzzled rather than contemptuous.”

IntelligenceStupidityHitchhikers Guide To The GalaxyZaphod BeeblebroxH2g2Trillian
Book:The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy
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“It comes from a very ancient democracy, you see..." "You mean, it comes from a world of lizards?" "No," said Ford, who by this time was a little more rational and coherent than he had been, having finally had the coffee forced down him, "nothing so simple. Nothing anything like so straightforward. On its world, the people are people. The leaders are lizards. The people hate the lizards and the lizards rule the people." "Odd," said Arthur, "I thought you said it was a democracy." "I did," said Ford. "It is." "So," said Arthur, hoping he wasn't sounding ridiculously obtuse, "why don't people get rid of the lizards?" "It honestly doesn't occur to them," said Ford. "They've all got the vote, so they all pretty much assume that the government they've voted in more or less approximates to the government they want." "You mean they actually vote for the lizards?" "Oh yes," said Ford with a shrug, "of course." "But," said Arthur, going for the big one again, "why?" "Because if they didn't vote for a lizard," said Ford, "the wrong lizard might get in. Got any gin?" "What?" "I said," said Ford, with an increasing air of urgency creeping into his voice, "have you got any gin?" "I'll look. Tell me about the lizards." Ford shrugged again. "Some people say that the lizards are the best thing that ever happenned to them," he said. "They're completely wrong of course, completely and utterly wrong, but someone's got to say it." "But that's terrible," said Arthur. "Listen, bud," said Ford, "if I had one Altairian dollar for every time I heard one bit of the Universe look at another bit of the Universe and say 'That's terrible' I wouldn't be sitting here like a lemon looking for a gin.”

HumorDemocracyHitchhikers Guide To The GalaxyFord PrefectArthur DentH2g2
Book:So Long, and Thanks for All the Fish
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“Life... is like a grapefruit. Well, it's sort of orangey-yellow and dimpled on the outside, wet and squidgy in the middle. It's got pips inside, too. Oh, and some people have half a one for breakfast.”

PeopleWellsLife IsHalfMiddleFoodBreakfastYellowWetGalaxyLife Is LikeHitchhikers Guide To The GalaxyHitchhikers GuideGrapefruitFord PrefectH2g2
Book:The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy Omnibus: A Trilogy in Four Parts
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“The History of every major Galactic Civilization tends to pass through three distinct and recognizable phases, those of Survival, Inquiry and Sophistication, otherwise known as the How, Why, and Where phases. For instance, the first phase is characterized by the question 'How can we eat?' the second by the question 'Why do we eat?' and the third by the question 'Where shall we have lunch?”

FirstsThreeKnownCivilizationMajorsSurvivalThirdsInstanceLunchPhasesInquiryGalaxySophisticationHitchhikers Guide To The GalaxyHitchhikers GuideH2g2
Book:The Restaurant at the End of the Universe
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“The argument goes something like this: "I refuse to prove that I exist," says God, "for proof denies faith, and without faith I am nothing.”

ReligionAtheismProveArgumentLogicAtheistRefuseDenyProofAgnosticGalaxyReligious FaithThere Is No GodAtheisticGod ExistsPuffExistence Of GodThere Being No GodHitchhikers Guide To The GalaxyHitchhikers GuideHitchhikingFaith ReligionNon ExistenceBabelGod Is DeadReligion In SocietyHikerProof Of GodDaily AtheistProof That God ExistsProof God ExistsH2g2
Book:The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: The Trilogy of Five
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“In many of the more relaxed civilizations on the Outer Eastern Rim of the Galaxy, the Hitch-Hiker's Guide has already supplanted the great Encyclopaedia Galactica as the standard repository of all knowledge and wisdom, for though it has many omissions and contains much that is apocryphal, or at least wildly inaccurate, it scores over the older, more pedestrian work in two important respects. First, it is slightly cheaper; and secondly it has the words DON'T PANIC inscribed in large friendly letters on its cover.”

FirstsTwoImportantCivilizationStandardsLettersGuidesScoreFriendlyPanicEasternGalaxyRelaxedCheaperRimsKnowledge And WisdomOmissionPedestriansHitchhikers Guide To The GalaxyHitchhikers GuideHikerH2g2
Book:The Restaurant at the End of the Universe
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“Marvin trudged on down the corridor, still moaning. "...and then of course I've got this terrible pain in all the diodes down my left hand side..." "No?" said Arthur grimly as he walked along beside him. "Really?" "Oh yes," said Marvin, "I mean I've asked for them to be replaced but no one ever listens." "I can imagine.”

MeanSaidStillsI CanHandsPainCoursesLeftSidesImagineTerribleReplacedGalaxyArthurCorridorsLeft HandMarvinMoaningHitchhikers Guide To The GalaxyHitchhikers GuideArthur DentH2g2
Book:The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy Omnibus: A Trilogy in Four Parts
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