“I haven't had a chance to talk, but I'm confident we'll get a bill that I can live with if we don't.” IfsI CanHumorPoliticalChanceHavensBillsPolitical Humor Author:George W. Bush
“I would have to ask the questioner. I haven't had a chance to ask the questioners the question they've been questioning. On the other hand, I firmly believe she'll be a fine secretary of labor. And I've got confidence in Linda Chavez. She is a - she'll bring an interesting perspective to the Labor Department.” BelieveHumorHandsPoliticalAsksChanceInterestingHavensPerspectiveFineLaborDepartmentQuestioningSecretaryPolitical HumorChavez Author:George W. Bush
“Well, that's going to be up to the pundits and the people to make up their mind. I'll tell you what is a president for him, for example, talking about my record in the state of Texas. I mean, he's willing to say anything in order to convince people that I haven't had a good record in Texas.” PeopleMindWellsMeanStatesHumorPoliticalOrderPresidentTalkingRecordsHavensExampleWillingConvinceTexasSay AnythingPolitical HumorPunditsGood Records Author:George W. Bush
“I haven't slept for ten days, because that would be too long.” LongHumorWould BeFunnyComedyHavensTenCool Status Author:Mitch Hedberg
“Tonight's show is about doubt. Or maybe it isn't - haven't made my mind up yet.” MindMadeShowsHumorFunnyDoubtHavensTonight Author:Bill Bailey
“And yet, people still turn to Jesus. You will notice though that the kind of people who turn to Jesus tend to be the sort of people who haven't done that well with everybody else.” PeopleWellsKindStillsDoneHumorFunnyTurnsJesusHavens Author:Dylan Moran
“Then there was the man who declared in court, he wasn't a person. "Excuse me, sir, why haven't you paid your taxes." "Well, as you can clearly see, I am not a person." "Well, you look like a person." "No it's all done with mirrors, trust me!"” MenWellsLooksPersonsDoneHumorFunnyHavensHe ManTaxesPaidMirrorsCourtExcuseTrust MeExcuse Me Author:Lewis Black
“We use similar products. Our focus industry is healthcare and hospitality. But we haven?t done anything interactive. The first day full of seminars is full of things I thought would be useful: quick service restaurant and mobile phone applications. Businesses are providing more services and products by self-service means.” FirstsMeanSelfDoneUseHumorWould BeFunnyFocusHavensProductsIndustryPhonesRestaurantsApplicationHealthcareProvidingHospitalityMobileMobile PhonesInteractiveSeminarsSelf Service Author:Milton Jones
“A man walked into the doctor's, The doctor said 'I haven't seen you in a long time' The man replied, 'I know I've been ill'.” KnowsMenLongSaidHumorFunnyHavensHe ManLong TimeDoctorsIll Author:Tommy Cooper