“I bought a scratch off lottery ticket, but then I accidentally spilled calamine lotion on it, so it did not need to be scratched. Shoot! I will not know if I have won!” IfsKnowsNeedsHumorFunnyTicketsScratchesLotteryLotionLottery Ticket Author:Mitch Hedberg
“My favourite road sign is 'Falling Rocks'. What exactly am I supposed to do with that information? They may as well have a sign saying "Random accidents ahead", "Life's a lottery, Be lucky."” WellsMayHumorFunnyFallRocksInformationLuckyAccidentsFavouriteLotteryRoad SignSign Sayings Author:Jimmy Carr