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Humor Quotes

Browse 16077 quotes about Humor.

Humor Quotes

“From my close observation of writers... they fall into two groups: 1) those who bleed copiously and visibly at any bad review, and 2) those who bleed copiously and secretly at any bad review.”

Writing Two Humor Funny Science Fall Secret Groups Criticism Observation Reviews Bad Reviews

Book:Gold: the final science fiction collection

Source: Gold: the final science fiction collection

“In every instance when my administration sees a responsibility to help people, we will look first to faith-based institutions, to charities and to community groups that have shown their ability to save and change lives.”

People Firsts Looks Helping Humor Political Community Ability Responsibility Groups Institutions Charity Instance Administration Life Changing Political Humor Faith Based

Author:George W. Bush

“We will allow private and religious groups to compete to provide services in every federal, state and local social program.”

States Humor Political Social Religious Groups Program Locals Political Humor Social Programs

Author:George W. Bush

“If I'm out to dinner with a group of friends, and somebody offers to pay for the check, I immediately reach for my wallet. Inside is a note that says, "Say thanks!"”

Ifs Humor Funny Pay Groups Offers Notes Dinner Checks Thanks Wallets Group Of Friends

Author:Mitch Hedberg

“I'm in a weird position, because I like rainbows, but I'm not gay. So whenever I go out wearing a rainbow shirt, I have to put "Not gay." But I'm not against gays, so under that I'll have to put "... but supportive." It's weird how one group of people took refracted light. That's very greedy, gays.”

People Humor Light Funny Groups Position Gay Shirts Rainbow Greedy Supportive

Author:Demetri Martin

“Eggs! They're not a food, they belong in no group! They're just farts clothed in substance!”

Humor Funny Groups Substance Eggs Fart

Author:Dylan Moran

“I once had a problem ... so I tried group sex. Now I have a new problem - who to thank.”

Problem Humor Funny Sex Groups

Author:Rodney Dangerfield

“In Washington, officials from the National Rifle Association met with a group of high school students. There were no survivors.”

Humor School Funny Groups Students Mets High School Officials Survivor Association Rifles High School Students

Author:Tina Fey

“If you look at a group of people that had faith, it's got to be the Jews. They followed Moses through the desert for 40 years with no map. There had to be one guy in the back, like, 'I don't think he knows where he's going.'”

People Ifs Thinking Knows Years Looks Humor Funny Guy Groups Jew Desert Maps Moses

Author:Adam Ferrara